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  1. #1
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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    Help Please

    I posted in the Family Members a few weeks ago, and received some very helpful suggestions directly to the post and by reading numerous postings throughout the site.

    But I urgently need help from anyone who has been through DETOX please.

    In my original post I had said my dearest and best friend had said he thought he had to do detox before any other options were tried....and I wasn't sure if this was a delay tactic or he really was aware how desperately he needed help. I think I got my answer to what has been tearing me apart these last few weeks - I think he entered detox this morning. First thing this morning his time, I received email saying he thought he had lost his job, and he needed help TODAY and was calling hospital/centres (not really sure which one) and that it was a good thing...the drinking had to be stopped. A few hours I later got second email that he was told would be in hospital 3 - 5 days, and we'd talk when he could.

    I've heard nothing since.....and no emails sent have been opened...so it's with all my heart and prayers that he has gone for detox.

    What I need to know, is what will be the things he will need to do....what are the challenges he will be facing...so this will work for him. From all I've read on the site everyone is so supportive of the MWO program, and I ordered, printed and have expressed posted the book to him, so it will be there when he gets home.
    I unfortunately was not able to order the CD for him, as I'm currently seeking employment and the funds are not even available to cover my upcoming utilities.....but my hopes are when he comes home, he will read through the book and talk to I assume the physician / therapist about the supplements and meds suggested on MWO program and he will consider adding these to his daily routine as needed and approved for anything he may have been prescribed.

    I have no idea as to what he is going through, and what is yet to come....he has been very reluctant about being very open about what he has been going through on a daily basis until now....but there have been a number of things said in past few weeks, as if he has been apologizing for not being honest...and asking me to be here for him....I've promised him I always will be.....but I need to know how to help him.

    If anyone is from San Diego, and has any suggestions to agencies in that area that have sites I can read or get any information from, it would be a lifetime of thanks and appreciation given in return to you for your help.

    I wish you all the best of luck with your own challenges, and congratulate each one of you for your strength and courage wether it's been just a few hours, or a life time commitment on your choices of being AF or moderated drinking

    I'm sorry if thoughts are rambled here....it's been a very tough weekend for us....and I couldn't imagine a day be worse than the day he dropped the bombshell he was an alcoholic....but I think today is just the first of a few more yet to come.

  2. #2
    Registered User. sujul's Avatar

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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    Perhaps I can help just a little--I went through a brief detox when I went to rehab last year....

    First, though, I want to say how blessed he is to have you thinking of him and trying to help him in this way...you must be a very special person....

    Okay, detox. Even though I drank a tremendous amount my detox was not too bad. What helped in a weird way was that I was put in a room with a heroin addict who was withdrawing and her pain was so much greater than mine that I was thankful for my own relatively benign situation, which this time was speed and alcohol. Eventually, the heroin addict and I became buddies in rehab and laughed a lot....


    But, my point here is that he will likely be with a few (or a lot, depending) of people that he would not necessarily encounter anywhere else. For me, this was a good thing--it reminded me that despite all my advantages I am just another common or garden alcoholic when it gets right down to it. It was humbling, to say the least.

    This means that there are issues of feeling worthless and low self-esteem. You just feel like such a loser. When I was reminded that I am indeed a worthwhile human being with a future, I was incredibly grateful--even though I didn't fully believe it, someone else did and that was very meaningful to me. (I don't know if there is a spiritual or religious component here but I also appreciated the chaplain assuring me that I was a loved and lovable child of God...but that is not always appropriate. I'm just sharing it because it was important to me--even though I was an agnostic when I went in...I wasn't when I got out!)

    So, you might acknowledge that he doesn't believe he's worthwhile at this point, but that he is and that he will come to see that in the weeks and months ahead. Of course, it all depends on the situation, the person's own self-awareness and world view--so bear that all in mind. Low self-esteem, though, is usually an enormous factor....

    During my stay in rehab I was given a sedative called Seroquel which helped a lot--it's not a long term type of thing though. Just temporary while I physically dealt with no alcohol in my system. Even with the Seroquel, though, I was sort of bouncing of the walls--I couldn't stop talking, I was VERY emotional and my mood swings were fairly dramatic.

