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  • Page 7817 of 7852 FirstFirst ... 68177317771777677807781578167817781878197827 ... LastLast
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    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #78161
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Morning nesters

      No internet atm except with my phone. changing providers and of course they promise the world and deliver nothing. waited at home most of day yesterday for the new modem and nothing so am at work and will leave early to wait at home again. i told everyone i at work i would work from home and then got home and forgot i had not internet. oops.

      Steady and G, i have pm'd you both. i am excited.

      LC, glad you have had a nice time away. bring out your tools when you get home, remember nothing is worth drinking AT.

      Belle, how is your sons holiday going? i hope his travels are safe.

      Lav, i cant stand humidity, it sucks the being out of you. My mum used to live in Queensland and i rarely went to visit, it was just awful.

      well back to work, take care xx
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2018 - 5 years of living life as i should have done all of my life

      Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      It's great to hear you are doing ok @lifechange! Like Ava said, please be sure to have some plans in place for when you get home. That is when it is so easy to let our guard down. When I was trying to quit, I would make it though biggish events (cookouts, parties, even a 2 week vacation at the beach!) and then drink when I got home. Even when I didn't really want to. Addicted brains can be so dang weird.


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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Greetings Nesters,

      Can’t change this hot & humid weather so I went out for a haircut to lessen the frizz factor, haha!!

      Ava, I was just telling the girl cutting my hair today that I am a slug all summer long & when fall & winter weather kicks in I come back to life. I am a summer hibernator (in the AC), a complete opposite of a bear, LOL
      I hope you get your internet back soon

      NS, I don’t even want to think about some of the stupid sh*t I did back then, ugh. I like this brain much better

      Don’t know what everyone is up to in the nest but I hope it’s something good
      Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hey all. I’ve had a series of really odd coincidences and wonder what is going on. Did I tell you I was on hold the other day and the theme to The Mary Tyler Moore was playing, I said, gosh I haven’t heard that in 40 years! Then I went to look something up (using MSN as my search engine) and a picture of Mary Tyler Moore popped up with a quiz on how many faces you could recognize from the 60’s! How odd! Then last night I had a bizarre dream about my step daughter dating this guy we used to know and he and his brother (the guy from the next booth at the trade show I went to last month) owned two restaurants in a resort town (Hawaii maybe?). The restaurants were on opposite sides of a block. The restaurants had a snack area in the bar that served meats and fruit relishes. They also had a gift shop and my step daughter bought a ceramic whale (a Knick Knack). This morning when I checked FaceBook, that whale came up in my Facebook feed! That was freakish! How in the heck??

      106 heat index today. It’s absolutely awful outside.
      Hope everyone has an easy evening!! ByrdieBE1C1658-AC91-4776-B5DE-94A6EBEB27D0.jpeg
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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      Newbie's Nest

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      I've been MIA for a couple of days and it shows. Drank some wine the last 2 nights. Not much...but enough to rev up the inner beast. Oh I have lots of reasons/excuses...but I hereby declare that today 7/17 (I like the ring to it and easy to remember) is my new and hopefully last day 1. I just cannot do these things any longer. I have not been hungover or even ratted out by hubby. There was a wine bottle open in the fridge for a recipe hubs made. it was just too tempting...with the stress of my son being away with friends and then Mother in law being taken to the hospital the other day with a low blood pressure issue. I need this accountability. now more than ever. This really doesn't have to be so hard. just don't drink. especially that first one. I need to walk away. one of my goto escapes was to take a walk outside. with the heat and heat indices where they are, that is not an enticing choice. perhaps I will walk from the booze and work on my drop leaf table I'm prepping for painting. I need a plan and plan to have one before noon today.

      Son seems to be doing ok on his trip so far. of course I am worried sick especially when he lets his phone go dead just when I want to text him to see if all is well. @available, you asked about Piper last week. Things went pretty well at the vet. Surprisingly her bloodworm came back good but they want me to collect urine for testing. I'll have to wait for my son to return because he is the only one willing to hold the jar while I express her bladder.

      I need to read back and gain collective strength from all of you. even though I haven't been falling down drunk, slurring or doing stupid things, I feel like this is do or die. 7/17.

