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  • Page 7610 of 7610 FirstFirst ... 66107110751075607600760876097610
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    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #76091
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good morning Nesters! Another weekend ahead. These are my hardest times. Friday - Sunday Night. Since this is my 3rd weekend sober it helps somewhat. We have a Christmas cocktail party tomorrow night. I feel confident that I will be sipping flavored water. I do NOT want to start another day 1. That is just too damned hard. So headed into the weekend with positive vibes. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi Nesters!
      I'm right on your heels, Rava! Heading into the weekend with positive vibes. I remember, in the past, it sometimes helped me to think about what day I'd be on Monday, how good I'd be feeling, ready to take on the week.. instead of having to deal with the dread of starting again.. which on average took me a good month. To get another day 1, I mean..
      So I'll be happy to be celebrating 2 weeks af on Monday.. how the time flies..

      Off to bowl a bit.. I'll check back in later to see how everyone is.. Ava, hope you were able to do a whole lot of nothing today at work.. and are now enjoying some time off.. sleep! xx

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    4. #76093
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Rava, funny how we all have our toughest times, mine was on Friday afternoons.....that's why you will often see me say, 'It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille' I'm giving myself a pep talk in those words! After a week of fighting customers and coworkers, I seem to have a sense of entitlement....to escape. My bubble baths have become a very important tool in helping me transition from work to home (working from home is the best AND the worst). Wishing you strength as you navigate the weekend! Byrdie
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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      Newbie's Nest

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Thanks Byrdie, Your BoozeVille statement is my friday mantra! LOL

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, All:

      LC - glad you brought up Yoda - I was going to write that quote also! I do think there is something to be said for changing language to support this work.

      Narilly - I'm with you with the 25 year attempt at moderation. I didn't know I was doing it, and there was NO thought that I would quit booze. I remember back in my 20s I was going to a party with a friend and I said "I hope I don't drink too much." She said, "just don't." I was thinking wow, I didn't even know that was a possibility to control when and where that would happen. I didn't get blotto every time I drank, but there were nights when I would dive in and not come up for air. Now I see that as a warning sign, back then I just saw it as a flaw in my approach, so I kept trying to change my approach. Didn't work so well...

      Quote Originally Posted by wagmor View Post
      I'm so glad I addressed things directly with her though, and I would never have had the clear head or the courage to do so while drinking. I would have instead cut ties with her and spent a lot of time brooding or similar. There is just no good side to al.
      Wags - that is one of the amazing things about quitting. There were all these things that I thought were just me, and many of them turned out to be just me while being a drinker. I am so much better at setting and challenging boundaries now. I'm glad that all worked out.

      Byrdie - Take care of yourself! That place is too much.

      Hiya Lav and everyone else...

      I am READY for this Friday for sure. I am looking forward to a weekend with my family, and a big ole 50th Birthday Party. I'll have my dance shoes on and my exit plan in my pocket...

      Pav

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Happy Friday everyone! Almost Sat. on the opposite side of the world. I'm FINALLY feeling human again after the week long stomach virus. It was a terrible one! So glad to be back!

      My newest challenge is to help my kids. I've been realizing that I spent a lot of their younger years focusing on my ambitions and then escaping from them through alcohol. I have not been a bad mom - but I see holes in my parenthood now that I drank through before. So I'm focusing on really helping them establish routines to get their work done and remember things, and help out more around the house. It's amazing how many little disfunction I let slide because I just couldn't "deal". Now I see a lot of opportunity to improve my parenting and help my kids - and I have the presence of mind to do it. They are great kids - but its time for them to learn more about work and reward and get more organized. Of course, this undertaking is happening at the same time as my desire to streamline my business - such is me. I will be careful not to take on too much. Little improvements at a time makes me happy. And that is what I will focus on.

      Have to run - I saw that there was a Yoda quote that I will have to go back and find - I absolutely LOVE him and Luke. Can't wait for the newest movie next year!

      I hope everyone has a great day!
      @Rava Happy 2-amazing-weeks yesterday!! Keep going!!
      Last edited by KENSHO; Yesterday at 11:12 AM.
      Kensho

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    12. #76097
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Quote Originally Posted by lifechange View Post
      Just read this from Today's gift.. Love it!

      Do, or do not. There is no "try."
      --Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back

      Trying is what we do when we aren't willing to make a commitment. We say, "I'll try," when our heart isn't ready to give a full effort. It's what we say when we can't admit that our resolve is wimpy. And it's the lie that will defeat us.

