Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 19 of 19
  1. #11
    Registered User. puddytat's Avatar

    Join Date;
    4th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    257.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    depends on the individual

    Colbe, it can be one or the other. For me: depression absolutely, unequivocally came first. From early childhood on:
    [*]When I was 17, the lights came on at the first sip of alcohol. A beautiful, warm, incandescent light that felt like a glow I'd never before experienced. And an easy way of being in the world of people.When I was 26, the lights really came on after taking Zoloft (an SSRI) This time, it was like Super Bright STADIUM LIGHTS! I could function for the first time; think clearly, connect a little with others, make tracks in my career... and for the first time I felt hope.
    (Granted, I agree that SSRI anti-depressant drugs are WAY over prescribed. But they are a lifesaver for those of us with the true organic disorder. SSRIs are selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors: it only works if your serotonin is being 're-uptaken'! It fixes a broken 'gate' or 'valve'. If you don't have the problem (i.e. a broken 'gate' or 'valve') -- well, you won't feel the effect.)

    Clinically depressed people turn to something: maybe alcohol, maybe other drugs, maybe (very often!) fundametalist rigid religiosity. (I learned this when I worked at Eli Lilly -- the pharmaceutical company that invented of Prozac, the 1st SSRI: extreme, rigid religiosity is the first defense
    against depression. )
    And I believe it.. from what I've seen in my own family.)

    Anyway, that's my 2-cents :cents

  2. #12
    Registered User. colbe's Avatar

    Join Date;
    28th May, 2009.
    Posts;
    310.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    puddytat;727083 wrote: Colbe, it can be one or the other. For me: depression absolutely, unequivocally came first. From early childhood on:[*]When I was 17, the lights came on at the first sip of alcohol. A beautiful, warm, incandescent light that felt like a glow I'd never before experienced. And an easy way of being in the world of people.When I was 26, the lights really came on after taking Zoloft (an SSRI) This time, it was like Super Bright STADIUM LIGHTS! I could function for the first time; think clearly, connect a little with others, make tracks in my career... and for the first time I felt hope.(Granted, I agree that SSRI anti-depressant drugs are WAY over prescribed. But they are a lifesaver for those of us with the true organic disorder. SSRIs are selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors: it only works if your serotonin is being 're-uptaken'! It fixes a broken 'gate' or 'valve'. If you don't have the problem (i.e. a broken 'gate' or 'valve') -- well, you won't feel the effect.)

    Clinically depressed people turn to something: maybe alcohol, maybe other drugs, maybe (very often!) fundametalist rigid religiosity. (I learned this when I worked at Eli Lilly -- the pharmaceutical company that invented of Prozac, the 1st SSRI: extreme, rigid religiosity is the first defense
    against depression. )
    And I believe it.. from what I've seen in my own family.)

    Anyway, that's my 2-cents :cents
    BUT HOW DO YOU QUIT WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE ENDING?!

  3. #13
    Registered User. puddytat's Avatar

    Join Date;
    4th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    257.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    I don't know, Colbe, hun. I really, really don't know. I'm not making it. But, hey, lost 5 lbs of weight last month!! Have gotten many compliments. the reason? Couldn't keep food down while drinking heavily. SO, gotta get my ass in gear (per trlgs) Or END IT, which is what I pray for (but have people counting on me to stay alive. ... which is why I'm still here.)

    Colbe, Stay around for your daughter. she'll be an adult in the blink of an eye (5-6 yrs, right?) and your BF. please?

  4. #14
    Registered User. sunshine_gg's Avatar

    Join Date;
    2nd November, 2008.
    Location;
    Canada.
    Posts;
    6,361.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    Whoa ladies... back up here.

    Colbe... hon... you have every right to be depressed right now.. you're having an AWFUL hand dealt to you. ANYONE would be depressed and feel like crap. Alkie, normie, sane, eccentric, ANYONE. Putting AL into an emotionally charged situation is nasty business and you know that. Have you tried putting your thoughts on paper? If you feel like you can't dump on hubby anymore, can you at least put it down for yourself? It may sound silly, but I OFTEN write down how I feel and what I'm thinking. Getting it onto paper (screen) and off my chest is one benefit. Being able to LOOK at it once it's written down (saved), perhaps take a step back and look at it again and then put it in perspective, is a HUGE benefit. Other than that... pester the hell out of the help lines... at least for right now. Or call me (still got my number?).

    Now, PUDDY!
    What's going on with you? Please PM me anytime if I can help in any way! You don't sound good and there's GOT TO BE a better way!

    Big :l to both of you.

  5. #15
    Registered User. reneesmiles's Avatar

    Join Date;
    26th August, 2009.
    Posts;
    101.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    Colbe I can't say I am AF or cured at all. But I can say that I won't stop fighting for me or my children. You know that next morning feeling? Right? You're an alcoholic so you must. That "I fucked up again and again and again and I am just a freakin' failure and should just put a gun to my head" feeling? Well I really try to start each day fresh.... like yesterday never happened. (Okay so I know it did happen and I drank when I didn't want to because I have a neurobiological disease that won't let up....) I just try to take it day by day and KNOW that I am doing the very BEST I can right now. I know I hide things, I know I am not the most respectable person on the planet.... I know I feel like a piece of shit. But I also KNOW that I don't want this. If someone could give me medication like they do for other diseases that have CURES, I would take it in a minute. I have to remind myself that I am not a bad person. I have an illness.... an impulse control issue that needs attending to. And that there IS hope. Naltrexone, or Vivitrol (in injection form), or any other anti-craving medications ARE out there.

