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  • Page 7676 of 7685 FirstFirst ... 6676717675767626766676747675767676777678 ... LastLast
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    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #76751
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      morning nesters

      Glad you are home safe and sound NS. I am a very impatient driver having to deal with peak hour but even i am not that dumb to take risks in awful weather.

      Min, i have to agree with my quit buddy, being here is what helped to get and keep me sober. When i first came to MWO i didnt want to listen to the older termers, what did they know, they found it easy, not like me. Yep they went through exactly the same as what i was going through and i eventually listened and learned. Support is essential in sobriety in the first year although here Pav and i are 5 years later.

      Day 25 of no fags and i think its getting easier. work is really stressful and this addict does not handle stress very well. not having a vice to fall back on is hard and there are some days where i just want to give up but mostly i just feel that i need to achieve this and get it over and done with.

      Carl is doing wonderfully well and is a total joy although Mads does not share that joy. At least she isnt giving me the evil eye every time i pick him up now. i now have my other daughter visiting me, or Carl, i think its Carl ha ha.

      Lav, its great having a hair dresser in the family but boy do i have to beg for a hair cut, its amazing what a hair cut does to lift your spirits.

      time for a coffee and to do some more work.

      take care xx
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2018 - 5 years of living life as i should have done all of my life

      Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

    2. #76752
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      MinStar, that’s a really positive sign that something shifted in you and you felt like you no longer want to bother with alcohol. I consider that to be like an internal rock bottom, and much better than an external rock bottom with all the messy external consequences. I think most all of us have gone through that shift, and it portends well for long term sobriety.

      NoSugar, thank you for describing your trip to Scandinavia. It really demonstrates why it is better for “us” to just not drink on travel vacations, as the waiting & wondering & wanting more just makes us even more miserable!

      @KENSHO, I really liked the way that you handled the theft & bullying issue at your son’s school.

      LC, Sundays are just meant for being lazy days. It is the “day of rest” in the week, after all. I have to keep reminding myself of that when I get super tired & lazy on Sundays like I did yesterday. But, now I feel better on Monday! So smart of you to stay away from the shops when you weren’t feeling totally like you could trust yourself as well.

      Ava, nice for you that the kids are dropping in to see Carl! It has to be SO hard to stay smoke-free with work stress! I admire your strength of will. 25 days is ace! -and you sure don’t want to repeat those again!

      Keep rockin’ it, everyone -one day at a time.
      Last edited by Slo; February 11th, 2019 at 03:54 PM.
      Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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    4. #76753
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Happy Monday, all!
      Made it through another day at work.
      Ava, so funny, I thought all the old timers had an easier time of quitting than I did. I thought, THEY aren’t in the business world, or THEY don’t live in a community that’s a vacation spot, where everyone drinks, THEY don’t have cravings and mind chatter like I do. Well, I was wrong. They were just as addicted as I was (am). I really thought I was different but now that I can see more clearly, I definitely was not. Only time and distance from AL can give you that perspective. NS nailed it when she said that quitting AL for anyone with addiction is hard, my hubs could quit tomorrow and it wouldn’t matter, I just can’t imagine!
      My dog keeps walking back and forth across my lap as I try to type! She wants attention! Hope everyone has an easy evening! Byrdie
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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      Newbie's Nest

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good evening Nesters from the land of snow & cold, Brrrrrrrr!!
      It started snowing last night right around 9 pm & it hasn't stopped yet, geez. We may even be treated to a layer of ice tomorrow morning, not good.
      I baked up 4 seed blocks in 9 " cake pans today to keep my chickens from pecking each other to death while they're cooped up for the next few days.

      Ava, Carl is certainly attracting visitors, haha! Don't be surprised if you find a line waiting at your front door some day
      Very nice on your 25 days. Keep this quit & you'll never ever have to go thru this again. I still tell myself that even after almost 10 years, LOL

      Minstar, I remember having a lot of mixed feelings during that first year. I think it's a completely normal reaction to such a big change. You're body & mind are still adjusting. Hang in there, we are here if you need us.

      Slo, I bet you're having your share of this nasty weather too. Think Spring

      Byrdie, sounds like Rubi wants some attention, haha!! I figure she's the jealous type

      Hello to everyone & wishing a safe & cozy night in the nest for all!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hello everyone! Byrdie I completely can’t fathom what it would have felt like to just stop drinking and not really think about it much. That was certainly NOT how I felt!!! Good Lord it was hard. I wanted booze with every cell in my body... except the two smartest ones I had left in my brain that knew I was going down a path of destruction. Feeling indifferent about not drinking was not me! It was a true love hate affair. I know for a fact that if I let myself drink one drop, I’d be right back in that lustful situation. No thank you!!

      Feeling controlled was the thing I hated the most about being addicted. Thank goodness I am free of that now.

      I have a new book, going to get in a few pages before bed. Sleep well everyone!
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

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    9. #76756
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Thanks guys, I will keep going. @available well done on day 25 you got this! @Slo thanks I think the shift comes internally and like you said the internal rock bottom is better than the external one. I am normally very strong minded. @Byrdlady the mind chatter throughout the day is the killer. Reading everyones stories tells me I'm not the only one and thats comforting to know. Hope Ruby got some attention @Lavande I hope youre alright in the cold weather. @KENSHO hope you got a few good pages of the book in.

      The weather is milder my neck of the woods today. Had a busy morning cooking, cleaning, laundry and now off to take DS to his school for the afternoon before school run for picking up DD.
      Hope everyone has a great Tuesday.

