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    1. #1
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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      Hi, folks. I have not posted much of late because of various on-the-board “issues“. I try to come back and touch base every once in a while only to find the same shit different thread cattiness still taking place. I have come to the conclusion that the drama won’t end because people don’t want it to. Some say they do, but then they are the first to jump into the middle of something. You know the ones (and there are many) the…. I am going to make my comments and I don’t care if I ruffle feathers, but then when I am finished with what I have to say, then I want this thread closed so I can have the last word and look like the hero who stopped the drama, so if you even bother to post your entitled opinion then people will attack you because you won‘t let the issue drop and then you are going to look like the bad guy cause blah blah blah….those posts cracks me up every time! I am giggling now just thinking about some past posts.

      But what prompted this post was (again) someone started a thread with love and support as a goal and it has quickly taken a turn for the worse.

      Is the issue here really Drinking While Posting? I used to think so, but not anymore. The real issue should be posting responsibly whether you're drinking at the time or not. I have seen some very nasty posts out there from some self proclaimed sober people. So obviously drinking while posting isn’t what’s causing fuel to the fires. I don’t want to hear that we have to have sympathy for the drunk people, because they didn’t know what they were doing. I disagree. If you posted it, then be an adult about it when you sober up the next day. It can be a bitter pill to swallow, but we have all been there so you are not alone. We are here to help and most people are very understanding. I have seen so many people forgive so many other members for past posts, simply because someone was adult enough to apologize. Not hide behind another sign-on name, but hell that’s another issue. I could start a whole new thread on phony people with their sneaky new sign-on names and nasty PMs vs. sugary sweet public posts, but I digress.

      To get back on topic….Why can’t people simply respect another’s opinion on a subject? So what if you don’t agree with what they think. So many here claim they do respect others opinions and then they turned around and attack someone’s post. I am really beginning to recognize the repeat offenders and some of the patterns are hysterical. I really just don’t get it.

      There are ways to diplomatically disagree with someone without being rude. It is also possible to have healthy debates without sarcasm. The choice is your’s and your’s alone. But don’t be shocked (or worse, accuse someone of wanting to cause drama) simply because they feel the need to defend themselves. Oh, and if you get caught in a lie because you post one comment on one thread and a different one on another, well then you are going to get called out on it. Again, it’s about being responsible for your own posts and comments whether you posted drunk or not.


      In my opinion, this bull of Oldies vs. Newbies, Afers vs. Mods, Sober posters vs. Drinking posters, etc has got to cease. People accusing others of having “cliques” is really wearing thin. Some people who have been here awhile have made friends. So what? Does that mean that jealous barbs should be thrown at them? If you want a friend, make a friend. Please don’t be jealous and upset of others. It’s not their fault if people like them. Give people time to get to know you. The more you share, the more people will get to know you.

      Myself and others that I know have been personally attacked more than once for being AF. Can you believe that? I know it’s just jealously but please don’t think it‘s just the drinkers that get picked on. We have lost a lot of fantastic AF members because nasty jealous remarks have been made about their sobriety. When I first came here, I hung on the words of every long term AFer I could read about. I absorbed their advice like a sponge. But it seems advice like that is definitely not welcome by all that’s for sure. And it’s with that sense, people can’t help but question one’s sincerity about being here and wanting help. I often think, why the hell do I come back if my advise is no longer wanted. Why put myself in a position of being attacked simply for trying to help. Anyone else notice the long term AFers are dropping like flies? Don’t assume it’s because life moves on for them. Believe me, because I am in touch with some via PMs.

      So now we have threads where people need to feel "safe" to post. Is this what we have resorted ourselves to? Us vs them? This is sad.

      Are you here to get help with your alcohol consumption or not? If not, please respect the forum and find another website to socialize on. If you truly want help, then you will not find a better website or program than this one. We are here for you.

      I have been made to feel unwelcome on so many occasions that it’s not funny. But I do come back because the good here far out ways the bad.