    I spent $6500 for a treatment program that I am in. It's not working the way I want it to. But it IS helping. Not everyone has that type of money. But there are lots of resources on here (look at The Sinclair Method), and just know that you are not alone and so many of us feel the same way you do. I swear, I've asked myself WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???? a thousand times.

    What is wrong with me is I have a Neurobiological disease that is totally resistant to most interverntions. So... I must explore.... keep an open mind... and most importantly, love myself through this. I am NOT a bad person. I am NOT a fuck up. There is something going on in my brain that I cannot control. Period.

    Give yourself a break and give yourself a hug. You are doing the very best you can. Don't ever give up, because then you become one of those freakin' statistics, and you are more than a statistic. You are just a human being struggling like the rest of us.

    Many Blessings,
    Renee

  6. #16
    Registered User. startingover's Avatar

    Join Date;
    16th July, 2008.
    Posts;
    29,900.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    brittzak;727055 wrote: Colbe,
    I was depressed and drinking made it 1000's worse. You can't take medication for it if you are drinking. It is kinda like chasing your tail....you go in little circles. You drink to make thedepression go away, but the alcohol makes the depression so much worse. You have to get enough AF days to see clearly. I KNOW easier said than done. Keep trying...
    Colbe, this was me too. Exactly...

  7. #17
    Registered User. colbe's Avatar

    Join Date;
    28th May, 2009.
    Posts;
    310.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    I think maybe I need to try to make another call today...it's almost 6am, maybe the lines are openn now without getting the runaround. I still feel like shit...not hungover or anything just that worthless feeling. I know about the losing weight because of too much drinking...cool in a way, but I have been doing a good job (well, better) of eating and it does help me not drink.

    I wish I could just sleep all day...all week or even year. I am so grouchy all the time I don't even want to be around anyone. I did try that Vivitrol when I was in Detox...it didn't do anything for me, but (I forget who said this) but I think you have to take it more than one month and I certainly don't have that money.

    In our argument last night (I knew this was coming) he said well, since you are not working, why don't you do my laundry or put the dishes up...he does not understand that I am so depressed, I am proud just to get up and use the bathroom. As far as the dishes go...his ass of a buddy is staying with us and his girlfriend (OH is that ending soon...they are two immature annoying drama queens), anyway, they are all carnivours and last night destroyed the kitchen by making fried chicken. The smell even out side the house smelled like a friggin Burger King which just repulses me. And you want me to do what? You clean the damn kitchen. I clean up after myself, not the frat house buddies of yours. Sorry for the rampage.

    Here is the beginning of a perfectly good day in hell. I suspect I will be around all day...thanks guys.

  8. #18
    Registered User. rubywillow's Avatar

    Join Date;
    14th August, 2008.
    Posts;
    19,012.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    Colbe, I could MAYBE understand your guy wondering why you don't do things during the day to help the two of you, since he obviously doesn't undersstand depression (Hubs didn't either). But take care of two inconsiderate leeches!?!!? I think not. I don't know your living situation, but if you and he are on equal terms living there, then you have the right to lay down some ground rules, including making the kitchen off-limits if you want unless they clean up the mess. Right away! Your situation is complicated, it sounds like, but you are making such an effort to work on AL, and that WILL have an effect on your depression, but like anti-depressants, it takes a few weeks. We're pulling for you, hon.

  9. #19
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    16th December, 2007.
    Posts;
    530.
    Post Thanks / Like

    AL because of Depression, or the other way around?

    rubywillow;727066 wrote: AL IS a depressant. Not while you're drinking, at first, but all of us know the weeps, the old emotions, the black-out phone calls or text messages, etc. It frees up our tongues to believe we can really communicate our pain, while it is really causing most of it. It took me several years and several different depressants and therapy to get a grip on these facts, for me. And my hangover depression was THE worst, when I was still dealing with all my problems and the chemical imbalances in my body. It's not til we begin to get our system clean, and our mind, that we begin to really see the goal, and the truth. I'm sorry for your situation, and can only imagine what each day is like for you. It is important, however, to realize that there is always hope for a better tomorrow. How can I help you in your struggle?
    Rubes
    Tell me about it! I sometimes wonder if I would be depressed if I could stop drinking. I think I probably would be since over the last few years, life situations propelled me to drink even more to drown an already existing depression, but the alcohol definitely fueled and fed the depression.

    Anyway, day two... I hate this "itching for a drink" feeling. I so do not want to do any drugs for my alcoholism or depression. Just another financial racket that I'm not getting sucked into.

    Besides, I tried the kudzu and a couple of other things when I first joined here, and none of them worked. My doctor put me on one of the "big guns" and even it didn't work.

Similar Threads

  1. depression
    By Chillgirl in forum Holistic Healing
    Replies: 98
    Last Post: September 21st, 2016, 05:44 PM
  2. Why my depression gone?
    By dixon in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: May 11th, 2013, 06:38 PM
  3. Depression
    By Slaythefear in forum Just Starting Out?
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: December 6th, 2012, 11:28 AM
  4. Depression
    By Arial in forum Monthly Abstinence
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: March 6th, 2009, 10:09 AM
  5. depression
    By Bebop in forum Just Starting Out?
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: February 1st, 2007, 07:48 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •