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  1. #1
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    EPIPHANY? Thoughts on Sunday

    Hello friends-

    Back from Chicago work trip, and it was very interesting being in familiar surroundings with familiar coworkers and being the only non drinker. I liked it. I was pretty much a loner, and that is OK with me. The last night, Thursday night, management took everyone to dinner after a hard week. I ate and left and a bunch of them left the restaurant and came back to our hotel and hung out at the hotel bar. In times past I would have been there and half-dead Friday morning.

    ALSO-I realized something. A friend from work came over a few weeks ago to play guitar. I had heard he was good and he is very good. It was also common knowledge that he used to go out for beers and had quit. I was never sure if he quit because he has a problem with it or what. This has been the situation for a couple of years. There was a bar near his place that I had heard he went to after work every day for beer.He did make a comment once that he quit because his bar tab was ridiculous.
    NOW it seems that he has started again. The big point here is that when it became clear to me that he in fact was drinking again-I immediately thought "GOOD-we can drink beer and play music." It didn't take long for me to go WHOA-WHAT?
    Just goes to show that the drinking thoughts are almost automatic.

    AND yesterday I realized something about my thinking. I have been thinking of ...not sure how to word this-
    Just looking ahead at "when this happens" "when that happens" I will be happy. Sorry to be so vague--what I realized was that I had veered from living in the moment and making each day a good one. I was focusing on future possible achievements and losing sight of the here and now.
    Can't really explain it-but it occurred to me that I can make each day fun and do what I want to do without worries about what is coming ahead. I knew this but somehow had been in a mode of not living it.

    ANYHOOO-tomorrow is 5 months and I could not be happier. Thanks as usual to all of you for being here!

  2. #2
    Forum Subscriber. Byrdlady's Avatar

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    EPIPHANY? Thoughts on Sunday

    It sounds like you are in a really good place, Ann.

    When I was in a depths of this addiction, all I could think about was having enough booze so I wouldn't run out. That's about as far into the future as I could look. How sad. Your mind is adjusting to your new lifestyle....to say that it's a journey of self discovery is the understatement of the year. I'd have never imagined how much I would learn about myself. It has been nice getting to know me....the real me, not the obsessed, lying, scheming me. I bet your self esteem is building, too, every sober day you add. The things that seemed so important then just aren't now. My priorities have shifted. I enjoy every sober breath I take....I am enjoying this new life! Sounds like you are, too. We that get trapped in addiction get stuck in a time warp....we don't move forward at all. It takes a lot of hootspa to stick your leg out and get off the ride, but isn't it worth it!!?

    Well done getting thru your business meeting and your music triggers. You have crossed a couple of major hurdles, and you should be very proud. 5 months is a huge accomplishment! Did you ever think you'd be able to rack up that kind of time?! Living the dream!!! Rinse and Repeat, young lady!! Whatever you are doing is working! XXOO, Byrdie

  3. #3
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    EPIPHANY? Thoughts on Sunday

    Glad to hear the world is opening up for you Ann!

    We all deserve the freedom to think, feel & dream whatever we want. Keeping AL out of our lives is a must. CONGRATS on your 5 AF months!!!!

    Lav

  4. #4
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    EPIPHANY? Thoughts on Sunday

    Congrats on your five months Ann.

    Is it possible to talk with this man? Perhaps he has struggled alone and would value your company on this journey.

  5. #5
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    EPIPHANY? Thoughts on Sunday

    Hi Kuya

    I think that would be presumptuous of me. We are not big pals and it's really none of my business.

  6. #6
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    EPIPHANY? Thoughts on Sunday

    Ann Carolina;1507821 wrote: I think that would be presumptuous of me. We are not big pals and it's really none of my business.
    Oh sorry.....you referred to him as 'a friend from work', so I assumed he was a friend.

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