      Just my 2 cents…

      Love, Me
      :l

    2. #2
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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      I am sorry to hear people left because they were criticized for being AF- that sucks.

    3. #3
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      Boss.man's Avatar

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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      I hadn't perceived there was so much conflict. I enjoy the comments on this site from both AF and Mod people, and those who slip and those who aren't even trying. It just gives me greater perspective.

      I know I don't read they "Army" posts. Is that where the conflict is?

    4. #4
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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      No Boss- there is no conflict there at all. Most there have already been AF for some time- others are striving- the army thread is like a big chat really, but absolutely no fights despite the name!

      I think Thankful is referring to some events that took place some months ago?

    5. #5
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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      Since I've been here there has always been conflict of one type or another, and I'll admit that when I was still drinking I was involved in making a member feel unwelcome (something I am ashamed of). But, I've learned and grown from those experiences and am a completely different person these days and I'm sure others have as well.

      To be brutally honest, the pattern is usually the same: (1) someone says something to offend someone else; (2) someone else responds back; (3) others jump in to help one side or the other; (4) someone threatens or does leave the site; (5) impassioned pleas are made for the madness to stop; (6) sooner or later repeat step 1;

      It's funny how we as a community can let one or two negative posts completely dominate the hundred other positive ones that are here. To me, those posts are not always bad... They can serve as a reminder of where I used to be and where I am at now.

    6. #6
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      hippie37's Avatar

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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      Could not agree moe AA. It seems the nature of what we see as a natural progression being in that addictive state of mind. Leave well alone that's what i say (unless of course someone makes a personal attack on ya!) Then feel the mighty wrath of my friends Spongebob and Patric Starfish.

      Love hips
      xx

    7. #7
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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      Well said AA..

    8. #8
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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      I've only been here about 3 months, and I have certainly seen a lot of conflict here, for various reasons. I don't feel as if I have ever been directly criticized for being AF, but there certainly is a feeling that one needs to tread very carefully about the AF/Mod issue.

      I do think there is, for some, quite a bit of discomfort being on a site that aims to accommodate both goals (AF and moderate drinking). Sometimes I find it a bit mind-boggling. This is the primary place I come for support with my alcohol problem, and I came here because I was and am totally convinced that my use of alcohol was potentially fatal, and certainly very self-destructive. Yet I am spending time around people who consider alcohol a good thing, something they value enough that they risk a lot to attain "moderate" drinking. I guess it is the difference in values that bothers me the most. I think of alcohol as something that amounts to poison for people who are problem drinkers; but many people here see it in an entirely different way. I know that if I were to allow myself to think about alcohol as something to be enjoyed, something to look forward to, something that enhances life, something harmless in reasonable quantities.... then I would be going down a very, very dangerous path.

      Yet this whole MWO program was created to permit moderate drinking. That's how it is advertised. People come here hoping and expecting that MWO will somehow enable them to become moderate drinkers. From what I have seen, not a whole lot of us arrive at MWO already convinced that AF is the only realistic choice, and ready to make that choice. And it seems as if my own viable option other than MWO, if I want group support for this problem (and I believe group support is essential to long-term recovery) is AA. And my disagreements with AA are just about as major as my disagreements with some of the things that go on here.

      Finally, I don't know if what I am saying is at all related to what you were bringing up in this thread, Thankful, but I will close by agreeing with you in this: I have found that the positive far outweighs the negative, here. I've gotten a lot of help and encouragement, and found some people I now consider friends. I'm grateful.

      wip

    9. #9
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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      I think you have to take from MWO what you need..And also give what you can..
      There is such a diverse array of people here, it is impossible to keep everybody happy..Rich, Poor, Married , Single, AF, MODS, Male,Female, Different religions, cultures and continents...Not to mention values..

      But still one thing in commen that brings us here...That alone SHOULD in my opinion...Should at the end of the day allow for a bit of understanding..Its probely the only thing in commen we all have..

    10. #10
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      Chief's Avatar

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      Drinking and posting OR Just posting responsibly..hmm

      Nice post, Thankful.....I agree....

      Don

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