• Amused
  • Angry
  • Annoyed
  • Awesome
  • Bemused
  • Cocky
  • Cool
  • Crazy
  • Crying
  • Depressed
  • Down
  • Drunk
  • Embarrased
  • Enraged
  • Friendly
  • Geeky
  • Godly
  • Happy
  • Hateful
  • Hungry
  • Innocent
  • Meh
  • Piratey
  • Poorly
  • Sad
  • Secret
  • Shy
  • Sneaky
  • Tired
  • Wtf
  • Page 7814 of 7819 FirstFirst ... 6814731477147764780478127813781478157816 ... LastLast
    Results 78,131 to 78,140 of 78188

    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #78131
      Forum Subscriber.
      This user has no status.
       
      I am:
      Happy
       
      NoSugar's Avatar

      Join Date;
      16th January, 2013.
      Posts;
      7,542.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      @KENSHO, the paragraph you wrote above shows that you absolutely belong here and we are so glad you are . You have written posts that have touched my heart and reminded me why I've made this choice. What you wrote is exactly what I've been trying to say about addiction not correlating with amounts. That head game you describe that I also played was much harder to take than any of the physical consequences. I was referring to the Kensho I "knew" when you first joined and I probably was jealous, thinking that if I only had a couple drinks a night (and did not have the psychological fall out), I wouldn't need to quit.

      Welcome, @SoberJ! You sound like you have definitely changed your mind . I would have to live to 110 to have the second half of my life alcohol free so that's probably not going to happen! It's a good goal to shoot for, though! All the best, NS


    2. #78132
      Forum Subscriber.
      is a friend of long standing
       
      I am:
      Happy
       
      Byrdlady's Avatar

      Join Date;
      4th February, 2010.
      Location;
      NC.
      Posts;
      9,677.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hey all!
      Welcome, Sober! So glad you found us! I also poisoned myself the first half of my life (if I plan to live to 102). I finally got hold of myself and so glad I did. You'll be glad, too!
      Kensho, the behavior you describe is ME! I hated all that sneaking. Of course, during my 30's and early 40's I was having 2-4 drinks until it escalated and there at the end I would sneak in my closet and take 7 gulps from a hidden vodka bottle. Heck with a shot, I had 7 gulps. I was actually shocking myself. All I can say is thank goodness you had the good sense to quit before you did get to a state of ruin! No matter the amount, we're all in the team photo, so we are thrilled that you are here and love what you have to say and share. I think you are one of the smartest people I know for so many reasons.
      AL isn't good for anybody! In any amount! It affects every cell in our bodies. Every single one of us should thank our lucky stars that we are taking the steps to slam the door on that crap! I am 3095 days sober and I wouldn't trade all the AL in the world for my quit! I worked too hard! At $10/day, I've saved over $30K. Can you imagine how grateful my liver is for not having to process all that? Holy moly!
      Daisy, I was thinking of you today! OMG, what a coincidence. You sent me THE most beautiful card when my dad passed away, I'll never forget that. Sit close, we're going to begin a new day! I'm so glad you're here.
      Hugs to all, Byrdie
      Last edited by Byrdlady; July 12th, 2019 at 04:09 PM.
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
      Tool Box
      Newbie's Nest

    3. Thanks daisy45 thanked for this post
      Likes NoSugar, Lavande, wagmor, Guitarista, Pavati, KENSHO liked this post
    4. #78133
      Forum Subscriber.
      This user has no status.
       
      I am:
      Awesome
       
      Lavande's Avatar

      Join Date;
      13th February, 2009.
      Posts;
      21,351.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good evening Nesters,

      Getting rained on in a big way again, not that we needed it, oh well!

      Kensho, your description of your drinking behavior made my skin crawl a little because that was also me!
      Whatever it was that drove us here we are fortunate & blessed to have found each other & a calm nest to get our bearings. We never have to worry about repeating those self-defeating behaviors again because we don’t drink!!!

