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  1. #161
    Forum Subscriber. JackieClaire's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    @byebyebridgetjones and @satz123...............your know your posts me feel so grateful that we found our way out.

    It annoys me that we get praise for going vegan, giving up sugar etc then when we say we've given up alcohol we looked at as if we've got two heads. And there should be more information at hand that its not just your (insert f-bomb here) liver that suffers. Its not only a physical, it impacts on mental health and destroys families.

    Got an incoming text today from afar, well our Mrs. A.

    Exact message:

    Hope you are both ok. Computer been at menders. Cannot get on line as password is in ether. Got lapttop back! All still sad but coping ok with help from my lovely family. x


    Nighty, night lovelies............... sorry to Bridgee nothing left for brekkie apart from a half eaten coffe cake and two white bread buns. We're due a big shop tomorrow.
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

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  3. #162
    Forum Subscriber. IamMary's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    Molly, costumes are for school - next Friday, social event of the year.
    Middle child (teen) still thinks its all parties on Halloween - They are now proposing to stay in for 2 weeks if they can go out on Halloween night - living in la la land.

    Quote Originally Posted by byebyebridgetjones View Post
    A bloke that I used to go to school with and do a fair bit of drinking with as a side hustle. I've seen him a few times over the years and knew that he was an alcoholic. Takes one to know one. He has slowly deteriorated and it is pretty clear that he now has ascites and brain damage. He is actually badly disabled, lost his job a couple of years ago and is 'not looking' for work. Completely grog f*cked to be honest, just wanders around public places staring at people. God it was sad. What a bloody disease.
    How very sad Bridge. I dont like thinking about what could have been, had I not stopped when I did.

    Quote Originally Posted by satz123 View Post
    there too goes Young Satz.
    How is YS these days?

    Great to get that message from Brit, thanks @JackieClaire

    My boss announced hes leaving end of Nov and we are all a bit devastated. Hes a rare breed as bosses go, we all get on great with him.

    Good night all..
    AF - July 19th 2015

  4. #163
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    Re: International Army October 2020

    Reset password on New Upgraded laptop. Will post later after read back.

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  6. #164
    Forum Subscriber. JackieClaire's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    Morning and waves to the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by brit View Post
    Reset password on New Upgraded laptop. Will post later after read back.
    We're not going far anytime soon,

    Its eleven years tday that I flew over to Belfast to meet up with Mario & Opal at the Europa hotel.........the day that Mario whispered in two women's ear 'Are you my way out?' to ladies in the foyer while me and Opal were sat in the tea room. He found us but gawd knows what those women thought Mario was after.
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

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  8. #165
    Registered User. rustop59's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    Quote Originally Posted by JackieClaire View Post
    Morning and waves to the world.


    We're not going far anytime soon,

    Its eleven years tday that I flew over to Belfast to meet up with Mario & Opal at the Europa hotel.........the day that Mario whispered in two women's ear 'Are you my way out?' to ladies in the foyer while me and Opal were sat in the tea room. He found us but gawd knows what those women thought Mario was after.
    Good memories JC. Good to see you back Brit, you have been in our thoughts. As JC said we are not going anywhere, although people are stocking up in case we are locked up. Needed a new mop head and a few other things so just popped down to our local Woodies (hardware store) this morning. Queue of about 50 people outside, turned and came home.

    Very sad Bridget, it could have been any of us. Very glad to have found my way out and to be part of this supportive community. Off now to walk the doggies.

  9. #166
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    Re: International Army October 2020

    Mr A much the same still hanging on. I am very tired but so lucky I have three great daughters who remember all we did for them as parents and are paying it back in spades.
    One daughter is a great nurse and hopefully here until Christmas. Youngest daughter doing all our cleaning etc. Oldest daughter doing nice food.
    Glad to be sober through this difficult time. If he went back into hospital there would be no visiting and he would maybe die alone. I will try my best to stay strong!

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  11. #167
    Forum Subscriber. JackieClaire's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    @brit.......good to see you, our Whizzy. S0 glad you've got your girls there.

    @rustop59.........a mop head, you extravangent woman.



    Nighty night lovellies.
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

  12. #168
    Forum Subscriber. IamMary's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    @brit, you have both raised 3 wonderful women and they have an amazing Mam

    How are things @Anjicia? the weekend can be a bit challenging just cos its called the weekend.

    I do remember Mario @JackieClaire - he came across as a lovely man, your lucky to have met him.
    What do you think you'll do with Bess's ashes? Hold onto them or scatter them somewhere?

    Meeting my folks for a walk tomorrow - its too busy in skerries for them, so they'll come here. But technically we cant all go, its a max of 6 from 2 households, but I can still run in a group of 15

    Just finished watching The trial of the Chicago 7 on Netflix. Really good.
    AF - July 19th 2015

  13. #169
    Forum Subscriber. fickle's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    Hello Army,

    Apologies in advance for long post as have not said much in a while.

