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  • Page 64 of 66 FirstFirst ... 14546263646566 LastLast
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    Thread: Tool box

    1. #631
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      29th April, 2016.
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      Oh I guess my reply goes back to current date. I was replying to page 2 of this 43 page awesomeness. Anyway I hope the WIP is listening, a 2008 post is helping all in 2017...Thanks WIP and all members.. Grateful and look forward to pages 3 thru 43...LB thanks for the link

    2. #632
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      Mick's Avatar

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      4th July, 2012.
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      Re: Tool box

      here is a little poem I wrote last night for someone ..I was asked if I would put it in here...I have in parts left it particularly vague..when you read it..reflect on your own personal situation and add it in there..
      when I quit,I had something very similar written by someone else..i had it in my wallet ,on my phone in my car ...anywhere easily accesaible even when I was out..part of my strategy was if the urge started ....fine go ahead have a drink...but read it first and reflect on its worth

      if it helps anyone ..you are welcome..

      Reach for me

      Reach out and hold me, let me feel your touch,
      Life owes you, it’s not fair, but I can give you so much
      I will make you feel happy, funny, brave and so bold,
      So appealing to everyone, never out in the cold

      The sage of all things on this earth,
      No one but me knows your worth
      No one else, you just need me,
      I am yours for eternity

      So you lose your job, and life goes wrong
      Don’t worry about it I’ll be along...
      People bypass you in the street,
      That stinking slumped mess lying in a heap

      But now you’re shaking. I wonder why
      You crave for me more as slowly you die…
      Remember me telling you that I was your friend?
      I lied ha ha,
      Goodbye.. the end
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


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    4. #633
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      Orimus's Avatar

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      28th April, 2014.
      NJ, USA.
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      Re: Tool box

      Stop, breathe. You didn't screw up, you realize that what you've been doing isn't getting you the results that you want. That is all. Your house may be messy right now, you may feel a little all over the place right now. However, that is only right now not forever especially since that is not where you see yourself. Keep walking; stop, jack up the car and put the wheels back on. Take time to step away from the noise whether that means getting away to the woods, to a monastery or a long drive where it's just you and if you don't want the radio on you can shut it off. Shut off all the alerts on your phone that are unnecessary and just sit and listen to the wind. Pay attention to the world around you - to the trees as you pass them by, to the smile of a stranger.

      I would not advise waiting until you understand before you do, before you start creating the change that you want to see. As you push towards that change THAT is when you will begin to understand. Break things down, choose one thing and start changing it whatever it is. The rest can wait. Be gentle with yourself because change is distressing and your body and mind are healing as you learn to live without the alcohol. You are not an anxious nut case you are just anxious right now trying to understand. Get out of your head and pay attention to what you feel. If it hurts it's because there is a wound that needs mending, if you are afraid it is because you are faced with the unknown and/or uncertainty. Take it one step at a time, one breath at a time.

      The more you focus on what you don't want, the more you focus on the dread the more it will grow like someone telling you you can't have sweets. Don't think of pink elephants! lol The story of no one's life is written ASAP but chapter by chapter. The prologue is done so what is the story that you want to write? Chapter by chapter, page by page, word by word. The sky isn't falling dear. Of course I can't and no one can tell you don't feel anxious, don't feel so pressured, don't don't don't..... We can only share with you and suggest things that we have seen work.

      So take it slow, take it gently. Paint the picture of the tomorrow that you want to live and keep walking. One step at a time, one breath at a time you'll get there.
      “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb

      "See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.

      Newbies Nest
      Newbies Nest Roll Call
      Cattleman Cafe

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    6. #634
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      Elvis's Avatar

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      30th July, 2013.
      New Jersey.
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      Re: Tool box

      Reposting my 1000 day speech by request from Newbies Nest to Toolbox:

      I think the biggest revelation as of late is how normal it feels not to drink. Everyone who I hang out with regularly knows I don't drink, so they don't even bother asking anymore. At parties or hanging out, I kind of think they like having another sober guy around actually. Someone to help out the host and keep things on track. I certainly didn't lose any friends or invites by not drinking.