      Daisy, sorry you decided to drink again but I’m sure happy to see you back in the nest!
      Even after 10+ years I still check in daily, it’s my routine. Get your plan updated, cover all your triggers & stay close

      Sober J, hello & welcome, glad you found us!
      Closing the door permanently on AL has helped so many of us find the life we were meant to live. Check in daily & ask if you need help.

      NS, I quit at 55 too so we’ll have to keep each other company until we’re 110, LOL

      Hello to Byrdie, Pav, G, wags & everyone checking in tonight.
      Have a safe night in the nest!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

    5. Thanks daisy45 thanked for this post
    6. #78134
      Registered User.
      is Just being, and being
      un-hung....
       
      I am:
      Geeky
       
      STEADFAST's Avatar

      Join Date;
      22nd May, 2013.
      Posts;
      264.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi Everyone,

      Lots of great posts here, many of which resonate strongly with my own feelings and experiences. I look back and shudder at the lengths I went to (and what a daily struggle that was) to hide my problem. So glad to be free of all that.

      And the posts regarding unsupportive partners ring very true. I love @Pavati's take on her situation. Have been thinking about this a lot, and I know when I accept my relationship for what is is (and more importantly, what it isn't) it seems to take the pressure off both DH and me. This is an ongoing learning process.

      Welcome to the new Newbies, and best wishes to all,
      Steady
      AF free since April 29, 2013

    7. #78135
      Registered User.
      is Cloud Chasing
       
      I am:
      Awesome
       
      Matt M.'s Avatar

      Join Date;
      10th August, 2014.
      Location;
      Texas!.
      Posts;
      721.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      Quote Originally Posted by KENSHO View Post
      Here's how.
      Believing that drinking 2-4 a night was not a good thing for a woman (and it's not), I would often have a little in front of the family and friends, and sneak the rest. I would stop at the store on the way home and drink 1 in the car that no one noticed, then have one that people saw at dinner, then I'd sneak 1-2 more. I wanted it all night, and I HATED that I wasn't happy with 1-2 drinks - so I hid anything beyond that. If we went out to dinner, I had a drink in the open, then at 10 or 11 pm at home, I'd run down to the basement while the husband was taking the dog out, and take another shot. OR, while doing boring work, I'd get 1-2 shots mid-afternoon, then when the family came home, act like I hadn't had any (because who does that?!) and then act like the one at dinner was my first. 10 sneaked shots in a week makes a noticeable difference in a bottle of whisky, so once a week or so, I'd have to buy little ones and refill the bar bottle. Then it became easier to just get the little ones (or the big ones) and just hide them in my desk drawer and work closet (or pantry bottom shelf, or underwear drawer or car middle console) to sip from. Maybe I'm a lightweight, but 3 drinks made me pretty buzzed and 4 made me slur. I'd be sure I stood away from neighbors when borrowing a cup of flour at 5pm, if I'd already had 1-2 shots so they couldn't smell it - then I'd have my ceremonial 3rd drink at dinner to appear as my first. I didn't want to be the girl asking for that third drink at my mom's house, so I'd wait until they went downstairs to play pool and I'd sneak a shot of whatever they had in front of their liquor cabinet. I WANTED alcohol with my every cell, thought about it constantly, every single night, until I went to bed, and sometimes after I went to bed. I was really good at stopping at 4 because I felt like shit the next day and had to function and run a business. But I obsessed about it and hid drinking more then about 5 drinks a week - which means that I hid and/or snuck about 16 drinks a week. For 10 years.

      I didn't know you all wondered why I was here. Maybe I don't really belong. It was never about "drinking" way too much for me, it was about "wanting it" way too much, and hiding it.
      If there was any doubt on whether or not you belonged here, the information you
      just
      shared solidifies that you definitely do belong here. Once again I said "me too!" after reading the ways you hid and connived regarding Alcohol. I've never given a thought of whether you should be here or not, I can say I had no idea regarding your history in until now.
      Stay hard my friend
      Last edited by Matt M.; July 11th, 2019 at 10:12 PM.
      AF 08~05~2014

      The past has no power over the present moment.

