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    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #77321
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, All:

      Spitting truth again, Byrdie. Learning how to cope without first drowning out everything - what a concept. Staying sober is #1 for me, too. That's one of the reasons I post here every day (well most days) - my sober accountability.

      Sunrise - isn't funny how the mind is trained to crave a poison, even when it is feeling bad? Glad you rode through that craving and came out the other side. Hope your muscles are nicer to you today. Also, did someone mention the Bubble Hour podcast to you? I found it VERY helpful my first year especially.

      I usually don't have sleep issues, but heading into a mountain of work that has to be done NOW today, so I think I was anxious and restless and had trouble staying asleep. That's not going to make that mountain of work go away...

      Hope all is well with everyone. Happy SOBER Monday.

      Pav

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Byrdie - glad you're getting your AC fixed today. No more melted cakes or melted Byrds!

      Sunrise - I hope you don't feel that people were pressuring you to tell your husband. We've all been through those early days when we had to figure out what to tell whom. It'll probably be time to tell him sometime, but only you know what's truly best. I started off using health as my reason to quit and it's still a huge part of my story (and true - I feel better when I don't drink!). But I have never fully come clean re how much of a problem I have except with folks here in the nest. For now your only job is not to drink, and it sounds like you got through a challenge yesterday. Good job, and now onward!

      Pav - your 13-mile hike sounds wonderful. One of my favorite activities. I forget, are you in or near mountains?


      Gotta run for now - Monday again - hellos and waves to everyone!

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good morning everyone.
      Floods And tornadoes Lav? What the heck. That is some crazy weather you have there. Keep those chickens safe.

      Byrdie, I am so happy that things are going well for you and your brother. It is so nice when you can have a good relationship with a sibling like that. I hope your work week doesn’t totally suck.

      N Sunrise, way to go and get through those cravings. Just let them float on by. I used to catch myself obsessing about drinking but then I learned to let the thoughts go.

      Shitty that you had a bad sleep Pav, you will make up for it tonight though.

      Wags, melted Byrdie, haha that was funny. Have a good one friend.

      Ava, hope all is well with Carl. Thank goodness he has a sober momma to take care of him.

      GMan, Life, hello xo

      Have a good one everyone!
      Narilly

      "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
      "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

      AF April 12, 2014

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Ok, feeling guilty here. I thought I would post before it gets out of control

      Hubby has to go to NJ and will be gone into next week, we will both spend Easter apart. Kicker is, his company has offered to send me up with him so that we are not apart on a holiday. I said no .

      First, I am not a fan of NJ ( sorry for the folks who are from there), it will be cool and rainy for last part of the week. I will spend too much time in the hotel by myself, with not a lot to do. He will most likely spend long hours there. I still have 2 more weeks to heal from the surgery and after I felt yesterday, I don't want to be in a hotel feeling bad. I have the Easter Egg hunt on Sat. a doc appt on the following Tues and surprise birthday party for one of the ladies in our group. I don't know her that well, but still.

      Second, the automatic thought of not being able to drink came up. I don't plan on drinking and so the guilt of all the trips he has taken and I looked forward to drinking came up. I feel so guilty about that!

      I just want to get a good strong footing with myself. I am enjoying the weather, the exercising outside, the comfort of my home. He will be by himself for a holiday and a feel like such a heal.

      I am not really comfortable with myself right now!

      I am bummed.
      Last edited by New Sunrise; April 15th, 2019 at 09:42 AM. Reason: Grammer editing

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      I don’t think you need to feel guilty about that, New Sunrise! You have a perfect & authentic excuse: you are recovering from a delicate neck surgery, so want to stay in the comfort of your own home to finish healing, and attend your doctor appointment; instead of risking jarring your neck while traveling. It’s the truth!
      I doubt that your husband will care that much since it sounds like he will be quite busy with work, and probably wouldn’t want you sitting around bored in a hotel room. And besides, if you join him then your daughter will be alone for Easter.
      I wouldn’t worry about it -you need to look after yourself in the best way possible during this time of convalescence.
      Last edited by Slo; April 15th, 2019 at 11:10 AM.
      Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Guilt is just the worst of emotions, and so unnecessary. And the thing is, no one can make us feel it. That is all on us.

      I agree with @Slo, @New Sunrise. Not going is a sensible choice for many reasons. Unless Easter is an especially important holiday for you and your husband, is being apart on that particular day a big deal? I think we often exaggerate the importance of particular days. I'm very open to celebrating any holiday with the people I want to celebrate with at a different time. For me, the "big deal" about Easter is what we eat. Because we are going to a brunch on Easter, I will make the ham, deviled eggs, and scalloped pineapple the night before because that is what my extended family really loves (and even I will have a bit of the pineapple because it is just about the best food ever!!!).

