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  1. #31
    Forum Subscriber. mollyka's Avatar

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    Re: Have now quit for good

    Quote Originally Posted by scotskev81 View Post
    thank you. will take care.
    Look Kev -- I've been sitting on my hands here trying not to seem like I'm having a 'go' at you... but it's really simple imvho
    #1 -- You are just someone who sometimes drinks a little (or even a good bit) too much but can utterly take it or leave it - you can look at holidays/Christmas/stag parties/weddings as a time you may -- or may NOT drink without feeling a sinking feeling. You can have two pints (not six) regularly and maybe even leave the end of the 2nd pint in case you miss the bus home..

    or

    #2 - You are an alcoholic/problem drinker (either or) -- in which case -- you need to understand the 'chemistry' of addiction.. there is NO SUCH THING as a 'cheat day' in addiction. You may have that 'cheat day' and not touch a drop the next day -- or the next week … but the seed - the plant - that you spent 53 days starving - is re-planted -- re-watered - and it's in your brain - it's only a matter of time (days weeks - in my case it was often months) -- but the obsession -- and that obsession is the worst part will return... and it takes over your life.

    The only way to deal with addiction is to starve it.. I'm sorry - but that's the case - I've been on this site for a long long time - I've attended AA more times than I can count - and I've YET to meet an addict who can have 'cheat days' and be happy and move on with life.

    So there we go Kev.. argue all you like - and you will -- I'm sure. Decide WHICH type of drinker you are... you need to be honest with yourself and then ask yourself do you want to carry on as you have been (and it will go back to how you were at your worst if you're an addict-- and more -- that's a given) - or you can try having one pint a day for a month -- NEVER a second - and see how that goes --

    It's up to you - find out what sort of drinker you are and be honest... and for gods sake -- why are you here if you just want a few pints now and again.. take it or leave it - fecked if I ever looked for an addicts forum when I did that...
    Nag over - and I agree with all that Julia said
    Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
    contentedly NF since 8/04/14

  2. #32
    Registered User.

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    31st October, 2014.
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    111.

    Re: Have now quit for good

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyka View Post
    Look Kev -- I've been sitting on my hands here trying not to seem like I'm having a 'go' at you... but it's really simple imvho
    #1 -- You are just someone who sometimes drinks a little (or even a good bit) too much but can utterly take it or leave it - you can look at holidays/Christmas/stag parties/weddings as a time you may -- or may NOT drink without feeling a sinking feeling. You can have two pints (not six) regularly and maybe even leave the end of the 2nd pint in case you miss the bus home..

    or

    #2 - You are an alcoholic/problem drinker (either or) -- in which case -- you need to understand the 'chemistry' of addiction.. there is NO SUCH THING as a 'cheat day' in addiction. You may have that 'cheat day' and not touch a drop the next day -- or the next week … but the seed - the plant - that you spent 53 days starving - is re-planted -- re-watered - and it's in your brain - it's only a matter of time (days weeks - in my case it was often months) -- but the obsession -- and that obsession is the worst part will return... and it takes over your life.

    The only way to deal with addiction is to starve it.. I'm sorry - but that's the case - I've been on this site for a long long time - I've attended AA more times than I can count - and I've YET to meet an addict who can have 'cheat days' and be happy and move on with life.

    So there we go Kev.. argue all you like - and you will -- I'm sure. Decide WHICH type of drinker you are... you need to be honest with yourself and then ask yourself do you want to carry on as you have been (and it will go back to how you were at your worst if you're an addict-- and more -- that's a given) - or you can try having one pint a day for a month -- NEVER a second - and see how that goes --

    It's up to you - find out what sort of drinker you are and be honest... and for gods sake -- why are you here if you just want a few pints now and again.. take it or leave it - fecked if I ever looked for an addicts forum when I did that...
    Nag over - and I agree with all that Julia said

    thanks. I will be honest. Think i'm a binge drinker and the one good thing about that means that it is possible to cut down. I've already done that and will keep doing it. I can thank the lord it's not worse than it is.

    Thanks for your bluntness

  3. #33
    Forum Subscriber. mollyka's Avatar

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    Re: Have now quit for good

    Quote Originally Posted by scotskev81 View Post
    thanks. I will be honest. Think i'm a binge drinker and the one good thing about that means that it is possible to cut down. I've already done that and will keep doing it. I can thank the lord it's not worse than it is.