      Let's see, I'm going to the gym like everyday. I'm staying active in my social life. I'm more focused at work. The house stays clean. I'm reinvested in my hobby and collection. Stress level is down. I sleep well and wake up refreshed. I'm pretty damn healthy for a 43-year old guy. I'm fun to hang around with. Basically, I'm living life as it's supposed to be lived! These are simple things you give up when you let alcohol control you.

      I don't think it's news to anyone here that life will be better once you stop drinking. I'm mean, that's why you are all here -- drinking is ruining your life, and you need and want to stop. I understand how hard it is to quit. Made all the excuses myself, been there, done that. Drinking is such a big part of your life now, it defines you. Hopefully something I say today can help you change that. You're here reading this now, so I know you want change. Let's do it.

      When you are ready to quit forever, you will know it. Until then, you have to keep trying. Keep making progress every day. Get some sober streaks under your belt. Break records. Have a plan in place and stick to it. Build your sober muscles. When you fall, get right back up and learn from it. Find and fix that reason you fell so it won't happen again.

      The immediate physical symptoms of quitting suck (headaches, nausea, sweats), but they are short-lived. By day 4 you should be feeling much better. Then you can start building your muscles -- make a plan and stick to it. Have a ton of excuses for when people ask you to drink, or better yet, stay away from parties and other triggers for the first month or so. When you have more muscles, you can slowly add things back into your life. Be selfish and make it all about you. Quit is number one.

      Have a support system so you don't have to do it alone. There is no reason to do it alone. Lean on the oh-so-wise-ones on this forum and learn from them. Tell someone you trust and care about that you are quitting and hold yourself accountable. And be accountable to me and others on this forum. You need to find your own thing, because what worked for me might not work you, but the two biggest turning points for me were when I broke down in tears and told my wife how I needed her support to quit, and when I started posting daily on the roll call to be accountable to all of you. Don't be afraid to try different things, you never know what will work and you'll never know unless you try!

      All of you guys and gals are my heroes for quitting or trying to quit and never giving up. You are so brave and strong, it's amazing!

      [moon] [guy] [shout] [two] [horse] [three] [rockon] [worthy] [spin] [allgood] [two] [dancin] [shout] [baby] [fist] [celebrate] [dancin] [rockon] [welldone] [bouncy] [applause2] [dancing] [lucky] [worthy] [llama] [shout] [horn] [three] [applause] [hyper] [dancegirl] [black]

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    8. #635
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      20th March, 2017.
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      Re: Tool box

      Don't know as this is large thread whether its been mentioned. Ensure or Boost or equivalent are helpful when you first come off because solid food messes with your stomach. Its instant vitamins and nutrients and come in a variety of types. It does not mix well with hard liquor if you don't cut that out. Its like a milkshake packed with crazy stuff. They are known as meal replacements and I carry one with me often in case I don't get a chance to eat during the middle of the day. I get coupons monthly, 2-3$ off and pick up a ton of them when they are on sale. In Ontario the usual price is about 15$ for 6, but sales hit 8$, combine it with coupons and zip bang you have cheap nutrients for 5$ for 6. If you sign up at ensureclub in Canada you get a free 6 pack (not beer lol). I signed myself and my father up for it, so I get coupons often and have about 18 bottles of it at the moment. It does ferment kind of in a way if you don't finish the bottle within a day. If this is new after a week of no food and only alcohol, take sips, don't guzzle the entire bottle. As most of us know, foreign substances other than hard liquor do not sit well. I mention this because its one way to start introducing food and nutrients without vomiting. B1 and a Protein Pump Inhibitor.

      Not a product endorsement, just what I have learned to do money wise as we really mess with finances when wasted, losing jobs, spending a couple thousand on drink. Its mostly there if I screw up with a bender so I can actually eat and don't feel like trash. Thankfully its now benders and not daily, the come downs are harder now.
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

    9. #636
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      is Changing my thinking cuz the
      same old thinking leads to the
      same old drinking
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      paulywogg's Avatar

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      30th June, 2012.
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      Re: Tool box

      This should be at the top in "Just starting out"
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

    10. #637
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      Re: Tool box

      Reposting my 7 year speech from Newbie’s Nest:

      NS, thank you so much for the kind words, I didnt realize MaryLou was on the same day! Congrats to you, too, MaryLou! NS, is right on our heels, if memory serves, she will be 5 years on the 24th?!