      There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! ~ Me

    8. Thanks KENSHO thanked for this post
    9. #78136
      Registered User.
      is Finding my way...
       
      I am:
      Happy
       
      wagmor's Avatar

      Join Date;
      7th September, 2016.
      Posts;
      1,127.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      KENSHO - Personally, I never wondered why you were here - I could hear the disordered drinking behavior in so many of your posts, especially the sneaking of extra shots or things like that. I noticed it because it was so much like what I did as well. As Pav said, it isn't about the amount a person drinks (although that can make things worse) it's about how it controls us. People who are "normal" drinkers do NOT sneak al, and do not finagle ways to get extra without others knowing. I am super glad you're here and am SO proud that you kept coming back after trying to moderate and you seem to now be so solid in your quit.

      SoberJ - welcome to the nest!

      Steady and Daisy - glad to see you both

      Pav - I love how you described that your life is better with your husband, even if he isn't your "everything". This sounds very healthy, as it's unlikely that any single person could be everything for someone else, and it's unfair to both if either partner expects that.


      I'm exhausted and falling asleep as I type so I'll say goodnight for now. Happy Fridays to everyone!
      Last edited by wagmor; July 12th, 2019 at 10:29 PM.

    10. Thanks Pavati, KENSHO thanked for this post
      Likes daisy45, Guitarista, Byrdlady, Lavande liked this post
    11. #78137
      Registered User.
      is Changing......
       
      I am:
      Cool
       
      daisy45's Avatar

      Join Date;
      8th October, 2010.
      Posts;
      3,100.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good morning everyone and thank you so much for the welcome back......I was definitely nervous but now I feel like I'm home and safe.....as long as I put in the hard work!
      It only takes one drink to undo any length of sober time.....learnt that one the hard way. After a good year or so in AA, I did just that and it's been turmoil ever since, trying repeatedly to quit again.....if I hadn't lifted that first drink.....my body cannot afford to go down that road again.
      I went to the gym and for a swim last night...felt good and occupied my first night. Heading back for more this morning.
      Have a great day....will pop in later.
      IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
      Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

    12. #78138
      Registered User.
      is Trying to find time for myself
       
      I am:
      Crazy
       
      BelleGirl's Avatar

      Join Date;
      31st October, 2011.
      Location;
      Mid-atlantic USA.
      Posts;
      434.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      Just popping in to say Hi to all and welcome back to @daisy45. I remember you from way back and like you, after a good length of sober time I picked up drinking again. It has definitely been harder this time, however now my husband doesn't drink (I guess for me, but he never said as much) and a few days ago I ceremoniously threw away a $50 bottle of booze that has been hangin around tempting me. Hubs won't even notice it's gone. Anyway...lets give this our very best so we truly free ourselves.

      @KENSHO...your drinking behavior sounds very much like mine was the first time around. now that my husband doesn't drink, there isn't that drink at dinner to 'hide behind', so all of my shots had to be hidden. I did exactly the same things. one drink out was never enough, so sometimes I 'primed the pump' with a shot or two before going out. it all sounds so crazy now. But to people like us I guess it made sense at the time?????

      Hope all have a great day. I'm off work as I had to take hubs in for a colonoscopy. all went well, except for a few polyps. I'm overdue for mine and the dr busted me right there in the recovery room. since I have a good unhung day and no work I might give my orbital sander a try on my new project. Wish me luck...because I don't have the slightest idea what to do with power tools, except for perhaps a cordless drill.
      Last edited by BelleGirl; July 12th, 2019 at 04:17 PM.
      BelleGirl

      7/17/19.

