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    1. #1
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      NotHappyHourHappyLife's Avatar

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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      How do you protect your quit?
      What do you do to protect your Alcohol Free Days?

    2. #2
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      Hi NHHHL,

      Shortly after I quit, I was pretty scared about going back to where I came from. I still try to maintain a healthy memory of that time. I was worried that the good things that were starting to come my way were going to get pulled out from under me. This was like a crossroads for me. The fear was keeping me from really investing myself in an AF life. I think there is a point where we go from "not drinking" to "living AF." For me, I had to invest myself in building a new AF life, the one I used to fantasize about while I was drinking. I believed that I had to up the ante and really put it on the line. If we invest in AF life, I think it makes it harder to throw it away. Fear of losing it was one of my hang ups for investing. That doesn't make any sense, but neither does alcoholism!!!

    3. #3
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      At my last quit I simply decided that I didn't want to drink anymore. It took me over four years of hanging out on this site and living life, mostly with alcohol, to come to that realization. The list of tasks linked in my signature line helped me realize that you don't just quit, you change your life. My new life is much better. I am grateful to God for giving me this insight.

    4. #4
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      I have felt very healthy the last 4 months, but the farther I get away from drinking, it seems like the horrid memories are gone, and I look back "fondly" to the good drinking times. I remember the happy campfires and laughter and casually drinking as reality, versus remembering the blackouts/pounding head aches.

      Then, I think, "I over-reacted".... I can moderate. I can drink one or two...

      A slippery slope.

    5. #5
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      Hi Patty, I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. Really just posting to acknowledge your question, and perhaps bump it so some others might see it and respond. And thanks again for your kind post in my thread.

      Best,
      Pie

    6. #6
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      Hi, Happy

      Once I got it through my head that I was no better or stronger or more in control than anyone else with this problem, I decided to quit trying to figure out everything on my own, do what the successful people are doing, and be willing to learn from the mistakes that others were generous enough to be willing to share. Here is a compilation of several of those stories: http://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ect-78410.html. Checking in on MWO every day, including in the Newbies Nest, reminds me of where I've been and where I never want to be again. I don't particularly remember drinking too fondly but I do recall the numbness which was my goal. I also don't truly feel the really awful parts very much anymore so I force myself to remember and recount some of it when I'm writing a post trying to help someone. I still don't feel how bad it was but I make the effort to keep at least the facts of what was going on in mind.

      If it was as good as you're now thinking it was, you wouldn't be here.

      All the best, NS

    7. #7
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      How to protect the quit?

      I think that what works for me is being grateful for being sober. The longer I stay AF the less I think about alcohol. When I do think about it, I remind myself how miserable my life was when I was deep in. If I think about having a drink, I play the whole flow of the evening in my head and then I just say to myself :?WTF, I don?t do this anymore. I love myself and I am WAY stronger than any poison liquid in a bottle?.

      I think that playing the ?well known movie? in my head really helps if a craving occurs. It puts me back in proportion and the knowledge that this ONE DRINK will send me back to hell.

      I posted a thread ?ONE DRINK?. I was at day 120 and relapsed. Simply walked into a liquor store and bought a bottle without giving it any thought. It was hell and I went back to square one in a day. Took about a whole month to restart the quit. It was agonizing.

      I think that it takes time to accept and get the realization that absolutely NO ALCOHOL is the only way to go. I don?t know if I am there yet fully. I?de like to believe I am. Each of us has different processing time and acceptance points. For some it takes days for other years so it?s tough to pin point. If this was a cancer survival forum I am sure that all of us would agree that we will protect our health with our lives. That?s how we should ?handle? alcohol. We are here because we realized we have a problem with AL . We are here to help and support each other rid this painful problem.

      I wish you (and us all) the straight to protect sober living and relearn to enjoy our lives and have fun as we were kids without having to use and abuse any substance..

    8. #8
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      Hey!
      This is a subject upon which I am very passionate! What you are experiencing is called Euphoric Recall. You are remembering the good things and not the reasons that drove you to a site for alcoholism. This is natural for the human brain to do this. I guess it is a coping mechanism. We can see folks casually sipping wine next to the lazy river and long for those days. Truth is, that's not how I drank. I drank in desperate gulps from a hidden box in my closet. Nothing romantic about that. I nearly ruined a 26 year marriage...not much sexy about that. I spent my days either recovering from, or plotting to drink. No thanks. I feel normal now and normal is fantastic.

      Here is a post from Mollyka on the subject. It was such a well-written post that I saved it. She says it all here, I hope it helps you, too.