    I was also started on Campral, which helped me deal with the "craving" part of staying alcohol free--the wanting a drink so bad that you don't care that you're messing up all the work you've done to quit.... For me, it worked--I took it for about six months, until I was more used to being without alcohol.

    Another thing I had to deal with was establishing a different daily routine. I was so used to spending much of my time drinking and doing drugs that I had to find something else to do! (Actually, this is one of the benefits of AA--it gives you something to do in the time you would previously have been drinking.... Lots of people hate it, though, and I didn't go--I came on this site instead! I would sit for hours at my computer with my new drink of choice-sugar-free Fuze....I followed many of the suggestions on this site (not all) also began attending all the classes I was used to skipping and I volunteered for a few things as well....

    I mentioned a sugar free drink--not eating sugar also helped me. The thing is the alcoholics crave sugar when they don't have alcohol because alcohol metabolizes as sugar in the system. So, not having sugar is a good idea because it just replaces alcohol--and eventually the body is going to demand the "sugar" it really wants--alcohol! Also eating a basically healthy diet--the usual stuff like veggies, fruits and so on. Junk food only makes matters worse....

    I also made a decision not to go to social events where there was a lot of drinking....it's not so difficult now but to begin with I just wanted to be careful.

    That's what I can think of for now--the biggies then are support and having someone believe in you, dealing with low self-esteem, developing a new routine, eating healthily (no sugar), vites and supplements and if medication is prescribed then make sure you take it as directed.

    And MWO, of course!!

    These are things that were important to me, helped me and led to my being able to stay abstinent for now more than 14 months. Everyone is different and not all the things that worked for me will work for someone else--and someone else will likely have different needs....so I offer this only as a glimpse of my journey...Just use what is appropriate--basically, caring support is what he needs the most--but some of these other things can turn caring support into real, practical help.

    Again, bless you for helping him out like this--he is extremely lucky! One last word, however: remember to take care of yourself! It is very easy to lose yourself in trying to help an alcoholic or an addict. How do I know this?? Because I am not only an alcoholic but I was a rehab counselor for over 8 years!! So, look after yourself as much as you look after him!

    I wish you both all the best!
    God bless--
    susan

  3. #3
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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    Susan, thank you for sharing something I can barely imagine what it would be like to go through...I keep telling myself that although getting through the detox is only the start of endless steps to being AF....it must be better than living in the lies and hell of denying the fact of being an alcoholic. It's with all my hope and heart that it appears whatever happened today to make him take this first step today, that the determination and comittment stays with him as the depression is what was the first triggers a few months ago that told me something wasn't right....and I know it was extremely difficult for him to tell me he had a drinking problem...and the scary part of that is it seems to have been escalating over these past few weeks, and he was sharing less and less with me, especially about the drinking, but I'm pretty sure the drinking was also escalating. We had a very rough weekend in somethings said by him, completely out of character, and I was somewhat relieved to have an email in the morning saying sorry "I'm a mean drunk"....and 2 days later he was going to detox....I'm guessing at this point he was honestly beginning to hate himself, and not knowing really what happened at work, I know he loves his job, and the thought of losing it was probably a large factor of his decision. I did go on goggle today, and called over 30 hospitals/centres within a 15 mile radius of his address as I wanted to talk to someone in the detox area to perhaps get the guidelines he would be given to follow...unfortunately with no luck....only to be told there were numerous other places he may have gone to.

    I had already suggested a few things when he said the beginning of the month detox wasn't an option at this time, like coming to MWO, going to doctor to talk about suggested meds from site, I looked up the benefits and side effects of all supps. and suggested
    he add a least a couple to daily diet, walks to store instead of driving to use up a little extra time each way, and sending recipes for easy to do dinners with lots of veggies - especially being from CA his options are so much greater than here in frozen north. I know he likes a variety of foods, and also recently admitted that what he had "sorta suggested" was possibly an ulcer and he could not tolerate many, was actually his stomach being abused by the alcohol.
    and intend to ask him talk to boss about changing shifts as he currently is finished early afternoon,

    My greatest fear at this point is that if in fact his job is lost, and just keep hoping that as in his haste to let me know it was imperative he get help and what appeared to be enter detox today, that as he has been a long term employee and in supervisory position, they will be supportive....as if come Monday morning there is no job to go to, all the courage found today will be lost into a bottle. I know here in Canada there are many laws that protect people with abuse/emotional problems, and am hoping similar ones are in place in the US.

