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  1. #1
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    12th November, 2007.
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    218.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child... she is 14 months sober and 1 month out of rehab...until today she has been OK but she has no friends or family except me...we live in a new city far away from "home". She likes it here BUT, she has no friends...I don't know how to help her....she is in independent study to complete High School and her part-time job doesn't start for 2 weeks.

    Until now we were OK...kept busy with "new city" stuff etc. but what do you say when your smart, healthy, strong, child say's, "I wish I had a friend"

    Suggestions of a drive or walking the dogs are met with " I don't want to see everyone getting ready for a fun Sat. Night" We explored what a great Saturday night would be for her and she has no Idea, it used to be get very drunk...then it was life at the rehab for teens that she loved and prospered at and now she is gratefully sober in a new place and friendless...any thoughts or opinions are so welcomed...

    Part of me thinks this just has to be borne and then around the corner something will happen to bring all sorts of people into her life. I guess I just needed to vent.... my heart is breaking for her...she has come so far and she needs peers
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    I would love to live / Like a river flows / Carried by the surprise / Of its own unfolding.

  2. #2
    Registered User. LookingToGrow's Avatar

    Join Date;
    7th July, 2008.
    Posts;
    7,255.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    Hey Fresh Hope! You may want to try family members affected by drinking for more support. Hope this helps...

  3. #3
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    6th April, 2009.
    Posts;
    84.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    How does she feel about attending AA or alateen? I, myself, have never had a desire to attend a meeting, but there are people I know who attend, and they always make new friends. One of the local AA chapters in my area has al/drug free outings, bbqs, beach trips, etc. (As I just typed those sentences, I thought maybe I should take my own advice. )

    Your daughter is a VERY brave & smart girl for going through rehab. She is so lucky to have your support. She may need a little time to find her "way" in the new environment. It's difficult being 19 as it is, still trying to figure out the world. Does she like to read? maybe there's a local book club she might enjoy. If there are "coffee houses" nearby, maybe they offer different activities, such as live entertainment in an alcohol-free environment.

    Sending hugs and well wishes! :l

  4. #4
    Registered User. Draggy's Avatar

    Join Date;
    12th July, 2008.
    Posts;
    1,451.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    fresh, my heart goes out to you and your daughter. are there any youth clubs, youth support clubs etc. in your area that she could join?

  5. #5
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    23rd April, 2008.
    Posts;
    4,410.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    She only has 2 weeks until she starts a new job....how about go to church, the movies, the park, the library, the mall. It takes time to meet new friends. Play online for two weeks. I pass a lot of time here...

  6. #6
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    15th September, 2007.
    Posts;
    2,557.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    Wow, Fresh Hope she has come so far for one so young- I wish I had got my life in gear when I was that age. I didn't even know I had a drink problem then....(although I did).

    Are there any clubs she could join that don't involve drinking? It must be sooo hard at that age- most people are just starting out on their drinking 'careers'- she is trying to end hers.

    Perhaps something where the participants are completely involved in health pursuits? A judo club, or a Yoga class where she will only meet health conscious people?

    Maybe there is a local community center where you could fine out what is going on for young people in the area that is unlikely to involve drink or drugs?

    I guess where I grew up there were probably lots of places to go that didn't involve drinking/drugging, I just never found them.

    What about here coming on here and starting her own thread? it might keep the boredome at bay somewhat and there are probably lots of younger people who drop by but don't post because most of use could be their parents/grandparents :=O

    Good to have you here by the way!

  7. #7
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    15th September, 2007.
    Posts;
    2,557.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    I have just seen you have been here for a while- so no need for the welcome!

    I just must have missed you.

    Best of luck to you both- please keep us updated.

  8. #8
    Registered User. rubywillow's Avatar

    Join Date;
    14th August, 2008.
    Posts;
    19,012.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    My neice went through rehab this year, and is still struggling to find her place. Her dad died a few months ago, and she had to make some big changes. She's older than you daughter, has a great job, had an apartment in Atlanta and a full social life. She's moved back with her mom now, to get things together. Changing their friends is SO hard for them. I wish you the best.

  9. #9
    Registered User. gyco's Avatar

    Join Date;
    13th June, 2008.
    Posts;
    6,202.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    hope is a good name,for you, 1 month,and 14 months sober she knows wht she has to due,speciallyif she was in rehab,she knows the people around her dont feel the pain,she feels,it is a never ending story, it rips yur soul from you,nless your like us,you dont no,sad,but i will saay it,again,she knows the answer,dont hang your h ead in shame,hold it up,and you face society ,one day at a time,nothing more,nothing less,my dear i wish you well,gyco

  10. #10
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    13th April, 2008.
    Posts;
    508.

    I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

    All the suggestions are great....AA, NA, church, coffee houses. Getting out and meeting people is so hard. I cannot imagine getting sober at that age but wish I had. She is lucky to have a parent to just be there...the most important part of a relationship.

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