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  • Page 7561 of 7561 FirstFirst ... 65617061746175117551755975607561
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    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #75601
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi Nesters!
      It's a cold Sunday morning here and I'm up way before the crack of dawn.. had lit some candles to make it cozy while reading here and drinking my coffee, but now I can't see the keyboard to type!

      Slo, I'm really sorry to hear about your brother. Both about the loss of his lovely wife and his dui. I hope that he will accept the fact that he needs to find help and has you as a person he can talk to/rely on. Does he live near you? Have you ever talked to eachother about addiction? Hugs and strength to you.
      I know I used to drive under the influence at times, even with the kids in the car. I would never think of doing something so dangerous in my right mind, but after I'd had a couple of drinks? I thought I could "handle it". One of the many things that scares me to death about having just "a drink".. we become so irrational. For me, that's been one of the most important things to accept/reasons not to have one. I become a different person, someone I don't know and don't like and who does crazy, hurtful, careless things. Makes me sad that so many people suffer and struggle, become sick and die with a drug that is not only legal and easily available, but pushed on the public through every sort of social media and advertisement. ughh.

      Pav, thanks for posting that article. I love Holly and have been waiting for the Temper.. didn't know it was already up and running. Also for what you wrote about suspending disbelief.. so important. To let go of what we think we know and believe in something else, from people who are where we want to be. This letting go of the ego, letting go of the fear is necessary to move forward. I'm very excited about your upcoming 5 year anniversary with Ava..

      Ava, you've been such an amazing mama to little Mads.. thinking about her being 15 years old and that you've had the past 5 years to be fully present with her. She's had a great life. I hope she'll still have a nice amount of time left for you to spoil her and enjoy her company.. a speedy recovery for your Mother as well. She's in good hands.

      Thank you for all of the condolences! My eldest daughter slept over on the sofa (she lives just across the street, on the 4th floor.. the neighborhood watch!) this past week and my youngest and I went over early mornings to make and eat breakfast with her.. our "Oma" drove south for the funeral with her step children and she'll be back today. We all have nice memories of him, but the past 3 years he's been miserable with bad health and very heavy drinking.. which turned him into a person you couldn't be around. Our plan now is to support her as much as we can, to include her more again in our daily lives..

      I also had a visit from André yesterday (his B-day)- he'd been by last week, for the first time in months. He seems to be doing really well again back on track, healthier in mind and body than I've ever seen. He's still living in a group home with quite down and out people (he said most of them are drunk by 4pm and most have been in prison) but he's staying positive and trying to give something back.. mostly in the form of being a friend/listener and cooking the mid-day meal. He's got the goal to show them that meat doesn't have to be a part of the meal to be delicious! I baked brownies and had vanilla ice cream.. I almost cancelled, because what I wanted most yesterday was to have a day to myself.. and he's been a no-show so many times. I felt the smallest bit of resentment for "having" to bake and spend my time.. but my daughter (who was also here) reminded me that he doesn't really have anyone to celebrate his birthday with.. and I thought of Byrdie baking cakes for people just for the heck of it, and I thought of just giving back, that even if he didn't show, it has more to do with intention.. not losing hope in people, including myself. He took us out for a nice meal (he invited me a year ago but then didn't show up several times) and said that he'd been looking forward and was so happy to finally be able to do it. An unexpectedly nice evening.. here's to never losing hope or giving up on ourselves.

      Big hugs to all of you, Lav, NS, Byrdie, Wags, Choices, Rava, G-man, Pauly, Belle!.. I know I'm missing some people.. everyone flying by or stopping in to this lovely Nest today.. xx
      Last edited by lifechange; Today at 01:00 AM.

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    3. #75602
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, All:

      LC - what a beautiful story! This is going to sound weird, but sometimes I get irritated that my large family all live nearby. I lived on a different coast for a while, and we had many holiday meals that were a mish mosh of people with many different stories. Now birthdays, holidays, etc. are all just my actual family for the most part. I love your pieced-together family stories. I know, I shouldn't complain, I am lucky to have the family around, but I do miss the "friends who are family" get-togethers (which I don't have as much time for). So nice your family can be there for Andre and your "granny."

      Wow, Lav! We have to get ready to celebrate!

      Hope doggy and mom heal quickly, Ava.

      For some reason, my alarm goes off on the week days and I am sound asleep, but on the weekends when I can sleep in, I wake up early. Very annoying...

      Overit - where's that paper-bag mug of yours?? Choices?

      Happy SOBER Sunday!
      Pav

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    5. #75603
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Slo - I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. What a heavy load he is carrying! It does indeed sound like he made a progression from a somewhat situational drinker (coping with a specific situation, albeit over several years) into a full alcoholic. As we all know, al does nothing but make things worse but that is so hard to see from the inside. The hopeful thing is that incidents like DUIs do sometimes serve as rock bottom and provide people with something to push against on a path upward again. My heart goes out to him with all that he's carrying though. I hope the kids are gradually becoming old enough to help with some things, although even teens and adult children still take emotional and physical energy.

      LC - sounds like you're doing all you can for your "Oma" and I'm sure she appreciates it. Glad to also hear the update about Andre, and that you all were able to celebrate his birthday with him. Good on you for thinking past the tiny resentment and looking at the deeper aspects of giving and not losing hope in other people.

      Hellos and waves to Byrdie, Lav, Ava, NS, Rava, Pav, G-man, and everyone else stopping by the nest this weekend. Hope you all have fantastic days and eves!

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    7. #75604
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      x-post Pav - have a great day!

    8. #75605
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Quick fly by. Hello friends!

      Have a great week out there.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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