    13. Thanks daisy45 thanked for this post
      Likes KENSHO, Guitarista, Byrdlady, Lavande, wagmor liked this post
    14. #78139
      Registered User.
      is Grateful
       
      I am:
      Cool
       
      Pavati's Avatar

      Join Date;
      3rd November, 2013.
      Posts;
      4,149.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, ALL:

      Yes, Kensho, that's what I meant - not the amount the FEELING and actions. My mom STILL thinks I didn't HAVE to quit. She said to me yesterday - "I just figured you like to be best at what you do and that included not drinking." Whatever THAT means. I, too, snuck "fill ups" and made my drink stronger than others' if I were bartender. I bought my booze from different stores to hide the amount. I chose restaurants if they had a full bar, and often didn't go to movies because I didn't want to stop drinking for two hours on a night out. (I guess now I wouldn't have to with all of the theaters that serve booze). People say to me frequently, "you're SO STRONG" for quitting - I feel like an imposter. I STILL feel shame and like there was something wrong with me that I let myself become like this. I will say that 5.5 years in, I am much kinder to myself, but not completely. I didn't mean to say you didn't belong here - I was trying to say exactly what you said. I am very glad you're here and have appreciated your presence and support.

      Matt - I am with you. I actually am not totally honest here about everything because I am paranoid about the Internet, and I feel shame and regret if I start enumerating my alcohol transgressions. But I am choosing to look forward, without regret, and with my friends here at MWO. I was once expressing regret at something I had done in my much earlier life, and my dad said to me - "But look where you are. You love where you are, and whatever you did in your past helped you to get here." I'm not ready to say I'm GLAD I am an alcoholic, but I will say that the experience has made me appreciate my life more, and I am so very happy to realize that I can enjoy life to its fullest WITHOUT booze.

      Welcome SoberJ! Yes, for me 1 did hurt because it led to more. I hope you settle in here and experience the freedom I have felt. Take care of yourself and have a plan for the "witching hour" when you will crave something.

      Daisy - happy you're here!

      Happy SOBER Friday. No tickets to Boozeville here!

      xo
      Pav

    15. Thanks Matt M., daisy45 thanked for this post
    16. #78140
      Forum Subscriber.
      This user has no status.
       
      I am:
      Happy
       
      NoSugar's Avatar

      Join Date;
      16th January, 2013.
      Posts;
      7,542.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Re: Newbies Nest

      "But look where you are. You love where you are, and whatever you did in your past helped you to get here."
      I'm also not yet "glad" to have been addicted @Pavati. When I was new here, FallenAngel told me she was grateful for having gone through all she had. I thought she was batsh*t crazy then but I've started to understand. For one thing, I've met all of you and by being involved here, learned to be honest and reveal my weaknesses. Doing it here has enabled me to be a little more vulnerable in real life, improving my connections with the people in my life. I'm a work in progress on that front. Surviving addiction also has to be one of the most humbling experiences a person can have and I know I'm much less impatient, intolerant, and demanding than I used to be. I know I've pointed this out several times but I love the image of not recovering in one dimension to being the person we were before we became addicted but rather in 3 dimensions, spiraling ever upwards and outwards, becoming all we can be.
      Last edited by NoSugar; July 12th, 2019 at 02:03 PM.


    Similar Threads

    1. Newbies Nest
      By renewal in forum General Discussion
      Replies: 206
      Last Post: January 10th, 2016, 12:59 PM
    2. first time in newbies nest
      By mg72 in forum Just Starting Out?
      Replies: 24
      Last Post: December 8th, 2015, 04:37 PM
    3. Newbies Nest! for bac
      By Ne/Neva Eva in forum Medication Research and Support
      Replies: 502
      Last Post: October 23rd, 2012, 11:33 AM
    4. Newbies Nest! for bac
      By Ne/Neva Eva in forum Medication Research and Support
      Replies: 0
      Last Post: March 1st, 2011, 05:26 AM
    5. Newbies Nest 12th Jan
      By neurogenic in forum Just Starting Out?
      Replies: 10
      Last Post: January 14th, 2009, 02:13 PM

    Bookmarks

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •