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    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #78701
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good evening Nesters,

      I’m another enjoying an uncomplicated life - for the most part anyway
      I remain grateful each & every day for my AF life, no matter what’s going on.

      LC, sounds like you just proved to yourself that ‘a few drinks’ didn’t help your anxiety situation, am I right? I know we’re all led to believe that but it’s bad information, especially for the likes of us. Glad you are right back on plan, you can do this!

      Wags, I no longer have the energy to work like you, haha!! I used to work some insane hours, the money was good but I think it contributed to my eventual downfall. Turns out we are nothing more than human beings!! Good luck

      Pauly, we all know there’s no such thing as relaxing on a beach (or anywhere else) when there’s an 18 month old present, LOL

      Kensho, crockpot pork sounds good, enjoy!

      NS, nothing worse than seriously disappointing ourselves - even when it’s a dream or waking fog. I haven’t done that for a while, thankfully!!
      I hope you feel better soon!

      Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    3. #78702
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      is just another dreamer strumming
      a guitar
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Quote Originally Posted by lifechange View Post
      I don't want to lose myself again.

      Anyway, my plan is to stay on track and not let one mistake lead me into hell.
      W'dup nesters. Yo LC! Right on. The past does NOT have to define us. It is not written in stone that we are destined to booze it up forever. Our destiny is up to us. I am the boss of my thoughts, feelings and life direction for this moment and this day. Or at least i am the boss of how i respond to life events/situations/people. Really i am responding to my perception of these things. It's a total inside job. Have a beaut week mi amiga.

      I suspect our Super chefs here would rack up the ratings if yiz had a cooking show!

      Do what you love today. Big waves to evabody.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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    5. #78703
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      LC - glad the "prep for a presentation" suggestions were helpful, but sorry to hear about the drinking. Thanks for telling us though - that way we can better support and help you get back on track. Seems like you made some good reflections about how you thought it would help and how ultimately it didn't (and might have kept you from an even better time). Those thoughts are part of what helps you make different decisions in the future. You've got this!

      Lav - I do work like crazy for a few weeks, but then it usually cycles down and is light again, so that's definitely the trade-off. My work isn't exactly seasonal but it ramps up and down with each major test date. There used to be only 4 per year but now there are about 6 major ones and 4 minor ones. I'll have a somewhat easier load from now through late Nov, and then it should really ease up until early Jan. It works well for me most of the time but I know it wouldn't be a good fit for a lot of people.

      Hellos and waves to Pav, Pauly, Ava, G, Kensho, NS and everyone else. Hope everyone who is feeling under the weather bounces back soon!

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    7. #78704
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good morning, Nesters,

      NS wrote and suggested that I go back to spending more time in the Nest again, regardless of my journaling and how busy I am with work. I think that's a good idea because I do feel shaky again. It's true Gman, that my past doesn't have to define who I am now, in the present.. but I'm feeling quite frustrated with myself at the moment. With everything I've learned and with all the work I think I've done, I decide to drink to calm anxiety..?? I feel like a real dummy.
      Anyway, this will pass.
      The workshop I'm doing this weekend is in London and the people I'll be working with love to drink. So I need a super tight plan and will make sure I have my phone with me at all times so that I can check in here or message someone. After that, I've got a quiet Autumn planned. Last year I wrote in my wall calendar, at the top of November, "Don't make too many plans!!!"
      I'm in need of quiet time.

      ok. off to work. Wishing all of you Nesters a lovely day.xx

    8. #78705
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, All:

      LC - glad you posted here and sorry you drank. I know for me the alcohol just caused MORE anxiety in the long run.
      Quote Originally Posted by lifechange View Post
      Last year I wrote in my wall calendar, at the top of November, "Don't make too many plans!!!"
      I need to remember this - I think this is one reason I dread the "holiday" season. I end up making too many plans and going to too many parties when all I really want to do is stay home with a good puzzle and a cup of tea. I have decided that I'm both an introvert and an extrovert. I LOVE my friends and I think a lot about how grateful I am for them, but maintaining those friendships does take time - to be there and be a good friend. I also know that I really need to re-charge in quiet alone time. Always a work in progress. Stay close, LC. You can get through London without drinking - you'll feel a sense of accomplishment.

      Yes, toddlers and the beach is not relaxing. Well, toddlers and anywhere is not relaxing. But I'll bet it was fun!

      Kensho, any good slow cooker recipes to share? I do love coming home to a cooked dinner. I made chicken chili in my slow cooker. Put the chicken thighs in with salsa, lime and spices and then added the beans and veggies when I got home. It was very good.

      Happy SOBER Hump Day!
      Last edited by Pavati; Today at 08:42 AM.

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    10. #78706
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      is Changing my thinking cuz the
      same old thinking leads to the
      same old drinking
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Morning nesters,LC yep posting here is a big help,I journal too but it's different when we're needing support to have a group that can jump in and read our writings Pav,yes it was alot of work watching the baby but very fun and I've wished for the past two weeks I was there instead of here,think I'm getting Vegas'd out,I'll hafta see where this city is a couple of years from now,there's just too many people moving here,it's getting expensive and it's dusty all the time! Was looking at where my youngest daughter is in Oregon and wow talk about expensive! Don't think I could swing Portland it's nearly as pricey as California,waves to all and wishes for a great AF day
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    12. #78707
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Quote Originally Posted by paulywogg View Post
      I journal too but it's different when we're needing support to have a group that can jump in and read our writings
      There is a reason there are so many support groups out there. Heck, our nest-mom @Byrdlady belongs to 3 that I know about! Humans are social creatures - our group is much more than the sum of the individuals in it.

      I tried several times to quit drinking on my own to various degrees of success but ultimately let myself down each time. I needed something bigger than me - this group - to make a commitment to. I didn't value or trust myself enough to carry that load. You all carried it for me and I didn't want to let you down. Enough time sober and I didn't want to disappoint the slowly re-emerging NoSugar, either. Now I'm just glad I never need to drink again and have a brain healthy enough to make the logical choice not to do so.

      But... I know I generally forget 'the bad' and am inclined to believe the big stories I tell myself, so I'm still here 6+ years later. I want to be accountable to you. It takes some time but really, not that much, and it is much less than the hours I wasted in self-recrimination and daily recovery from the night before. It is a 'life job' like stretching and brushing my teeth. I want to be part of that body that is bigger than the self that others can hopefully become accountable to and find their ways out.

      I think 'giving back' is the right thing to do in the moral sense but it is so much more. I want for every addict the freedom that comes from quitting. It is so sad to remember the years I wasted, awash in fear, and so want to help spare anyone from that.

      Alcohol gives you nothing that isn't already within you. There is no ingredient in a drink that eliminates anxiety. Drinking enough just dulls you enough not to think about the thing that makes you anxious. You can do that on your own anytime. Let that thought GO. Just because you think something doesn't make it true and it is pointless to think about things that just make you feel bad. Thinking about being anxious doesn't make you less anxious - it just feeds the anxiety. Tell yourself, "I can handle this", and you will.

      I'm glad you're back, @lifechange. It sounds like you made a mistake and learned from it. Instead of thinking about it and telling yourself you can't be trusted, make a positive plan for the upcoming weekend and think about that. I used to visualize upcoming challenges and "see" myself handling them (and feeling good about it!). Then when you're in it, you can just do it.

      And if something comes up that you didn't expect, fall back on the "But I don't drink" mantra. No matter what happens, you don't drink. xx, NS

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