    Thanks for your bluntness
    You're welcome...just to finish...I also was a binge drinker..never drank daily and as I said I could go months without drinking

    Funny thing was..I ended up in rehab in 2011..almost lost my marriage - my family - luck of the devil I didn't lose more...but then..I too was lucky..I was a binge drinker who could cut back...until I couldn't
    That's it...over and out x
    Last edited by mollyka; February 25th, 2020 at 05:48 AM.
    Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
    contentedly NF since 8/04/14

  4. #34
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    Re: Have now quit for good

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyka View Post
    You're welcome...just to finish...I also was a binge drinker..never drank daily and as I said I could go months without drinking

    Funny thing was..I ended up in rehab in 2011..almost lost my marriage - my family - luck of the devil I didn't lose more...but then..I too was lucky..I was a binge drinker who could cut back...until I couldn't
    That's it...over and out x
    I think I've realised that the days of 10 pints a night 2 days a week are over.

    I will struggle on until the synthetic alcohol hits the market.

    xxx

  5. #35
    Registered User. NotHappyHourHappyLife's Avatar

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    12th February, 2014.
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    Re: Have now quit for good

    Byrdie wrote this to me, 5 years ago, and I saved it.... I didn't listen, but she was right.
    Years ago, I went back to "moderating", left this forum, and walked away. Last October, I woke up and kicked the can.

    "Moderating is exhausting to do.
    Plus, it doesn't work, so there's that. You have a ZERO percent chance of success. If 99 people walk off a cliff and die and you are #100, what would you do?

    Have you played this out in your head, what just on weekends really means? If you think being AF is deprivation, just wait until you start trying to limit yourself. EVERYTHING you do will begin to revolve around WHEN you GET to drink. When does the weekend start? When does it end, what happens when there's a holiday? How much do you get? If you stick to the rules, you are going to be the only person in history to do so long term.

    You know what I found? When we start making RULES about drinking, it's time to stop. You KNOW you have a problem and you are about to reintroduce it. So what has changed? More knowledge? More self aware? What happens to heroin addicts if they just use on weekends? It doesn't take long before you are right back in that pit. Your brain knows where you've been. There is real science behind this. Knowledge is power.

    Yes there are people who try to moderate, but try to find anyone who has successfully moderated (holidays, weekends) over the long haul. However, you must speak the language....it goes something like this:

    "I am really happy with my moderation plan, I have only blown it once this week and only one hangover. The rest of the time, I was really good, only 4 beers. I didn't feel great the next day, but that might have been the sugar in the beer. Over the last month, I have done great, I have not drank more days than I have."
    Translation: You are now a binge drinker.

    Denial is the strongest stage of grief, and one that is tough to break thru. If you don't think you have a big problem with AL today, let's talk again next year and see where you are. I'd bet my last dollar it's worse than ever if you are still using.

    Moderation doesn't work. It can't. What happens when you have a couple drinks? You let your guard down. What happens then? You have ANOTHER drink. And so it goes.

    I know that no words of mine can change someone's mind about trying this....and that's a real shame. I had to find it out for myself too, and it nearly cost me everything I've worked so hard for all these years. Now with some GOOD distance between me and AL, I can see it for what it is....a powerful drug that will do anything to get back in your life. This is ONE POWERFUL ADDICTION. I have never experienced anything like it...the only force to equal it is love, and sometimes, even that's not enough.

    If you have been lucky enough to have an easy quit, take it and run with it, because they get harder every time. You can take that to the bank.

    You can have the life you want, or you can drink. That's about the size of it for us. I hope you remain AF. Moderation has about a zero percent chance of working .....we are taking about the rest of your life trying to fight this battle. When I threw in the towel and accepted that I am an alcoholic, a huge burden was lifted. No more fights...no more rules...no more guilt, shame and remorse over this substance. It is the BEST decision I have ever made.

    Protect your quit as if your LIFE depends on it....because it does.
    Byrdie"
    "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
    so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."

  6. #36
    Registered User. DriftyAlison0's Avatar

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    Re: Have now quit for good

    I so agree with the post. This was me. I used to drink every other weekend. When I did drink I would be done for a few days then struggle weather or not to drink then spend a week being obsessed and excited for a night of drinking and then it restarts. Then you are a little sad when its not your drinking weekend but when it is you get super excited. All for what a few hours of bliss that can turn into embarrassing yourself. Being totally AF is the way to go. Moderation never works in the long run.
    I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

    Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

    Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

  7. #37
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    Re: Have now quit for good

    Starting to realise that but being absent seems to make me want it after a while.

    Part of the crutch of being a binge drinker as oppose to a loan or problem drinker. The times when your drinking is actually fun and social. It's the only social thing I like.

    Pubs and bars are shutting thanks to the virus so this will help me

    x

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