      MinStar

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good morning all--

      Ava, I neglected to say WHOOT for the quitting smoking. I am wondering if the stages are how you felt in the stages of quitting the booze? Take care, and cuddle with Carl and Mads if need be...

      I had a stressful day at work yesterday and had to stop at the grocery store on my way home. I inadvertently took the route through the wine on my way to the bread section. I looked around and had a thought about what I would have done in the past - grabbed a bottle and headed home to a BIG pour. I thought that through, and I discovered that I really didn't want that feeling of being tipsy or buzzed or whatever. It was very strange because that is the feeling I usually still crave. I realized that I wanted to plow through the feelings and be here for my family. I'll take that as a victory...

      LC - How're you doing? Over the jet lag yet?

      Min - sounds like a productive day.

      Off to work. Have great, SOBER days.

      Pav

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      @Pavati Well done you! You should be proud of yourself. That one big pour would’ve ruined all the hard work you’ve done over the past 5yr and it wouldn’t have been just one. As Mad Eye-Moody in Harry Potter says ‘constant vigilance’. Can you tell we’ve been listening to HP on school runs
      How’s your day looking? I’m on school run. Kept busy with house chores today so haven’t done much reading or posting.
      Have a great day.
      Min Star

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good morning Peeps! We had an early rise for my daughter's school conference, and have a busy day ahead. I also have a mountain of laundry to fold tonight, about 2' high and 6'wide! AK!

      @MinStar, was it you who asked people to say a little about their journey here so you could get to know them? I imagine it is hard to gather all that information easily from our daily posts. My (no so short) story is this:

      I always drank to help with social anxiety, but my problem escalated when I had a child at the age of 30, and started a business at the same time. I began to drink nightly to escape the fact that I was in constant demand with an infant, husband and business. It was stress relief, but then became an addiction to "cure" any ailment. Over the years, I used it still for anxiety, but also for not knowing how to deal with conflict with my husband, a headache, pms, the stress of a hard day or staying up late to work, a reward for a good job, because I was hungry, bored, tired.... it became my go-to for any desire in a mood shift. I wrote poetry about alcohol for God's sake! I recognized my problem back in 2007, but didn't think it was "that bad" because I didn't crash my car, lose my job or sit on the curb with a brown paper bag - yet I couldn't stop drinking every night. I started drinking more drinks a day and started to drink at 2-3 pm at times. I fell asleep reading to my kids with alcohol breath and fought with my husband more than usual. I tried and tried to moderate and then tried and tried to quit. I lied to myself and others and drank in the car.

      The last time I drank on December 12, 2017, it hit me like a ton of bricks that my life would never be different if I kept drinking. I would ALWAYS return to the cycle of hating alcohol, vowing to quit, and then drinking yet again that night. I knew that alcohol would always control me unless I gave it up completely. So I did. I wanted alcohol, for sure, but I didn't want THAT life more. I think that was the understanding I had to come to. The pleasure of drinking was finally outweighed by the bad things it brought.

      I joined MWO in 2014. I had been wrestling with my alcohol abuse for 7 years prior to that. I finally quit for good at the end of 2017. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. It has taken me through so much growing up. When I joined here I was a person with a presentable exterior, but an empty interior. I went through the motions of a life so I could drink. I made ends meet - and fairly well considering my addiction. But I didn't know who I was, what I loved and wanted, and how to speak up for what I needed and deserved. I didn't feel like I deserved to get anything because I didn't like myself very much. I was a liar, a person who only wanted to escape.

      Now, I like reality and I face it head on. I communicate with others and my husband and kids in a much more calm, deliberate, balanced way. I allow myself to have bad days, and I value all of my feelings even when they totally suck. I still get angry, sad, anxious, hungry, bored... but I am able to feel joy and peace like I never did before in my life. I treat myself better - I go to bed instead of working late every night, and I exercise to increase my strength - not to punish myself. I eat well. I take days off. I listen to the music I want and ask to watch shows and go to restaurants that I like (instead of only doing what others want and being bitter that I don't really enjoy it). I plan for my future. I enjoy connecting with my kids, instead of viewing them as an obstacle to my drinking - and I am THERE for them. Alcoholics love their kids. But sober people are able to show that love more and offer the guidance and support that make them better people. I laugh and smile more. I thrive.

      I can imagine that for those who are new here or lurking, you don't always pick up on the in-between time many of us have been through. Some of us here are feeling adjusted to our sober lives, but we went through really, really hard times and soul searching to get here. We understand what you are going through!! And there's not much you could say or do that would surprise us, because we probably did it too. I tipped the bottle while driving, snuck shots from my office closet, dumped empty bottles in business dumpsters, refilled bottles with water, stood 3' away from people so they couldn't smell me, planned trips and outings to make sure I would get my fix, and even asked my mother in law to bring me a beer while in the hospital the day after my C-section. And worse.

      Wherever you are on the path to sobriety, just keep moving forward. Speaking up about how you are feeling allows us to weigh in with our experience, our support and encouragement. It is wonderful being sober, and it gets so much easier with time. You will never regret giving it that 30 day run, because you will learn you can do this, and - even if it's 11 years later like me - you CAN get and stay sober. I only wish I had done it sooner.
      Last edited by KENSHO; February 12th, 2019 at 03:00 PM.
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

    13. #76760
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      That's one for the ToolBox, @KENSHO! xx


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