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  1. #15781
    Registered User. Quit wining's Avatar

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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    Another 24 hours please & thank you.

    Big Al, Techie is spot on in recommending using positive words to describe yourself and how you feel. The mind is very powerful and a positive attitude can help us feel better about ourselves. We know from experience that beating ourselves up only makes things worse, not better.
    I’m glad you’re here Big Al, you make the Cafe a better place!

    That’s a great quote from Cowboy, thanks for sharing Dill.

    We’re meeting with a new financial service provider this morning. After the lousy service provided by our bank of 45 years, it’ll be interesting to see if this banks advertising is true! And maybe it’s a sign of the times, but last week I sent a detailed outline of what we’re looking for in a new bank and received no response. I’ve found in a few situations that people are, or think they are, too busy to reply. We’ll see how things go this morning. Thinking positive thoughts!

    Have a great af Wednesday everyone!

    QW
    AF since 26-02-19 NF since 04-83
    F*ck PD, cancer & covid-19

    24/7/365

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  3. #15782
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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    Good morning Cafe friends and Great ABC quotes. Regarding the struggle (it ain’t easy folks) to gain our sobriety, daily gratitude is extremely important. Recognizing the small steps we take is huge. However, I feel acceptance is key. Acceptance is about acknowledging and come to terms with the reality of a given situation. It is important to understand that accepting something does not imply that one agrees with or is happy about it. You can dislike situations and still accept them. Finding ways to accept those things that are beyond your control to change provides freedom from having to fight against the realities you find disagreeable, uncomfortable, or painful.

    I also realize how powerful this thread is. Mucho kudos to you Cowboy for always keeping the welcome sign illuminated. Your supportive nature makes this forum so much better. You make each and everyone of us feel special, cared for and loved. There is never any judgment, just kind support. There is amazing power in the collective power that we all bring here daily. While we all share in life’s daily challenges, we often do it with grace and humility. For that this big lug is forever grateful to you all. Another twenty four for me. I wish you all the best day possible. Blessings x
    Last edited by techie; July 28th, 2021 at 09:50 AM. Reason: Typo

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  5. #15783
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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    24 more!

  6. #15784
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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    I thought this perfectly illustrates what I’ve been saying…

    18BFBE6E-BB1B-4430-BC69-DDB42C95B4E5.jpg
    Last edited by techie; July 28th, 2021 at 06:05 PM.

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  8. #15785
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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    Good evening Cafe Friends. Well, today was......better. I am really critically thinking through the magnificent advice that is one of the jewels of this thread. I have never been one to really think about or internalize the precepts of positive thinking. I am just so black and white that I seem to be either on or off. It either is or it isn't. I have never let myself consider the fact that how I think about myself, the little things, the passing synapse, can contribute to real course change. But I am now, or at least I am become more aware and trying. Also, I have strung enough sober days together now that the fog is starting to clear which makes it easier to be increasingly more self aware.

    I have seen a therapist a number of times now. She is an addiction specialist, but I just don't feel like she is penetrating (not the right word, but I can't think of a better one). She says the right things, but she just doesn't quite seem to "see" the twists and turns of my mind that render many of her approaches unremarkable. But, I live in a small rural town and there are not many to choose from, and I don't know if I have the time available for a drive each time. Funny enough, as I typed that I thought to myself that I had plenty of time to drink, but not enough to see a therapist? I don't know, the jury is still out as to whether or not it is the path for me. I have also thought about some type of low level anti-depressant. It may be viable, but my knee jerk is to not turn to medication. But, If I can't make this quit stick I may try. What I WANT is to gain clarity, to gain self love, to gain that peace, to gain that knowledge that cowboy points to in the quote in an earlier post. I want to do it without drugs if I can.

    Techie, I love the graphic. Again, I would never have even let myself see that for what it was, like the kitten hanging on a stick picture that you see on the back wall of the conference room at work, my eyes would have passed right over it. But I SEE it now. I just need to apply it. For that, and for the thoughts and love in this thread I am so very grateful. To everyone. And yes, I am a serial reader as well. Have been since I was just a wee lad. I grew up out in the boondocks and we had two channels on our TV, one was home shopping, and the other was PBS. I did enjoy PBS, but what my family did was read. I am a little bit disappointed that I will finish my current book this evening. I have enjoyed it and don't want it to end.

