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    Thread: Paulysville

    1. #401
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      Re: Paulysville

      Hi Pauly! I, too, just saw this. I'm so proud of you for seeing what was really going on and for coming here to vent.. very well done. Building more sober muscles. I also keep the thought in mind, of how terrible it would be the next morning, wishing so desperately that I could take it back. With me, it then always turns into a binge because I can't face myself.
      Big hugs and stay close..

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    3. #402
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      Re: Paulysville

      The only thing i get to that stops me drinking is coming on here and saying i drank. i vaguely remember how great it was to drink and the feeling of not caring about anything in the world but i did that daily until i lost who i was and the world around me. Now i just dont want to drink, i hate al, i do get that urge but its a stupid though that is put in its place. We do what we do to not drink Pauly and as long as you have your tools in place and reach out for help when you need, you cant go wrong. Giving up smoking for me atm is like my not drinking, i have my support network that i am responsible for, i put my story in the work newsletter (cant get more accountable than that), im seeing a psychologist to deal with stress as i know that is my main reason to relapse and life is good. Its still hard but dolly steps each and every day and one day i wont want a smoke, i will hate it like i hate alcohol. But i miss it like i missed al. But i know i wont ever regret giving up at some stage.

      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2018 - 5 years of living life as i should have done all of my life

      Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

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    5. #403
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      Re: Paulysville

      Quote Originally Posted by paulywogg View Post
      Yep Pav playing it through doesn't work for me like it does some,like Byrdie said when she'd think it through she couldn't get past the drunk part of it,so I'm a pusher like her and try to push it out as fast as it comes! I'd hate to drink then wish desperately to be sober again,one drink turns into days long benders that leave me absolutely shattered emotionally and physically,right now I'm just trying to rebuild who I am and not be scared to have fun and love life,it's actually alot harder than it should be for me,I avoid alot just to stay "safe" if that makes any sense,thanks for popping in Pav
      Hey Pauly! First of all - great job on pushing the AL thoughts aside and not giving in. I'm sure you've heard of HALT - things that can trigger drinking thoughts - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. You seem to really have a grip on things this time tho' and it's really good to see that. And it's not bad to avoid things to stay safe - in fact it is recommended that we do that to avoid stressful situations. We do whatever WE need to do to get through and it looks like you are doing just that. Good for you!!!!
      For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
      AF since 10/10/2015

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