      Another thing, @New Sunrise, I didn't tell anyone in my real life I was quitting drinking. Since I rarely overdrank with a witness, no one other than perhaps my husband (and I'm not even sure about Captain Denial) had any idea of the mess I was in. Everyone has just assumed it was another step in the continuing evolution of NoSugar, which in fact is the truth but this step was considerably more difficult than the others since addiction was involved. I'm more open about having quit now but I've never told anyone outside of MWO all the gory details. Sometimes when overindulging in general comes up, I comment that I tend to be all or nothing and on many things, I prefer nothing. They can draw their own conclusions. And if anyone gets up the nerve to ask, I will answer because I will assume they are exploring their own problem.

      Have a good day, Nesters!


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    12. #77327
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hola friends!

      Byrdy, wowza! I love your post about meeting up with your bro. So cool. Good luck with the aircon install.

      Yo Sunrise. Your weekend at home sounds like the sensible option from here. Look after number one which is you, then everyone else around us is ok.

      I bet that hike blew out a few cobwebs Pav. Hopefully not a kneecap! haha. I should laugh - Mr running man.......I want to tackle a half marathon one day (21k's). 10 k community runs are a good favourite for now though. An actual full marathon would be great, but i'd def need solid prep. 10-15 k runs are more my speed. A cross country kind of 50 k event could be an interesting challenge. A straight out marathon would probably leave my joints with some stress given the constant pounding of the road, but a cross country run/hike event i reckon whilst a challenge, is probably more doable. I like the personal goal vibe of stuff like this. In the meantime, lot's of different music styles, locales, and people/performances ahead this week. If i was drinking, i would've said no, no, no to super cool events and people this week. Who knows? I might find a wife! Raaaawkin.

      Take it easy out there. 216 days!
      Last edited by Guitarista; April 15th, 2019 at 03:03 PM.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      morning nesters

      Carl is healing well and seems to not want to amputate a limb as much now when he sees me. he loves his nana and although he will never replace mads or rupey he makes me smile and laugh.

      Sunrise, those thoughts of "i can drink" when you are alone are normal. It is up to you whether you do or not. I have quit smoking for 14 days now and i go to a smoking clinic. each time i go i always think beforehand that once i have seen them i am going to have a smoke as they will never know, the problem is i will know and that thought goes, its getting easier each day but has its moments. i am going to book into see a psychologist to learn how to deal with stress and not want to smoke. I need the tools in my arsenal.

      Lav, i hope you and the chickens weathered the storm ok. How did hubs go with his melanoma?

      Byrd, i am with you, my quit is my 150$ priority and this year has tested it extremely but lucky i have a great support network and MWO.

      G, 21k marathon, that makes me tired thinking about it. I did go and get a program from the gym yesterday, this body is not going to know what hit it! I do have a gammy leg atm though so need to take it a bit easy.

      well back to the grind of work, 2 more days till a nice week long break, much needed i know that.

      take care xx
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2018 - 5 years of living life as i should have done all of my life

      Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Ava, last Thursday morning I was getting ready in my makeup mirror and I spotted something NO ONE wants to see...a freckle that changed colors. This was came out of nowhere...it was DARK and had irregular borders, the whole works. My heart sank as I thought what I needed to do next. Dam, melanoma, I thought. DON'T PANIC. I took a deep breath and really looked at it. It was a spot of HAIR DYE from the day before! My scotts, it scared the white off my teeth! I think that took 10 years off my life even tho it wiped right off.
      Makes you appreciate LIFE even more! Byrdie
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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      Newbie's Nest

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good evening Nesters,

      Byrdie, I hope you are enjoying a cool house once again
      These little health scares get harder as we age unfortunately. I accompanied the scared & grumpy old man on his doc visits today. He will be having surgery for one of the spots on his back - date not yet known. They will also be looking at lymph nodes which means he will be injected with radioactive dye that will be traced as it works it's way to the lymph nodes. Depending on the condition of the nodes, it (or they) will also have to be removed. At that point people are treated with immunotherapy (not chemo). All in all things could be a whole lot worse so he's lucky I'd say. I'd also say that if he had LISTENED to me years ago & had those things looked at we wouldn't be talking about all this stuff now. LISTEN TO A NURSE, haha!!

      Ava, glad Carl is healing. I'm sure his perfect puppy personality will keep you smiling for a long while to come.

      G, very nice on your 216 AF days, yay!! You seem to have your dance card full these days too

      NS, Easter is about food here too, nothing wrong with that!

      Hi there Slo, Narilly & Wags!

      New Sunrise, don't do the guilt thing, it serves no real purpose. My husband & I worked weekends & holidays all through our careers. I worried about my kids thinking we were weird for celebrating Thanksgiving on a Friday or Saturday, Lol. Turns out they had no worries whatsoever. This is the time you need to take care of you. A few months down the road, when you are healed & felling stronger in your quit then think about taking a trip somewhere.

      Pav, I hate to tell you but I lost my ability to sleep when I was 42 (think hot flashes & mood swings). 23 years later I still don't sleep well & I have no idea why. You just get used to it I guess.

      Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest.

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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