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  1. #1
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    5th June, 2007.
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    Help Please

    I posted in the Family Members a few weeks ago, and received some very helpful suggestions directly to the post and by reading numerous postings throughout the site.

    But I urgently need help from anyone who has been through DETOX please.

    In my original post I had said my dearest and best friend had said he thought he had to do detox before any other options were tried....and I wasn't sure if this was a delay tactic or he really was aware how desperately he needed help. I think I got my answer to what has been tearing me apart these last few weeks - I think he entered detox this morning. First thing this morning his time, I received email saying he thought he had lost his job, and he needed help TODAY and was calling hospital/centres (not really sure which one) and that it was a good thing...the drinking had to be stopped. A few hours I later got second email that he was told would be in hospital 3 - 5 days, and we'd talk when he could.

    I've heard nothing since.....and no emails sent have been it's with all my heart and prayers that he has gone for detox.

    What I need to know, is what will be the things he will need to do....what are the challenges he will be this will work for him. From all I've read on the site everyone is so supportive of the MWO program, and I ordered, printed and have expressed posted the book to him, so it will be there when he gets home.
    I unfortunately was not able to order the CD for him, as I'm currently seeking employment and the funds are not even available to cover my upcoming utilities.....but my hopes are when he comes home, he will read through the book and talk to I assume the physician / therapist about the supplements and meds suggested on MWO program and he will consider adding these to his daily routine as needed and approved for anything he may have been prescribed.

    I have no idea as to what he is going through, and what is yet to come....he has been very reluctant about being very open about what he has been going through on a daily basis until now....but there have been a number of things said in past few weeks, as if he has been apologizing for not being honest...and asking me to be here for him....I've promised him I always will be.....but I need to know how to help him.

    If anyone is from San Diego, and has any suggestions to agencies in that area that have sites I can read or get any information from, it would be a lifetime of thanks and appreciation given in return to you for your help.

    I wish you all the best of luck with your own challenges, and congratulate each one of you for your strength and courage wether it's been just a few hours, or a life time commitment on your choices of being AF or moderated drinking

    I'm sorry if thoughts are rambled's been a very tough weekend for us....and I couldn't imagine a day be worse than the day he dropped the bombshell he was an alcoholic....but I think today is just the first of a few more yet to come.

  2. #2
    Registered User. Breez's Avatar

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    27th November, 2006.
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    Hi nething-

    You are a true friend. From what I heard Janie is correct. The best thing to do is for him to go straight into something before that "alcoholic" mind kicks back in. Everytime I quit for awhile in the past & started to feel better, I'd convince myself that 1 drink was ok & eventually went back to my old ways.

    If you have his keys-best to clean out his place of alcohol. If you don't, accompany him home & offer to get rid of it. There is no need for any temptation. Offer to go to AA meetings if that's what he wants. You've already given him the info here & let him know that Breez invites him here with open arms. We don't bite & we offer an ear 24/7. We've all been there - done that in one way or another.

    All you can do is offer help. He has to do the rest. Here's hoping for success. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Registered User. sujul's Avatar

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    20th July, 2006.
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    Just FYI--there are also lots of excellent responses to this same thread when it was posted a little earlier on GD....

  4. #4
    Registered User. hart's Avatar

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    9th May, 2007.
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    I went thru Detox a while back, didn't need it as had no symptoms, but they thought I might as I have controlled epilepsy. It was boring as heck! My experience, you were closely monitored by health professionals. They go thru your luggage confiscating my case, books! You were only allowed to read books or see videos that were alcohol related. In my case they touted AA for all it's worth. It's a great organization, but it's not for me and I sort of resented it. They wanted to keep me longer than the 48 hours, but I refused. My work never found out about it. My insurance sucked and it cost a couple thousand to do basically nothing....but IN MY CASE that was because my doctor really urged me. You can die from alcohol withdrawal.

    So, your friend is liable to be crying a lot, bored, angry, not uncomfortable but not cozy. May participate in group therapy....I refused. No tv, no phone. I slept a lot and lost weight because I was feeling childish and wouldn't eat......