    Goodnight everyone, I am looking forward to another sober day tomorrow. So 24 more for me please and thanks.

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  10. #15786
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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    What a great and insightful post @BigAl! The more time that you spend away from alcohol, and the depression that goes with it, will surely boots your spirits. I too, was seeing a therapist who was supposedly an addiction specialist, but I don't think that he really understood what I was going through. Have you looked into trying to find a therapist online? That would greatly increase your chances of finding one that would be a better fit for you.

    Well, I spent most of yesterday in the ER with a friend who had cut her leg quite badly. As we waited to be seen, I watched the incoming flow of people that needed help. There was a variety of injuries and illness, but I also saw several cases of what appeared to be caused by alcohol poisoning or drug overdose. It was truly an eye-opening experience, as that could have been me not that long ago. I'm so very grateful to be sober.

    I'll take another 24 hours of bliss please and thank you!

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  12. #15787
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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    Good morning Cafe. Big Al, love your post and your honesty. I also love the idea of a possible online therapist. There are so many of them and each may give different advice. Its important to find one that fits your needs. Techie, Loved your cartoon. Good message for sure! Hope everyone has a great day. Another 24 for me please and thank you.

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  14. #15788
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    5:28am in Alberta, 24 more please, and thanks...

    In the last 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of wellness:
    @Jude58 @Rava @dill @Quit wining @techie @ginge999 @BigAl abcowboy

    Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!
    Quitting and staying quit isnít easy, itís learning a whole new way of thinking. Itís accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
    Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
    Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

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  16. #15789
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    Geez, that was a while back when I said that @dill, but it remains true even today.

    I didn't know what being sober would do for me because it had been so long since I had been sober that I couldn't see how much different life would be without drinking. I know that I had many attempts at trying to quit, but because not drinking didn't seem to miraculously make everything better overnight, I figured I may as well be drinking. And I don't think I was alone with that thinking. I've been around recovery forums for a long time now and have listened to many, many people say the same thing. Of course being sober doesn't solve all our problems overnight, and there are some problems that being sober can't solve. But you can't give up on sobriety just because it didn't create miracles in your life overnight. I had to give it time, stay sober long enough to realize that only some of my problems disappeared, the problems that drinking created. I still face problems most everyday, but now I face and tackle them, not try to hide from them in the bottom of a bottle.

    That was a pretty long winded sermon lol, just to say that things don't get better overnight when you quit drinking. And I won't lie, I still have the rare thought that a good old drunk would help me, get me out of "life" for a few hours, and it would. But it would also bring back all those problems that drinking creates. I definitely don't need to add more problems in my life, just keep facing and tackling the ones that present themselves to me day by day, and being sober makes it much easier to solve those problems, one way or another...
    Quitting and staying quit isnít easy, itís learning a whole new way of thinking. Itís accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
    Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
    Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

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  18. #15790
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    Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

    Another 24 hours please & thank you.

    Lots of great advice and sharing of experiences lately, part of what makes the Cafe so great. We all bring our own experiences to the Cafe and while many are different, we all have one goal, to get and stay sober, and one common enemy - alcohol. There’s no doubt that together we’re stronger, even if we have to deal with al individually.

    What a refreshing change it was opening accounts with a new bank yesterday. In retrospect, I should have shopped for a new bank long ago. The advisor we dealt with was efficient, knew her stuff, and thanks to a heads up email I sent last week, knew in advance what we were looking for. She agreed with my conclusions as to selection of accounts and credit card, making the process quick and painless.
    If our old bank asks why we’re moving, I’ll point out that they are in a service business and need to focus on that, right after I tell them I want to be paid for providing my opinion! I’ve found over the years that the sign over the door doesn’t matter, it’s the people inside who make the difference. The commodity is the same - money - so what differentiates one bank from another is the service.
    I think we’re in good shape dealing with a large bank (peace of mind when travelling outside of Canada) and a small, local credit union.

    Off to do a meet n greet with a new family doctor this afternoon. She’s a recent grad and has a great bedside manner, something we’ve been missing. There are too many doctors out there with what I call the MDiety complex.

    Have a great af Thursday everyone!

    QW
    AF since 26-02-19 NF since 04-83
    F*ck PD, cancer & covid-19

    24/7/365

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