      Time to get things started today. Off from work, but plenty of things to do at home including taking daughter to follow up with GI doctor. Boyfriend starts a job at a pet supply store today. They have been spending every available minute together, usually at my house and I am starting to feel bad for his Mom not having him around. They need a little space from each other and hopefully this job of his will help. He needs he gas money.
      BelleGirl

      7/17/19.

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    9. #78166
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, All:

      Belle - I'm glad you came right back. I found the passage below - sent to me from a friend right when I first quit - to be helpful. I was searching for my "why" and my unique situation, and I found it helpful to give in to the community. (I think it is from the AA Big Book)

      We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
      Basic Text, p. 22

      "But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

      So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

      Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

      Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.


      I'm not saying you were making excuses to us, but I found I was making excuses to myself - it was a hard day so I "deserve" a drink. Well, we all have hard days and life gets lifey. I had to be honest with myself that I was not so unique. Maybe that will help you reframe the way in which you gave yourself permission to have that first drink. To be clear - I'm NOT judging you, just giving you MY experience.

      I have cold summers here, and I know the heat is stifling, but I would like to sit outside at night in shorts and a T shirt once in a while. I can't complain, I know, especially because I don't want any 106 heat index... Hope you all stay cool and un-frizzed.

      Happy Sober Hump Day!
      Pav

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    11. #78167
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      @Pavati...thank you so much for posting that passage. I've read it 3 times so far and get more from it each time. Yes, I am a pro at making excuses to myself. There is so much I need to let go control of...and most of those things were easy 'excuses' for me. I think this passage would be a wonderful addition to the Toolkit. I know I would like to easily find it and revisit as necessary.

      I used to live in Upstate NY where the summers were beautiful. It was just the 7 months of winter that were hard for me to get through. I cannot complain either. One of my favorite things to do when I have the time (and don't have to be up early) is to take long walks late at night in the summer. The dark and the quiet bring my soul back to peace after any type of day.
      BelleGirl

      7/17/19.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      @BelleGirl, I promised myself (and was determined to start keeping promises to myself!) that I would post here and wait for a response or text a sober friend before drinking, no matter what and no matter how many reasons I told myself I had for taking a drink. Just that pause can be enough to stop what for us has become an automatic habit in response to just about anything! And you definitely will get the response you need (and, I think, want) to hear if you'll just wait for it. I'm so glad you came right back and didn't let this evolve into a bigger deal. xx


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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Morning nesters

      Belle go outside, the heat will make you forget a drink, take some cold cold water and appreciate that you can be outside, so many cant. I think for me learning gratitude was the hardest. What did i have to be grateful for? i had to lose my best friend in the whole world (al), the one that understood me, the one that made me forget, my best allie in life but al was also the one causing my problems and until i said goodbye and started to look at the best side of life then i would be forever in its grip. now i wake up grateful i am sober, grateful i have my health, grateful just for being above ground really. I didnt think i could deal with life without al, but its doable. I did 100% need to be accountable and thus why i came here, i needed the tools to keep me on the right path. Im now over 100 days sf and i have taken on the same tools to stop smoking. its been so hard, i didnt drink on my way to work, i didnt drink at lunch time, i didnt drink on my way home, i didnt wake up and drink, so retraining my brain was hard. i cant have one smoke, if i do i may as well have 100, like i cant have 1 drink ever. We all have stops and starts and i just became tired of it all. All the brain crap, the guilt, the shame the mind f*ck that al gives. We are all a work in progress Belle and you will do this. Focus on the positives (even when you feel there are none). I remember walking behind mads with a kidney dish to collect her wee, it was funny now i think about it, the sense of achievement i felt!

      Still not internet, what a suprise, now i have no order number. oh give me strength. This has gone from 1 day to the modem being delivered to 3-5 business days. of course we had to disconnect our old plan before we changed over. The positive is i am getting a good nights sleep.

      Pav, great quote, i so had it worse than everyone else, no one got how bad my life was. then i stopped drinking and really my life wasnt that bad and isnt.

      take care x
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2018 - 5 years of living life as i should have done all of my life

      Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good Morning

      I am back AGAIN. I just cant seem to shake this demon. I have the worst headache and feel sick. I am just over destroying myself with alcohol and the damage it is doing to me and my family. My son said the other day I love wine more than I love them.

      So here is to day 1. I have a Dr appointment this afternoon to go back on my antidepressants but thinking something to curb the alcohol abuse might be better.

      Enjoy your day everyone.

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