    Sending a belated condolences to dear @JackieClaire for the loss of her darling Bess and hope your grief is easing a little

    @brit you are amazing to have done the marathon in the midst of everything. You are truly an inspiration to me I hope your dear MrA is bearing up and I'm so glad you have your wonderful daughters with you. It is hard to come to terms with our own mortality. I donít want to be morbid but our modern western attitude towards death is all wrong. We could learn from the Japanese philosophy of wabi sabi which is all about appreciation of impermanence. Sooner or later everyone goes, the advantage of terminal illness is having time to reflect with gratitude on our lives and plan a good death, as opposed to a sudden demise leaving loved ones shocked and traumatised. I went through the latter with my brother who died very young from cancer related brain hemmorage and in hindsight I realise how unprepared we all were, in spite of the fact he had cancer for some time. I wish we had done things differently to prepare our younger family members for his passing so they could look back on that time with peace in their hearts.

    @techie prayers for you dear friend October is also a favourite month for me as it brings the rain and Spring begins bursting forth here. I can relate to your sock sorting as I am about to go through all my old clothes which I put in a Ďsafe placeí years ago. Iíve lost so much weight I need a new wardrobe. Am finding things I put aside 20 years ago that are beautiful, still with the tags on that I had long since given up ever fitting in-to. Gosh I was a terrible shopper, buying things in sales dreaming I would fit when I got thinner. Sad I canít give my fat clothes away now - due to Covid restrictions theyíve taken away all the Opportunity Shop donation bins.

    @byebyebridgetjones I can relate to your family dramas. While away I caught up with my brother, SIL turning 60 and my niece. 2 days of partying where everyone was drinking non stop to the point of apologizing following day for not remembering anything. It was a very interesting experience for me because for example at boozy lunch I kept almost picking up the wine glass from habit, but I felt no desire whatever for the wine due to my having quit sugar. Just had to keep reminding myself thatís not my glass haha. Fortunately, after checking with the waitress there would be no sugar in it, I was able to order fancy mocktail instead and had a lovely time.

    Again, at party I observed the tiny little voice in my brain which kept saying Ďyou should have a drink and join in the funí as if I wasnít already enjoying myself. It was a little voice and I was able to treat it like a little anxious toddler with my more adult mind and just soothe it, not act on it. It was relentless however and I realised in the past I would have been worn down by it. That is because in the past I had the wrong belief that it was inevitable that one day I would pick up a drink so why not now. This time I patiently let the little voice go on, wondering at its persistence and thought now that I know about how the brain works I donít need to act on it.

    Following morning (un-hungover) I caught up with my niece who has got a new apartment, very tiny but hers alone which is so important. It also has a tiny balcony looking on to trees so I whisked off to Bunnings and bought her some lovely fast growing flowering vines and potted everything up in a big terracotta pot. We have had a bit of distance between us for some years due to some of her lifestyle choices and my wanting to protect my kids from that. It meant such a lot for us to spend that time together and re-connect. She is so precious to me and since then I have been following her Instagram as she adds to her garden and proudly posts pictures of latest acquisitions.

    @stirly-girly thank you for sharing your beautiful paintings which are also a wonderful inspiration to me. I spent some time doing colouring in on a yoga retreat recently and reflected on how discouraging were my art teachers in the past. Just the experience of putting colour on paper was so therapeutic I canít imagine how long I have survived without doing it.

    @mollyka I am hoping you are feeling better. Have you tried magnesium? It is worth a shot Ė many of your symptoms sound like you might benefit from it.

    @IamMary Thank you for the Netflix suggestions I am putting My Octopus Teacher, The Social Dilemma and Chicago 7 on my watchlist.

    @Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB) likewise thank you for the Monty Don article and I have found Imelda Mayís Slip of the Tongue on Spotify

    @Anjicia AKA Foxy whether you are an oldie or a newbie welcome to this thread and Congratulations on your AF days. You are doing so well and Iím enjoying your posts on your progress. I found a lot of modern understanding about addiction introduced to me in a book by Catherine Gray called The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober which is available as an audiobook. It gave me new ways of thinking and the keys to success. I literally made a list of all the reading she suggested and it made all the difference to me.

    @satz123 I have heard you talk before about those horrible people. I hope termination of the contract with the nursing home does not mean that lady will be returned to her abusive family. Is it possible you could find her an advocate to manage things for her best interests? I have heard about such people who specialise in elder abuse.

    I just want to say to everyone that I love this thread and am extremely grateful for everyoneís input. As @Guitarista has reminded me before "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." The fact that we all talk about our every day lives is such a tonic to me, sharing in all the big and small triumphs and tribulations that our lives are made up of. Its so important to be able to chime in and out as our lives are busy, then not so busy. Much appreciation to you all.
    Fickle
    'the benevolent person is invincible' Mengzi
    Freedom is a possibility only if youíre able to say no

  14. #170
    Registered User. byebyebridgetjones's Avatar

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    Re: International Army October 2020

    Hope you are all as well as can be expected. @fickle I can relate to just about everything you've said there.

    Brit I'm thinking of you, because sadly that's all I can do to help. Again, I am so glad that you have those girls of yours, and that they are the type to put others first when necessary.

    It's Sunday morning and I've decided that I need to have a thinking day. Not a bad thing, nothing wrong, no drinking thoughts except that it is now too late for my friend Richard - his damage is permanent and he may as well drink himself to death now. God I hope there are some lurkers seeing this.

    I've let other things take over from my regular thinking days and that's very dangerous for folk like us. We've got to be very proactive and mindful or we may be blind-sided.

    I just toasted the bun JC!
    If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
    Rejoined life 20/5/19

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