      I do find myself in a reflective mood today. I never thought I would be celebrating 7 days AF, forget 7 years. I can tell you this, it feels really good. What a blessed relief to get thru a day without even a thought of AL. Hard to believe, the mind chatter I had in the early days and months was almost more than I could bear. I kept asking ‘When does this go away?’ In her own way, Lav stepped up and said ‘As soon as YOU let it go’. There is a wise one right there. It really was MY choice.

      As NS just said in her most eloquent way, I began to learn which voices to listen to. There was always the Feck It Voice and the less prominant Hang In There Voice. It took a great deal of practice, but I began listening to the voice that told me that I could ride out a craving. I told myself for many years, ‘I just cant do this’. ‘I’ll just try to cut down or moderate.’ I stopped listening to that voice, too. I listened to Lav, who had what I wanted. She made it sound so easy. Actually it is SIMPLE, but it isnt easy. I finally made a CHOICE. I would not drink, no matter what and no matter who. When I got a thought, Id say ‘NO, HELL NO’, I will not drink. And so it went. I checked in here like a crazy person, at that time, this place wasnt so active. I read the archives, anything to keep me on task. Did I think I was going to make it? To be honest, I just wasnt sure. All I knew to do, was trust in those that were ahead of me, and frankly, Lav seemed to be flourishing.

      I came here knowing just about everything there was to know about addiction. What I had to learn was about recovery, a subject I really knew nothing about. Getting sober is a skill and everyone CAN learn it. Its whether or not we CHOOSE to listen that separates the successful people from the ‘also rans’. I had been an ‘also ran’ for decades, I never was willing to listen or implement the tried and true tools needed in recovery. I always thought I knew better, until that day 7 years ago when I had to look in the mirror and admit I needed help. This time, I HAD TO MAKE IT STICK. I learned to be coachable, a skill that has served me well in this and other endeavors.

      Getting sober is only one part if the equation.... STAYING sober is something else again. You wouldnt believe how many nesters have asked me ‘What is the key to sobriety?’ Once again, the answer is simple...SUPPORT. I have witnessed thousands of nesters GET sober, only to wander off into the drinking wilderness to be sucked back in. They would tell me that they didnt want to be constantly reminded about AL every day....they wanted to get on with their life. I get that. However, we have a disease, we can wish it away all we want to, but we still have it. For me, I had to grow a backbone instead if a wishbone I believe that having long term sobriety takes two things; getting support and GIVING support. If you have ONE day sober, you have something to offer others, there are plenty of people here who struggle to get that.

      I really hate that alcoholism found its way into my life, but I gotta tell you, I think Im a better person for it. I appreciate life. I appreciate my friends here who took time to help me. I appreciate helping others get out of the pit of addiction.

      Thank you so much for listening. Thank you, Lav, for believing in me. That mattered. Still does. MindPeace is possible, Im living proof! Byrdie
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
      Tool Box
      Newbie's Nest

    11. #638
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      Re: Tool box

      I have to figure out how to print that.
      Thank you

    12. #639
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      Re: Tool box

      My 4 year Sober Poem:

      I remember
      The days
      And the nights
      Days full of guilt
      Nights with dry throat

      I remember the struggle
      To pass days
      And evenings
      Thinking about the next one
      Trying to stop
      With no sucess

      I remember
      The bottom
      In that hotel room
      When I woke up
      3 am with dry throat
      Surrounded by empty bottles
      And empty soul body
      Broken spirit
      And no hope

      I remeber
      the endless cycle
      Dry mornings
      Wild evenings
      Crazy hangovers

      I remember
      my first logun to my way out
      What started it all
      Path towards sobriety

      I remember
      Endless reading
      You tube videos
      To learn and un learn
      Alcohol is bad
      Its a waste
      Its a sham

      I remember
      the books I read
      People I met
      Folks I chatted with
      all the advice
      The tool box

      I remeber
      my first sober day
      Counting days

      I remeber
      Las vegas
      My first relapse
      First of many
      How I came down stong
      Fell flat

      I remember
      When i lovely PMs on MWO
      advices to hand on
      Go another day
      Just more day

      I remember
      Rebooting my life
      New interests
      My love with cyclings
      Running ...

