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    1. #21
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      JackieClaire's Avatar

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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Quote Originally Posted by scotskev81 View Post
      No I want to keep the drinking under control and continue to have a good time.
      I want to enjoy it safely. Many people even those older than me can drink more or greater amounts at a time and seem to be fine.
      Iíve never experienced a compulsion to drink when I wake up or to drink until I can no longer stand or remain awake. Yeah i did that a few times as a teenager or early 20s but not for a long time.
      Why should I give up a night in the pub having 4 beers in 3.5 hours and then going home?
      I'll ask the question again.............why are you on a website for alcoholics??? or whatever you want to call us...........dypsomanics, topers,barflies, winebibber.........yes I looked them up and there's many, may more.

      Enjoy your life rather than hanging about with a bunch of us alkies.

      We'll still be here if it gets to be a problem............brutal honestly here......... The answer you're seeking is not here............there is nothing we can advise apart from stop comparing yourself to others.
      It could be worse, I could be filing.
      AF since 7/7/2009

    2. #22
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      maybe i should post on the moderators forum.

      sorry to be of trouble

    3. #23
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      Byrdlady's Avatar

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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      You aren't any trouble, Kev, we are trying to help you. Let's take a look at a few facts that we know:

      You sought out, joined and have been participating in a site for alcoholics (for 5 years).
      You have tried to stop and can't.
      You've tried to control it and can't.
      Your health has been affected.
      You are having GREAT DIFFICULTY accepting life without AL.
      While you may not have all of the symptoms of a Stage 4 alcoholic, you certainly have the hallmarks of a Stage 1 or 2.

      When I was in college, I lived in a dormatory for a while. My suitemates appeared to be going out and having fun every night while I sat in the library studying my arse off. How could it be that THEY got to enjoy their college experience while I worked like a dog? Answer: It only APPEARED that EVERYONE was partying. When I really looked at it, one girl went out once a week, another went out at another time and on and on. Collectively, it looked like everyone was having a high ole time but me, but that wasn't the case at all. There was one girll next door who DID go out all the time, but she flunked out after 1 semester. The lesson is that we can't compare ourselves to others in a group. The GROUP has an identity of its own. In our case here on MWO, it's other drinkers. So many can have 1 or 2 and be done with it, even LEAVE some in the glass, but most of the ones I hung with have serious problems and JUST LIKE ME, they don't really advertise it. I was really good at hiding my problem, as you most likely are.

      You may not have ALL of the trademarks of a Stage 4 Alcoholic, neither did I, but we are in the team photo nonetheless. There is some glory in quitting at Stage 1 or 2 instead of 3 or 4! You get to save yourself years of declining health and increased obsession, job loss, etc. Just because you don't have symptom X and Y doesn't mean you aren't an alcoholic.
      I am one, too, and I tell you what got in my way of stopping was acceptance and denial. I think this is what you may be experiencing, too. I didn't start out drinking in the morning or even drinking every day, it progressed, and there at the end, it progressed FAST.

      I've been on this site for 10 years, and I have NEVER SEEN ANYONE moderate successfully long-term. That's just not the way this works. You can certainly try it, but notice there aren't many of those folks posting and if you read what they really say, they aren't moderating either. Moderation (for a male) is no more than 7 drinks a week. The problem with that idea is that as we try to CONTROL a substance designed to break down our defenses, we lose our defenses. After a couple, we lose our ability for control, and THAT'S the way AL works. That's why it's against the law to drive when you are drinking, your judgement is impaired, by its very design! For a person with an AL problem, that issue is compounded. We can't control the uncontrollable. I have seen 1000's of people put forth a valiant effort (myself included, heck, even the founder of this site!) and I have never seen success with moderation. Never. Not once. Ever. (and I've looked, heck, as an alkie, I WANT to see others succeed at it, that might mean I can, too!) but alas, I have never seen it. Once your brain has those pathways, you cannot change your DNA.

      I know what is behind all of these defenses, it is FEAR of the unknown. Trust me, I had it, too. I'm in the business community and I live in a resort town, AL is everywhere and drinking is expected, or at least that's what I thought. Once you are able to step back from AL and it loosens its grip on you, you will see that you don't need it, never did. The fun guy you are trying to bring out has been there all along.