      Some challenges we face can't be conquered simply by saying, "I will do it." But we can choose to do something that will help. We can't move the mountain but we can pick up some rocks. We can engage with the problem and get to know it better. Every action we take leads somewhere and sets us up for the next action. We even learn from our mistakes and that moves us closer to achieving our goal.

      Today I will not just "try"; I will do something to move toward my goal.
      Quote Originally Posted by KENSHO View Post
      I saw that there was a Yoda quote that I will have to go back and find - I absolutely LOVE him and Luke. Can't wait for the newest movie next year!
      Here you go friend Kensho! From friends LC and Yoda. Glad you're feeling better. Sounds like a great plan and great times ahead there.

      Friday ain't no ticket to no freakin boozeville see. We must take care of ourselves every day. Treat ourselves gently and with care and respect. I reckon there comes a time when some self awareness is something we cannot avoid. Almost as if it comes knocking - often! Self awareness. i.e. Where the hell am i going? Who am i and who do i want to be? How do i want to live? Some questions it doesn't hurt to ask ourselves in the early days, or anytime.

      Have a rippa of a weekend.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Morning nesters

      Well it was so nice to sleep in til 7am and know i dont go back to work till 14th January. I look at my house and think it will take that long to clean, looks like something from my drinking days! We had so much rain yesterday which was nice but caused a lot of damage also, i did manage to get out and do my food shopping for the weekend so now i dont have to subject myself to the maddening crowds.

      Rava, i dont know why i was always scared of Fridays when i drank all through the week also but maybe i drank more on friday knowing i didnt have to work saturday and then there was drinking saturday of course with the promise of not drinking sunday but just having a few on sunday which added up for a hangover on monday. God its exhausting typing this.

      I had a big talk to my boys yesterday about their drinking and told them to get their shit together or move out. As i said to them i am an alcoholic and i can see what it is doing to them and how it changes them. of course they are on their best behaviour but im done with al in my house completely. im now a hater of alcohol big time. they cant moderate, they have no off button so i am their off button. i cant get them to stop but i can make their life a misery and keep trying.

      House cleaning and cooking today, those two words dont seem appealing but its more doable sober.

      Take care xx
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2018 - 5 years of living life as i should have done all of my life

      Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Quote Originally Posted by Guitarista View Post
      Friday ain't no ticket to no freakin boozeville see. We must take care of ourselves every day. Treat ourselves gently and with care and respect. I reckon there comes a time when some self awareness is something we cannot avoid. Almost as if it comes knocking - often! Self awareness. i.e. Where the hell am i going? Who am i and who do i want to be? How do i want to live? Some questions it doesn't hurt to ask ourselves in the early days, or anytime.
      Thanks for this, G-man, as it’s just what I needed to hear today. I haven’t been feeling very well and with little energy, and been mad at myself for it; plus have been asking some of these questions. Slogging through life in the flat zone.

      The Christmas Open House went fine! I enjoyed mingling & nibbling, and didn’t really care about the wine & beer they were all drinking. But, was only there for one and a half hours and, while I did enjoy it, was feeling pretty ready to be done by then. If only all social occasions were scheduled for just 3 hours like this one, then I could deal AF! But, that’s why we need an exit strategy, right Pav?

      Good for you for setting boundaries with your sons, Ava! It’s kind of rude that they’re drinking in your home anyways after what you’ve been through with alcohol, and this way you can stand up for what’s in their best interests too, since they don’t seem to have off switches either. (Those Fowler genes!)

      Helping the kids develop routines, stay organized, pick up after themselves, and help out around the house has been a weak and tough area for me too, Kensho. And it didn’t help that my husband wouldn’t back me up in these areas either. But at least he’s not interfering with this youngest child, and allows me to insist that she clean her room and pick up after herself. These are life skills that will serve them well in the future.

      Good luck Rava with weekend #3! You have a good thing going now, so can just keep it going!
      Last edited by Slo; Yesterday at 09:33 PM.
      Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good evening Nesters,

      Gearing up for a super rainy weekend here. Unfortunately we have to travel for a memorial service for an old friend tomorrow, oh well.

      Slo, glad your party went well. I hate parties anymore, guess I'm just getting too old, ha ha!

      Rava, enjoy your third AF weekend & tell us all about it on Monday

      Hello to LC, Byrdie, Pav, kensho, Wags & G!

      Ava, I'd be unhappy if I had adult kids living here & drinking too. Your house, you set the rules, right?
      Making our homes comfortable & peaceful is all part of our long term self-care. Do what you have to do!!!

      Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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