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    1. #11
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Quote Originally Posted by scotskev81 View Post
      My point is what you made there – that there are different types of alcoholics and also some that might not be considered alcoholics.

      I was in a night club in Ireland at the weekend and everyone was drinking loads. Double whiskey, double vodka, pints, shots etc..
      Seems to be ok if EVERYONE is doing it. :-(
      Smacks of 'I'm not as bad as.....' Kev... my adult 'children' (25-38) have regularly gone to the night club and had the shots,doubles,pints etc... so did I back in the day. The difference being.. we all looked the same at the time in the club but even as a young one (LONG before I would have been categorised as a problem drinker - never mind an alcoholic) when I would go home from the pub or club I regularly remember inviting pals back for a 'night cap' -- we made our own beer and wine... did I want their company? nah -- I wanted to not finish... my 'children' on the other hand - go to the club - go home - drink a pint of water and go to bed - get up with a hangover and don't drink again for a week at least... so to compare with others is utterly utterly futile.
      Look inside your head Kev - with real honesty - is your drinking a problem? Is controlling it a problem? If it walks like a duck etc...….
      Don't waste years fighting it - I remember being at an AA meeting - well into recovery as were most people at the meeting... some with 30 years sobriety - an old man stood up and said he had finallybeen told of a way to control his drinking. EACH and EVERY person at that meeting sat up and paid attention.... 'HOW'???? 'ach he says - it's simple - if I stand in a stream with a copper bracelet on my wrist - and hey bingo!!!' ---- 'DOES IT WORK'???? ----'no'
      You can't go back Kev.. you can fight it for years and waste all those years.. or you can take that leap of faith.. it is a whole new life... stop questioning - as they said to me in rehab - 'leave your brains at the door' -- just believe and go for it
      Last edited by mollyka; October 1st, 2019 at 06:02 AM.
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    3. #12
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Quote Originally Posted by mollyka View Post
      Smacks of 'I'm not as bad as.....' Kev... my adult 'children' (25-38) have regularly gone to the night club and had the shots,doubles,pints etc... so did I back in the day. The difference being.. we all looked the same at the time in the club but even as a young one (LONG before I would have been categorised as a problem drinker - never mind an alcoholic) when I would go home from the pub or club I regularly remember inviting pals back for a 'night cap' -- we made our own beer and wine... did I want their company? nah -- I wanted to not finish... my 'children' on the other hand - go to the club - go home - drink a pint of water and go to bed - get up with a hangover and don't drink again for a week at least... so to compare with others is utterly utterly futile.
      Look inside your head Kev - with real honesty - is your drinking a problem? Is controlling it a problem? If it walks like a duck etc...….
      Don't waste years fighting it - I remember being at an AA meeting - well into recovery as were most people at the meeting... some with 30 years sobriety - an old man stood up and said he had finallybeen told of a way to control his drinking. EACH and EVERY person at that meeting sat up and paid attention.... 'HOW'???? 'ach he says - it's simple - if I stand in a stream with a copper bracelet on my wrist - and hey bingo!!!' ---- 'DOES IT WORK'???? ----'no'
      You can't go back Kev.. you can fight it for years and waste all those years.. or you can take that leap of faith.. it is a whole new life... stop questioning - as they said to me in rehab - 'leave your brains at the door' -- just believe and go for it

      Thank you for the kind words.

      I can’t stop drinking on the social side of it sadly. Must go out and enjoy myself. For me I can have one glass of wine and that’s it.
      At a party or weekend away it’s full steam ahead matching other people drink for drink.
      At no time do I drink alone or if I feel awful the next day. (I’ll drink that evening after am better but don’t do hair of the dog)


      I’m happy that I’m not at the stage of drinking into oblivion and I at least know when to call it a night. Problem is I always want to go out after a few days/weeks. Non alcoholic beer has helped but it’s not a permanent switch for me.

    4. #13
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Quote Originally Posted by scotskev81 View Post
      Thank you for the kind words.

      I can’t stop drinking on the social side of it sadly. Must go out and enjoy myself. For me I can have one glass of wine and that’s it.
      At a party or weekend away it’s full steam ahead matching other people drink for drink.
      At no time do I drink alone or if I feel awful the next day. (I’ll drink that evening after am better but don’t do hair of the dog)


      I’m happy that I’m not at the stage of drinking into oblivion and I at least know when to call it a night. Problem is I always want to go out after a few days/weeks. Non alcoholic beer has helped but it’s not a permanent switch for me.
      okay - so if I read you right... you go out regularly and have one glass of wine.. you drink WITH others occasionally at a party or a weekend away - never drink alone - never perk yerself up the next day with a drink - never drink to 'sleeping' stage... (that's passing out in rehab speak) and always know how to stop.... can I ask WHY on gods earth you googled an alcoholics website? I'm not being mean - I'm really really curious - I woke up on the couch at 3am one morning - cold shaky frightened sick and sad and not sure if I'd upset people or not.. that's when I googled 'alcoholism'
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Quote Originally Posted by mollyka View Post
      okay - so if I read you right... you go out regularly and have one glass of wine.. you drink WITH others occasionally at a party or a weekend away - never drink alone - never perk yerself up the next day with a drink - never drink to 'sleeping' stage... (that's passing out in rehab speak) and always know how to stop.... can I ask WHY on gods earth you googled an alcoholics website? I'm not being mean - I'm really really curious - I woke up on the couch at 3am one morning - cold shaky frightened sick and sad and not sure if I'd upset people or not.. that's when I googled 'alcoholism'
      Because I still overdo it with alcohol and I can't seem to quit. Just because I'm not at the chronic stage of endless addiction doesn't mean I couldn't make an attempt to quit. It can only get worse and I was looking for advice and also to see how other people cope, or what methods they used. I was also sick of the hangovers and wondered about what am doing to my health. Also wanted to hear from people who had quit and what it felt like. Many reasons really.