      You are certainly welcome to fight this another 5 years, but we wouldn't be worth our salt if we didn't try and help you not waste these precious years. AL is not worth it and that's coming from a card carrying Alcoholic who LOVED drinking. There is no life in AL. Byrdie
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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    5. #24
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      I grabbed the 4 Stages of Alcoholism:


      Originally Posted by mario
      Alcoholism is a progressive degenerative disease that includes the Rfollowing four symptoms: craving, physical dependence, tolerance, and the loss of control.

      Alcoholism is a complex topic that can be better understood when it is studied and assessed via the four alcoholism stages. And keep in mind that when the term "alcoholism" is used, this also means "alcohol addiction," "alcohol dependency," or "alcohol dependence."

      Alcoholism: The First Stage

      In the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is no longer social but becomes a means of emotional escape from inhibitions, problems, inhibitions. Stated differently, during the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is, in many instances, a psychological attempt to escape from reality. For instance, early in the disease an individual starts to depend on the mood-altering effects of alcohol.

      Another observable characteristic of the first stage of alcoholism is that a slow and gradual increase in tolerance develops, meaning that more and more amounts of alcohol are needed for the individual to "get high" or to "feel the buzz." For example, it is common for problem drinkers in the first stage of alcoholism to start gulping one or two drinks before attending a social function and then to increase social drinking to 3 to 5 drinks per day.

      Alcoholism: The Second Stage

      In the second stage of alcoholism, the need to drink becomes more powerful. For example, it is common during this stage for the problem drinker to start to drink earlier in the day.

      As tolerance increases, furthermore, the individual with the drinking problem drinks not because of psychological tension or stress relief, but because of his or her dependence on alcohol. During this stage of the disease, even though the "loss of control" does not occur on a regular basis, it is, nevertheless, starting to become more noticeable by others such as relatives, family members, neighbors, friends, and co-workers.

      Also during this stage of the disease, the problem drinker may begin to feel more concerned and embarrassed about his or her drinking. Often during this stage, problem drinkers are unsuccessful in their attempts to stop drinking.

      In this stage, physical symptoms such as hangovers, blackouts, hand tremors, and stomach problems increase. Interestingly, instead of seeing their drinking as the root of the many problems and issues they experience, however, drinkers with a drinking problem in this stage frequently start to blame others and things external to themselves for their difficulties.

      Alcoholism: The Third Stage

      In the third stage of alcoholism, the loss of control becomes more severe and more observable. This means that problem drinkers are unable to drink in accordance with their intentions. For example, once the individual takes the first drink, he or she commonly can no longer control further drinking behavior, in spite of the fact that the intent might have been to have just "one or two drinks." It should be stressed that an important aspect of this stage of the illness is the following: the drinker often starts to experience more serious drinking problems as well as alcohol-related employment, relationship, financial, and legal problems.

      In the third stage of alcoholism, it is common for the problem drinker to start avoiding friends and family and to show a lack of interest in activities and events that once were fun or important. Also typical during this stage are "eye-openers," that is, drinks that are taken whenever the problem drinker awakens. Eye-openers are taken mainly to "calm the nerves," lessen a hangover, or to quiet the feelings of remorse the individual occasionally experiences after a period of time without consuming a drink.

      As the drinking increases the individual with the drinking problem starts to neglect most things of importance, even necessities such as food, water, personal hygiene, shelter, and personal interaction. And finally, during this stage, the drinker often makes half-hearted attempts at getting professional medical assistance.

      Alcoholism: The Fourth Stage

      The fourth and last stage of alcoholism is characterized by a chronic loss of control. In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker may have been successful in maintaining a job. Due to the fact that drinking during this stage frequently starts earlier in the day and commonly continues throughout the day, however, few, if any, full-time jobs can be maintained under these conditions.

      In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker had a choice whether he or she would take the first drink. After taking the first drink, the drinker typically lost all control and would then continue drinking. In the last stage of alcoholism, however, alcoholics no longer have a choice: they need to drink in order to function on a daily basis.