      Well - do I dare to venture here -- oh hell, it's 'general discussion' - so here's my tuppence worth.
      Most of us (certainly a lot of us, myself included) were able to 'control' our drinking for varying periods of time - and that can fool us into thinking 'I'm ok, I've cracked this' -- but it's the 'cunning and baffling' ingredient of our illness -- by 'our' illness I mean problem drinking/alcoholism --- either-or!
      When I was in rehab - my counsellor --- a very open minded recovering alcoholic himself told me this was very common - but in his opinion and experience (35 yrs in counselling) -- 95% of problem drinkers/alcoholics will inevitably revert to their worst drinking and worse again -- I asked him in true addict fashion 'what about the other 5%?' - he just sighed and said 'most of them lie' -- it was a serious wake up call to me - because like you I had a very prolonged period of 'acceptable' drinking -- and here I go -- moderation (long term) doesn't work - again - IMO!!! The damage that we may no longer be incurring to our physical health is still being done to our mental emotional health - in spades!

      It's wonderful that you are back - and it CAN be wonderful if your recent experience can be your proof positive that drinking will inevitably only ever ever ever go in one direction -- that's one of the main components that keeps me sober --- (as well as the fact that I truly love sober living now -- genuinely!) --- I KNOW I could drink 1-2 glasses of wine today --- I KNOW that I may or may not have anymore till next weekend and repeat --- but also KNOW -- that somewhere down the road - maybe in a week, a month, a year even - that the booze will weaken me -- it will break my spirit - I won't even know it's happening --- and that's the scary part - until it's too bloody late and I'm back in the grip of this horrible horrible illness.

      Finally - even when you say about your trip home and worry a bit about the lovely wine and people etc. --- wouldn't it be lovely for that thought to never even enter your head --- cos it's irrelevant?? That's how you can be with a decent spell of sobriety -- the 'will I, won't I?' --- it all goes away -- it doesn't take up my headspace -- it's just GONE ---- as long as I know that I will never pick up a drink...... simple as!!!! And not picking up a drink becomes a 'nothing' thing -- it's not a punishment --- it's not a 'do without' thing --- it's NOTHING --- it's.........just........gone
      __________________

    9. #9
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      Byrdlady;1677248 wrote: Hey!
      No thanks. I feel normal now and normal is fantastic.

      And not picking up a drink becomes a 'nothing' thing -- it's not a punishment
      --- it's not a 'do without' thing --- it's NOTHING --- it's.........just........gone
      __________________
      This is one holiday where it seems as if "all of America is celebrating"... and in my alcoholic induced way of thinking, celebration = alcohol. You are right, Byrdie, that it's a euphoria thing to consider. Thank you for that advice. And you are right. It's not that I'm punishing myself by not drinking, I'm protecting my soul to be a better person.

      I was out of town on business this week, and it was the first time that I ordered "water for now" instead of beer. Actually, the other two guys were glad I wasn't drinking, because they now had a Designated Driver. Yet I looked over and saw a lady, eating her dinner and sipping her wine. I was wistful, and part of me wished it was me.

      To protect my quit... I think of my Grandaughter. She is now a little Toddler and absolutely a bundle of curious energy, just like her mother was at that age. :l I do NOT want to be the Grandma that left her drink laying around, only to be mortified that this little joy just was poisoned by her Grandma.

      I saw the movie last night "Tammy" with Melissa McCarthy and Susan Sarandon... without being a spoiler alert, Susan Sarandon is the drunk Grandma. I do not want that to be me.

      I must protect my quit.

    10. #10
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      How Do You Protect Your QUIT?

      NotHappyHourHappyLife;1677144 wrote: I have felt very healthy the last 4 months, but the farther I get away from drinking, it seems like the horrid memories are gone, and I look back "fondly" to the good drinking times. I remember the happy campfires and laughter and casually drinking as reality, versus remembering the blackouts/pounding head aches.

      Then, I think, "I over-reacted".... I can moderate. I can drink one or two...

      A slippery slope.
      I heard someone at an AA meeting recently say something to effect of "with the return of health also returns the monster." Very true. After the misery of my last detox, I swore I'd never drink again. Post-detox and feeling pretty good and back on the anti-craving meds, I have to admit drinking thoughts, no matter how fleeting, did return. My AA sponsor said it best when he advised me against making pronouncements and just taking it day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute.

      As far as protecting my current quit, I really don't have a choice. I'm in intensive outpatient group therapy three days a week and we are tested randomly. The latest urine test can detect ethyl glucuronide, a metabolite of alcohol, anywhere from 80 hours to 5 days after a binge. The way the sessions are spaced throughout the week, the chances of getting caught after a binge are pretty good, and I don't want to get kicked out of the program.

      Luckyflower wrote:
      I was at day 120 and relapsed. Simply walked into a liquor store and bought a bottle without giving it any thought. It was hell and I went back to square one in a day. Took about a whole month to restart the quit. It was agonizing.
      My last relapse started exactly the same way. Cunning, baffling, powerful…

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