  5. #5
    Registered User. Saint Jude's Avatar

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    21st July, 2006.
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    You truly are a good friend to be here, as well as having arranged to get the book & info on this site for your friend.
    I tend to agree with Hart... detox is more of safety net, just in case of complications...which is good, because alcohol withdrawl can be dangerous. I've done it on my own own (TOO) many well as in-patient... but hopefully, that's a thing of the past.
    I think having a good friend to talk to or just walk with & spend some time with is one of the key ingredients to healing. Just knowing someone is there & cares, is worth so much...
    There's a LOT of self doubt, and self loathing that is attached with substance abuse. It can eat you up if you let it.
    Your friend is very fortunate to have you.:h
    I do hope you & your friend will join us here... if ya like.
    :l Big Hugs

    PS I've found that L-glutamine, and B vitamines, as well as Kudzu are wonderful for cravings.(Should be able to find @ any drug store) I also take Topamax(prescription rx) it makes a huge difference. Best of luck!

  6. #6
    Registered User. beatle's Avatar

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    25th May, 2007.
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    I've been in detox a number of times and it's all been said here on this thread.

    Your friend is probably not allowed to communicate via telephone or computer while in detox, so don't get worried about that. I personally think it's a dumb idea to isolate people when they are most vulnerable, but that's how they do it all over the world. I guess, as usual, they think they know best. Just like the AA people.

    Anyway, if indeed he is in detox, then he will come out physically able to do without alcohol but if he does not have a plan in place, it will be meaningless. It will only be a matter or days or weeks before he goes back to it if he lacks a very concrete plan. Everybody here with experience is saying this. They have said it better than I can, but the point is the same. No plan, no gain. No support, no gain.

    You are obviously a great friend. Can you communicate this to him? What do you need now? Let us know. We will do what we can.

  7. #7
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    5th June, 2007.
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    Thanks Beatle

    My hope is that he is in fact in detox and it's not a binge (think that's the right way of saying it) And I can completely understand how without a plan going forward, the AF days will ony be those he had no access to it. The last and only message I had from him was
    "detox is going to be a 3 - 5 day stay in hospital - and I'm very scared" I did not get nor does it appear my response was even opened, but included within it was "DUMP don't drink any booze in the apt before leaving" I quess part of my hope is that it was all drank before leaving and it won't be his first thought on his way home.....but that could very well be just the naive wishes of someone still trying to learn and understand the world of alcohol.

    I will be all means relay your message and hopefully most important get him here to see he's not alone....

    I know it's not going to be an easy journey for him- but to me seems it is a possible one....and mostly he's not alone, and those that can help him best are those that have been there done that...and learning from yours and others successes and restarts, which so often is the best way of learning anything about life.

    My intentions are to keep coming here as much as possible, even if it means alone until he can see this is where he needs to be...and I thank you for reassuring all are welcome.

    What I need now? to take the advise a few have given, to rest up and be at my best for when he gets home, hopefully this weekend - to listen - learn - and understand what it is he needs most, and to find the way to get / give it to him.

    And I hear you loud and clear about the puzzles of how so often the "professionals" seem to have determined what is best....As a single mom of 21 years of a 23 year old child with special needs, have spent countless hours in medical facilites thinking so easily said by you...but what if they actually had to put that into the reality of day to day life. The scary part of it is initially I went thinking these are the people who know best...but quickly learned without asking the Right Questions, or challenging their directions based on the reality of my life things may not have also been done the best way. As to how this applies to my concern is that he won't be open enough with those in the centre or when he leaves I'm assuming by what I've read with follow-up, that taking cover and returning what seems to have been a long time of alcohol abuse, will be the option he chooses....which I know isn't the right or best option for him.

    I wasn't expecting that he'd have access to phone or internet.....It's with all my hopes and prayers though as to why I'm not hearing from him...a few more days will answer that for me.

    Thanks again....and I know where I need to come to find the answers

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