    and thank you especially for the warning to take care of myself, I know I have to be first the person I am that first started the friendship was share....I have to be positive, encouraging and mostly to find a way to have the trust in him that admittedly was altered at times recently, as the only thing I ever ask of anyone is their honesty, and did feel betrayed of the secret he held from me....but have told myself alot of it was to not hurt me, and it appears others he has let close have left him because of the drinking in the past. My heart won't let me not always be here for him, he's just to precious to me

    Sorry, my head is numb at this point....I could have never imagined a day harder to get through than the one when he told me he was an alcoholic...but this feeling of being totally useless at a time when I should be there, but money and too many miles just doesn't make that an option, and all I can do to stop the tears at this point is knowing he is going through fears and pains so much greater than I'll ever completely understand.

    Susan, thank you again....I will come back and re-read this after a few hours rest as
    I can see there is so much helpful information that will get us through this

    congrats on your successes and new life and hopefully all the smiles and happiness you find in each day

    somehow thankyou for your support and help doesn't begin to say how much I appreciate your time and reply

  4. #4
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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    hi your friend is lucky to have a friend such as u, hope it works out ok, susan, u r brill, i always read your posts avidly, im off to drs in few hrs, just tryin to work out how honest to b, xxx

  5. #5
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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    thank you B
    also for the tip to do search on Susan postings - being new here, and not having all the details that would make my searches easier is a great help
    If I could just suggest about how honest you should be at doctors...the energy and time you'll use dancing to avoid being completely honest...I'm sure could be better spent on things you enjoy doing for yourself in the day, as we never can find enough time for that....
    and if it's going to involve a second trip back to say " I didn't mention at earlier appt"...you've just lost a little more of You time...

    good luck at drs and thank you

  6. #6
    Registered User. sujul's Avatar

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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    Hey Rachel--I posted on your threads--massive good thoughts are winging their way across the Atlantic!

    BTW, net, you can look at all the posts of any one person by clicking on their user name...you'll get a little menu with that option...

    I'm really glad I could be of some help--it's very important to me that I share what I have been through with someone else. Like all good things, you keep your sobriety by giving it away. Same thing with love!

    susan

  7. #7
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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    read posts on my thread thanks, im just gonna spill it, what comes out comes out,

  8. #8
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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    Hi nething4usp,
    Sorry I don`t have any experience of rehab to relate, but as you`ve already seen, there are people here who have, who will do their best to advise you.

    I just wanted to say how much I admire you. Your post `spoke` from the heart and shows a deep love for your friend. So many of us alcoholics have to face our journey alone, for any number of reasons, the greatest being that society tends to spurn alcoholics, whilst ironically promoting alcohol, which causes us to live in fear of anyone `respectable` learning of our addiction. We tend to feel ashamed that alcohol `pulls our strings`, which results in many of us being very isolated and often lonely as we negotiate our road to recovery.

    However, we do not need to feel alone, as there are so many like-minded people on this site battling the same addiction. Someone on the site referred to M.W.O. only yesterday as a `club`, which I think is particularly apt. Personally, I feel I am among friends here, who have pulled me back from the brink. Is early days for me, but am already on my way, thanks to all my wonderful friends at my `club`.

    I wish your friend and youself much success and happiness. Especially for an alcoholic, friends like yourself are hard to find............

    Starlight Impress

  9. #9
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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    id lie to echo that, i was synical at 1st, but the concern advice an support is awesome, 4 the 1st time in yrs an yrs i found a group a people that can understand me, well i think u r trying anyway, im very confusing, xx but thamks for trying, love 2 all xxx

  10. #10
    Registered User. sujul's Avatar

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    ANYONE BEEN THROUGH DETOX HELP PLS

    Starlight, you are so right--alcoholism IS a disease of isolation and alienation...it starts out as a social thing and it helps us loosen up with other people to begin with--but if we are alcoholics--by genetics or biology or personality or culture (whatever the theory of the day is)--then eventuallly our drinking will become a curse of loneliness...I was once the life of the party--by the end of my drinking "career" I was staying in my room all day, laying on my bed and drinking myself to death. In fact, I wanted to die...despite having all sorts of good things in my life, including a loving partner...I was alone with my bottles...how pathetic is that?



    s

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