      At the time I didn't have a problem but 1 year ago today I found I had some liver damage from a blood test. It's all fine now and I'm putting it down to the paracetamol I took a few times in quick succession in September 2018.

      Alcohol still a big thing in my life and a topic of interest to me.

    6. #15
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Fair enough..but you DO contradict yourself somewhat..some form of denial going on there..even down to blaming paracetamol? Really? You say you can't stop..but do you want to? It sounds like no tbh..I fear you may be trying to rationalise your drinking...believe me..plenty here weren't at end stage chronic alcoholism..but they accepted where it was inevitably heading
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    7. #16
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      I did overdo the paracetamol with the drinking and I've had several blood tests since the bad one - they show fine.

      Of course I am trying to rationalise my drinking because I don't want to lose my fun.

      Regarding stopping I wish I could but I can't seem to because there's always a reason or social /sporting event coming up.

    8. #17
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Kev,
      I ran back and grabbed a post of yours from sometime back, in fact, I looked at your start date and it's almost 5 years to the day that you joined us.
      You posted:
      "Blood test comes back with some liver damage

      I recently gave a blood test after feeling some discomfort in my right side below the rib and it turns out I have some liver damage due to alcohol.
      I’ve to give another one in 4 weeks and naturally I won’t be drinking during that time which will tell me if there’s any improvement.

      Has anyone else got bad news regarding liver function test/blood tests and what was the story?

      I feel fine and I suspect it will heal after abstaining for a few weeks. I will also never drink again."



      That last sentence is very telling. Why? Because as alcoholics, we vow NOT to drink but inevitably, we do. We make rules, we change them, we break those, say F-it, and so it goes. You've been at this for 5 years, as Molly says, this might be a good time to reflect on what you've gained over those 5 years. Has it been FUN or has it been a constant struggle? If you thought that
      paracetamol was causing your problems, I bet you could stop that tomorrow. But what if ALCHOL is the real problem? What then? There is only one answer and you're not going to like it. Alcohol is the problem, it doesn't matter if you only drink it in little pink cups, it is the problem...in ANY quantity, socially or alone. If alcohol were NOT the problem, then you could easily quit, right? How do I know all this? Bitter experience. I did just as you described for years, until it wasn't just socially, I HAD to have it. This is a progressive disease, as you know.
      I tried EVERY WAY in the world to make drinking fit into my life. I couldn't imagine life without AL! Honestly, I almost had rather die than give it up, so that's about what happened. I finally had to ask myself what was important. Trust me, you CAN have fun and a very full social life without AL. Life is BETTER without it, but that's hard to see when it has its hands around your throat. I KNOW how you feel, I know you don't want to give it up. I sure didn't. But life is so much more peaceful without that struggle. Let go and take that leap of faith. There isn't one person here that will tell you differently. As Narilly's byline says, you can have the life you want, or you can drink. It really is as simple as that. If we all COULD moderate, we would have done it. I felt 1000 times MORE deprived trying to watch it than I do having NONE.
      I wish I could save you years of anquish. You were 37 when you made that post above, you are now 42? Have you gained any ground with AL over this time? I wish I could show you my crystal ball and let you see what it did to me and how much better life can be for you if you just let it go.
      If I can help in any way, I'll do it. All the best, Byrdie
      Last edited by Byrdlady; October 7th, 2019 at 06:16 PM.
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    10. #18
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Thank you. I wish I could see it like you but I can’t help but enjoy it. It must have a hold round my throat. It will be easy to give up paracetamol like you said so at least that’s something I know not to touch – but the drink will always be there in a social setting.

      I have just turned 38 not 42. It was 5 years since i came on the forum but had just turned 37 when i had the bad blood test in sep 2018.

    11. #19
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Jeez Kev.. at your age I didn't have a whit of a problem with alcohol - do you want to just wait until your rock bottom wherever that may be and make giving up 'worth while' ? jaysus lad - yer old enough to have more sense -practically middle aged whether you like it or not - step back and look at what you're saying????!!
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    13. #20
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      No I want to keep the drinking under control and continue to have a good time.
      I want to enjoy it safely. Many people even those older than me can drink more or greater amounts at a time and seem to be fine.
      I’ve never experienced a compulsion to drink when I wake up or to drink until I can no longer stand or remain awake. Yeah i did that a few times as a teenager or early 20s but not for a long time.
      Why should I give up a night in the pub having 4 beers in 3.5 hours and then going home?

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