      During the fourth stage of alcoholism, benders are typical. More to the point, in the fourth stage of alcoholism the alcoholic frequently gets helplessly drunk and may remain in this predicament for a number of days or weeks. The unattainable goal for the drinker while engaging in his or her bender is to experience the "high" they he or she once experienced.

      In the second or third stages of alcoholism the drinker's hands may have trembled slightly on mornings after getting drunk the previous night. In the fourth and last stage of alcoholism, conversely, alcoholics get "the shakes" whenever they attempt or are forced to refrain from drinking.

      These tremors are an indication of a serious nervous disorder that now affects the drinker's entire body. When "the shakes" are combined with hallucinations, furthermore, the result is known as "the DTs" or delirium tremens. The DTs are a potentially deadly kind of alcoholism withdrawal that almost always takes place unless the alcoholic receives immediate alcoholism treatment. It may come as no surprise that after an attack of the DTs, more than a few alcoholics promise to never drink again. Sadly, most of them do not and cannot fulfill their promise. Consequently, they more often than not return to drinking and the alcoholic drinking patterns and drinking problem start all over again.


      From the information discussed above, it can be concluded that the four stages of alcoholism paint a bleak picture for individuals who are alcohol addicted. Perhaps learning about the destructive and damaging outcomes and the unhealthy nature of alcoholism may not make a much of an impact on most individuals who are already chronically alcohol dependent.

      It is hoped, however, that by exposing the facts about alcohol dependency and about the stages of alcoholism to our youth BEFORE they start consuming alcohol in an abuse and irresponsible manner will prevent many of our teenagers from experiencing the drinking problems and the unhealthy and devastating realities suffered by most alcoholics

      Finding a quality treatment program can be a difficult process. That's why it is important to log on & post here daily and of course other forums or organisations like this,
      Last edited by Byrdlady; October 8th, 2019 at 10:28 AM.
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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    6. #25
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      Re: How many people here only drink socially

      Quote Originally Posted by Byrdlady View Post
      I grabbed the 4 Stages of Alcoholism:


      Originally Posted by mario
      Alcoholism is a progressive degenerative disease that includes the Rfollowing four symptoms: craving, physical dependence, tolerance, and the loss of control.

      Alcoholism is a complex topic that can be better understood when it is studied and assessed via the four alcoholism stages. And keep in mind that when the term "alcoholism" is used, this also means "alcohol addiction," "alcohol dependency," or "alcohol dependence."

      Alcoholism: The First Stage

      In the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is no longer social but becomes a means of emotional escape from inhibitions, problems, inhibitions. Stated differently, during the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is, in many instances, a psychological attempt to escape from reality. For instance, early in the disease an individual starts to depend on the mood-altering effects of alcohol.

      Another observable characteristic of the first stage of alcoholism is that a slow and gradual increase in tolerance develops, meaning that more and more amounts of alcohol are needed for the individual to "get high" or to "feel the buzz." For example, it is common for problem drinkers in the first stage of alcoholism to start gulping one or two drinks before attending a social function and then to increase social drinking to 3 to 5 drinks per day.

      Alcoholism: The Second Stage

      In the second stage of alcoholism, the need to drink becomes more powerful. For example, it is common during this stage for the problem drinker to start to drink earlier in the day.

      As tolerance increases, furthermore, the individual with the drinking problem drinks not because of psychological tension or stress relief, but because of his or her dependence on alcohol. During this stage of the disease, even though the "loss of control" does not occur on a regular basis, it is, nevertheless, starting to become more noticeable by others such as relatives, family members, neighbors, friends, and co-workers.

      Also during this stage of the disease, the problem drinker may begin to feel more concerned and embarrassed about his or her drinking. Often during this stage, problem drinkers are unsuccessful in their attempts to stop drinking.

      In this stage, physical symptoms such as hangovers, blackouts, hand tremors, and stomach problems increase. Interestingly, instead of seeing their drinking as the root of the many problems and issues they experience, however, drinkers with a drinking problem in this stage frequently start to blame others and things external to themselves for their difficulties.

