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Thread: Update

  1. #1
    Registered User. xEmx's Avatar

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    Update

    You can tell that :new: i can not get on with this posting at all, i tried to update my post but, it wont let me post on it, it says im not logged in but, it will let me reply to other posts so ive had to start a new one Anyway last night i got the dreaded text that i new id get asking me to go to the shop for beer and..... i went drank all 8 then overslept and didnt go to work I've spent all day feeling emotionaly and physically like crap, went to work tonight ( i do 2 jobs) and it was dead so i got sent home at 7 and was really peed off, got home and hubby said can you go the shop :sigh: i give up, how can i do this when hubby is so inconsiderate, i know i should be stronger but when someone is waving it under your nose every night it feels impossible, i get craves but i keep them to myself, he has to go on at me about it coz he knows it will start me off ( hes not stupid) ...............What do i do, i am not strong enough to say No to him, if he didnt mention it i would be fine, i know i would, i have asked him not to but he still does, im at my witts end, sorry for moaning i just feel like im chasing my tail here!!!

    Em.

  2. #2
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    Update

    Well Em,
    The old saying goes that "you can lead a horse to water, but you can`t make it drink", so you really have to make this decision for yourself and stick to your guns nomatter what. Don`t get me wrong.......I`m not in your position and can understand how very trying it must be for you.

    If hubby is hell-bent on continuing to drink.........let him carry on for now. Hopefully he will follow your example, when he sees the remarkable transformation in you as you become sober.

    It`s anything but easy to quit the drink, but it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in life. All of our circumstances are different, but each of us have or have had our own obstacles to overcome to get sober. The greatest obstacle can be overcome, Em, but it takes every last scrap of our guts and determination to do this. If you truly want it........sobriety is there for the taking.

    Sending you loadsa love and strength,

    Starlight Impress x

  3. #3
    Registered User. trixietrack's Avatar

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    Update

    same thing happens to me I have started labeling my BF 'trigger' . I get home start making food catching up etc...... he gets home looks at the table and says no wine tonight?
    nope I say, then he says:
    ok I'll go to the corner store and get something.
    then I get drunk and he starts picking on me for being drunk.
    ugly cycle

  4. #4
    Registered User. xEmx's Avatar

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    Update

    Yep trixietrack, i know that one, my hubby frequently has a pop at me for being drunk, and im like...................well you wanted the stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im in a no win situation, and starlight i know what your saying i had to do it with the ciggies, hubby kept saying we have to give it up, it took 3 years of stop/starting before i did it WITHOUT him just over 5 weeks ago, i got fed up with waiting for him! but like you say, I want to do this and i need to find the strength to do it on my own ( sounds so simple doesnt it lol) He is still smoking by the way he tells me everynight that he will quit tomorrow same as he says with the drink but.....tomorrow never comes does it...........................................

    Em x

  5. #5
    Registered User. Justin Time's Avatar

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    Update

    Em x

    Good for you quitting the cigs on your own! That takes some real will power.

    I've been married for 30 years and it is way too easy to fall into the trap of blaming the wife for my bad habits (i'd quit if only you would.....)

    Sooner or later we all wake up to the fact that we come into the world alone and we leave the world alone and we are the only ones we can be responsible for. We can love others all we want but we can't change them at all. (It's hard enough changing ourselves!)

    Keep being good to yourself. Try to be tolerant and kind to your hubby, but matter what, be true to yourself.

  6. #6
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    Update

    Definitely Em........if you managed to quit the fags, you`ve got what it takes to quit the booze. Am still struggling to quit the fags, but think I`ll manage it within the next few weeks..........just as with the drink, REALLY wanting to quit is half the battle.

    Starlight Impress x

  7. #7
    Registered User. xEmx's Avatar

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    Update

    In the end i hated smoking, the smell mostly and now i've stopped, my god people stink i can smell them a mile off, its getting that way with drink, im in the middle of posting on my no smoking site to tell them that im leaving for a while coz my no drinking is more important at the moment, its a small site that my mate set up and we all know eachother well ( although we have never met but, some peeps have) i have told them why, that took some guts, some that im closest to but the others dont know but, they will!
    i really apreiciate your replies and the speed in which you do it its very reasuring, tomorrow i wll go for it but dont know when ill get on here, in work 2morrow morn and 2morrow night will try to pop on at some point, Justin I dont wanna blame my hubby but, he wangles it in my face everyday, even with the fags coz its gone cold he wont go outside now he stands in the doorway, our patio doors are in our lounge so the smell just comes straight in, i dont blame him for my weaknesses but, he is bloody inconsiderate! starlight thanks for staying with me, you are doing soooooo fab i wanna be where you are and i wanna log on tomorrow and say i am 1 day AF.

    Em x

  8. #8
    Registered User. Chief's Avatar

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    Update

    EM, If you truly want to quit you have to be strong enough to tell him no. If he wants to drink, let him, but don't allow him to sabatoge your efforts to improve yourself.

  9. #9
    Registered User. xEmx's Avatar

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    Update

    Chief i value your input but, it is so hard, the way he does it, he knows exactly what to say! tonight he asked me and i did say no, i went in the bath and he came in and told me i was nasty for not going, i told him to go himself but he wont, then he got in a right craapy mood with me, so i basically went to have an easy life, i should have stuck to my guns i know but.........its hard!!!

    Em x

  10. #10
    Registered User. Chief's Avatar

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    Update

    You're just going to have to decide what you want to do. It's a tough situation you're in. We can really help you if you want to quit drinking but your husband needs to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Is it possible to show him this site?

    Don

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