      I remember
      The treats
      The pat on backs
      Feeling of accomplishments
      Ice creams
      And coffees
      How they tasted so good
      And still do ...

      I remember
      How I lost friends
      And made new ones
      Most importantly
      I found I have a family
      Kids ...
      Who care
      And love

      I remember
      Last 4 years
      Of complete abstinence
      Of freedom
      Of mental peace
      Of such joy
      Of feelings again

      I remember
      Today ... 4 years ago
      Rewiring my brain ... done ...
      Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
      Rebooting ... done ...
      Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

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    14. #640
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      12th January, 2014.
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      Re: Tool box

      At 281 days alcohol free....

      I remember when I used to wake up at 3am, sweating, nauseous, headache, shame - feeling like I had been poisoned. I'd take Advil and tell myself I would feel better when I woke back up at 6:30. Then I'd wake up at 6:30, and tell myself I felt much better than I did at 3:00, so I could deal with it and get up and get going. I would tell myself I would never drink again - and THIS would be the night I would stop. I would punish myself with exercise and feel terrible trying to swim laps while hungover - but I would tell myself I'd feel much better by noon. At noon, most of the nausea and other symptoms would be mostly gone. That magic time between noon and 2pm I would feel more human and still be pretty sure I wouldn't need to drink that night. I'd even feel a little better about myself because I knew I could NOT drink that night. At 2:00, the cravings started kicking in. Any stresses of the day would have hit and I would be so tired from the poor sleep the night (and decade) prior, that I would "deserve" a drink THAT night, just not the next day. I could allow myself ONE. By 4:00, I would have a solid plan about how and where I would get alcohol and consume it. I would either stop off at a store and drink a solid glass and a half on the last 5 miles home, careful to tip the bottle only when other cars couldn't see me. Then I would get home and have to make dinner. Poor me, I would say - I have to do so much work. Then the kids would do something stressful, and the husband would be in a bad mood or say something rude and I would definitely DESERVE more than that one glass I had already surpassed - because drinking was my own private sanctuary that no one could touch. I'd say "fuck the world" and keep drinking until 3 or occasionally more glasses were down - often running down to the basement or sneaking in the kitchen cupboards or my office desk drawers for mini-shots - because "the small nips really didn't count". Then I'd realize I had more than I'd planned, and realize I probably was showing signs of drinking, so I would stand further away from my family when we talked, and not make eye contact. If possible, I'd just not be around them. I'd slur my way through reading to my kids - almost passing out and then I'd fall into bed - glad the day was over. Sometimes I'd kick myself for drinking more than I'd tell myself I would - but often, even in bed, I would consider actually running down to the basement for one last nip - because more was better, right?

      Then I'd wake up at 3am with sweats, nausea, headache and shame.

      What a vicious cycle. The only thing that EVER changed was that I started having shots at 2-3pm instead of 4-5 - because the work I was doing was "boring". I'm quite sure I even lost a new project because I was "out of it" when they called me at 4:30.

      The picture of my life now is 180 degrees different. And though sometimes I crave things about drinking or alcohol - I NEVER, EVER, EVER want to go back to wasting my time, health and relationships on booze. Now, if I wake up at 3am, its to pee, or because one of my kids needs me (and I can be there for them without being grumpy and sick). I spend my time engaging with my friends and family (instead of hiding), building my business and streamlining my work processes, putting forth more quality design solutions and focusing on how to build myself up - yoga, meditation, clean eating, clutter clearing. I am a better mother, wife, and self-advocate. I participate in society, engage with strangers more and am focused on positive things - NOT JUST GETTING MY NEXT FIX (or recovering from one).

      It's SO worth it to get and stay sober. If you're struggling, keep trying! You'll find your way out!
      Last edited by KENSHO; September 19th, 2018 at 09:39 AM.

      Done. Moving on to life.

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