      Alcoholism: The Third Stage

      In the third stage of alcoholism, the loss of control becomes more severe and more observable. This means that problem drinkers are unable to drink in accordance with their intentions. For example, once the individual takes the first drink, he or she commonly can no longer control further drinking behavior, in spite of the fact that the intent might have been to have just "one or two drinks." It should be stressed that an important aspect of this stage of the illness is the following: the drinker often starts to experience more serious drinking problems as well as alcohol-related employment, relationship, financial, and legal problems.

      In the third stage of alcoholism, it is common for the problem drinker to start avoiding friends and family and to show a lack of interest in activities and events that once were fun or important. Also typical during this stage are "eye-openers," that is, drinks that are taken whenever the problem drinker awakens. Eye-openers are taken mainly to "calm the nerves," lessen a hangover, or to quiet the feelings of remorse the individual occasionally experiences after a period of time without consuming a drink.

      As the drinking increases the individual with the drinking problem starts to neglect most things of importance, even necessities such as food, water, personal hygiene, shelter, and personal interaction. And finally, during this stage, the drinker often makes half-hearted attempts at getting professional medical assistance.

      Alcoholism: The Fourth Stage

      The fourth and last stage of alcoholism is characterized by a chronic loss of control. In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker may have been successful in maintaining a job. Due to the fact that drinking during this stage frequently starts earlier in the day and commonly continues throughout the day, however, few, if any, full-time jobs can be maintained under these conditions.

      In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker had a choice whether he or she would take the first drink. After taking the first drink, the drinker typically lost all control and would then continue drinking. In the last stage of alcoholism, however, alcoholics no longer have a choice: they need to drink in order to function on a daily basis.

      During the fourth stage of alcoholism, benders are typical. More to the point, in the fourth stage of alcoholism the alcoholic frequently gets helplessly drunk and may remain in this predicament for a number of days or weeks. The unattainable goal for the drinker while engaging in his or her bender is to experience the "high" they he or she once experienced.

      In the second or third stages of alcoholism the drinker's hands may have trembled slightly on mornings after getting drunk the previous night. In the fourth and last stage of alcoholism, conversely, alcoholics get "the shakes" whenever they attempt or are forced to refrain from drinking.

      These tremors are an indication of a serious nervous disorder that now affects the drinker's entire body. When "the shakes" are combined with hallucinations, furthermore, the result is known as "the DTs" or delirium tremens. The DTs are a potentially deadly kind of alcoholism withdrawal that almost always takes place unless the alcoholic receives immediate alcoholism treatment. It may come as no surprise that after an attack of the DTs, more than a few alcoholics promise to never drink again. Sadly, most of them do not and cannot fulfill their promise. Consequently, they more often than not return to drinking and the alcoholic drinking patterns and drinking problem start all over again.


      From the information discussed above, it can be concluded that the four stages of alcoholism paint a bleak picture for individuals who are alcohol addicted. Perhaps learning about the destructive and damaging outcomes and the unhealthy nature of alcoholism may not make a much of an impact on most individuals who are already chronically alcohol dependent.

      It is hoped, however, that by exposing the facts about alcohol dependency and about the stages of alcoholism to our youth BEFORE they start consuming alcohol in an abuse and irresponsible manner will prevent many of our teenagers from experiencing the drinking problems and the unhealthy and devastating realities suffered by most alcoholics

      Finding a quality treatment program can be a difficult process. That's why it is important to log on & post here daily and of course other forums or organisations like this,
      Byrdlady
      Thanks.

      I read the 4 stages you mentioned and I really don’t think i’m even at stage 1. I must be at stage 0 which is the one before and the one that all so called “normal” social drinkers are at.

      Alcoholism: The First Stage

      In the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is no longer social but becomes a means of emotional escape from inhibitions, problems, inhibitions

      I’ve almost never used drink in any setting except social. If I did it might have been a little bottle of beer infront of the tv a handful of times.

      Another observable characteristic of the first stage of alcoholism is that a slow and gradual increase in tolerance develops,

      If anything my tolerance has gone down after hitting the 30s. I’m also being more selective with my nights out and having gaps in my drinking. No way would I want to have a session with work the next day.



      Thank you again for sharing this. Very interesting though.
      Last edited by scotskev81; October 8th, 2019 at 10:55 AM.

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