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    Thread: Newbies Nest

    1. #78941
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Morning nesters

      LC, i think as we grow older the dynamics of our whole life change especially without al. What i used to love to do pissed, i dont do anymore, like pass out. My advice to you is to just not drink. No matter how sad you are, how down you are, how happy you are, the only thing you do every day is not drink. The rest will fall into place in time. Its lovely that you have had such a nice time with your mum.

      Pauly, i have started Happy Hormones, vitamins and supps and a total change in diet. This menopause is doing my head in so i need to work on my insides. vegetable juice every day which is more like a blended meal in a cup, ha ha. its doable so i wont complain. Giving up coffee for 8 weeks will be my struggle but i have only a morning cup now anyways. chamomile tea is my new go to.

      Kensho, how much you drank is not of any concern to me and im sure other members have more worries other than how much you drank. If they did question it would be more about being honest within ourselves to fully gain acceptance and mind peace. It is a journey to realise this, like sobriety in itself is and i found this more in my 2nd year. We are here as a support group to help people and what we choose to comment on involves everyone on the nest. Everything we do is our own choice and our own making. I know being nearly 6 years sober that i could not have done it without the support of MWO. There is still a lot of healing to do after a year of sobriety. Im up to my 6th and still healing from what al did to me and others around me. I will still listen and learn from others on here who have shown me the way. I am still growing into this life albeit that it is my life now.

      Had a lovely weekend, my daughter came over and i bought us all matching overalls for xmas day. red checked flannelette and so comfy. i bought a desk to put together and it may have taken us 3 hours +++ but we had the best laugh and time doing it. Its the small things in life. She also got her birthday present which was a few weeks late. Good thing i now have money to pay for this instead of drinking and smoking it.

      Well best get to the salt mines and start the day.

      Take care xx
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2019 - 6 years of living the way i should have always done

      Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

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    3. #78942
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Quote Originally Posted by KENSHO View Post
      I was fully on board with the alcoholic title and acceptance until a couple of people admitted they felt my consumption didn't "qualify" (or that I was minimizing or lying about it), so where does that leave me if I was telling the truth? In my own personal "in between". I know how alcohol made me feel
      Hola friends from over here. 'Tis monday morning and happy to report that the earth is still revolving.

      Friend Kensho. One thing i know from my time on this revolving, beautiful, mystifying planet is that if booze is a problem for me, then it is a problem. Only i can know this. What other people think is none of my business. Remember former member on the Army thread 'One to many'? She used to drink maybe a shot or 2 of vodka once a week on a saturday night. That was it! It was a HUGE problem and issue for her. So eventually she stopped. I recall it wasn't real easy either. For her, it impacted on her happiness, how she interacted with her kids, husband, and the world. So! If my drinking is a problem for me, then it is a problem. That is all.

      What a fab weekend of music and people here. Connection! That's what life's about.

      Nice one LC!

      Hope things go smoothly with your classes Wags.

      Narilly, hope u had a beaut weekend in the sun.

      No gross activity to speak of here. At least not including booze.

      Big hello to evabody.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

    4. #78943
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      @KENSHO: yes, your situation was that bad. If you’re hiding bottles and sneaking drinks —it’s bad!!
      Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good evening Nesters from an extra grateful Lav. Grateful to NOT have 400 lbs of tuna in my freezer, Haha!!!
      The guys got home this afternoon, tired but pleased with their fish-less fishing trip

      Quiet & rainy all day here. I can see mud puddles in the chicken yard so they’ll be a real mess by tomorrow. Glad we’re finally getting some moisture here, it had gotten extremely dry. Perfect fire conditions actually!

      Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    7. #78945
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Thank you G, Ava, Slo. I think it’s the AV voice just trying to weasel back in. I need to spend some time remembering - I’m painful détail - how miserable I was. Nothing anyone can say will change my truth... I hated being a drinker. It’s scary how fast thinking can shift. Mine has drifted like the fall leaves lately. Time to build up the reinforcement.

      Night night.
      Last edited by KENSHO; October 21st, 2019 at 12:15 AM.
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

    8. #78946
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good Unhung Monday morning, Nesters!

      Just posted yesterday evening, but there are few things I love more than an Un-hung Monday morning.. The week in front of me and I'm ready for it. Actually a bit tired as I awoke at 1am and couldn't fall back to sleep.. but otherwise good.
      Ava, that sounds like such a lovely time with your daughters! Well done putting that desk together! We had a similar experience a few weeks ago with an armoire.. almost killed it! You must be saving LOADS of money by not smoking! I know I am by not drinking! I'm not "saving".. I never do.. but I notice I have way more money than I used to. I much prefer buying concert tickets, going out to dinner, etc. If I'm adding conservatively, I've already won 300 euros by not drinking.. Good for you on the new nutrition plan! We just made a smoothie for my youngest's school lunch and she was a bit disappointed with the taste of the celery.. I may have added a bit too much.. So are you not drinking any coffee for 8 weeks?
      Reinforcement, Kensho!
      Haha, G-man! I can just imagine..

      Big hugs to everyone and a lovely Monday!!

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    10. #78947
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Morning nesters,Kensho,I must not have understood your post were you worried you were gonna drink cuz you don't feel you have a problem or were you just thinking out loud? I'm confused haha,tired brain LC,yea it's nice to not be hungover but allergies almost make me feel like I am complete with the bloodshot, burning eyes! This "fall" seems really bad for my whole family,I thought we were sick with a cold but maybe it's a combo of both,I've been saving alot of money too,part saved part spent on whatever I want haha,Lav,dunno what you'd have done if they had caught a tuna! I have no clue what fresh tuna tastes like only have had canned and even that's rare,I try to like fish for the health benefits but barf=not for me,they hired another crazy lady at work that they're gonna fire today this is person number 4 in the past year and I'm sure not the last,the "manager" just doesn't seem to know how to pick anyone decent,hope this one goes easy and don't cause any problems,I'm sooooo glad I'm not in charge! Wouldn't need/want that headache,waves to the gang,crazy morning puppy is trying to chew my basket I keep shoes in,it never ends! Have a Fab day and don't drink-its gross.
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    12. #78948
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Good Morning, All:

      Kensho, for sure when we compare ourselves with others is when we get into trouble. When I hear Byrdie's tales I can safely say that I never snuck booze in a hairspray bottle, but I'm SURE I did something she never did. Like G says, it is your own line you create and your own relationship with alcohol that matters. Any ideas what is causing your thinking to drift? It helps me to look back at posts from the early days and my journal from before a quit. NOT a happy camper. Cultivate gratitude, think of all you've gained (for example, I've heard you talk about your presence with your kids)! What do you need from us to stop feeling drifty??

      Mr. G - glad to see you pop in with pearls of wisdom. I hope you're doing well.

      Lav - send that rain my way. As usual, we really, really need it here.

      I'm sure I've saved money, but more than that, I've saved calories! I can eat more delicious food without gaining weight - so stoked about that!

      Happy SOBER Monday.

      Pav

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    14. #78949
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Yes, Pav, the hairspray bottle was a classic. EVEN knowing that hiding it that way, and gulping it in my closet wasn't enough to make me stop. I knew it was bad, but I was too afraid of being without it to quit. Just the THOUGHT of being without made me scared. I told myself I would just quit some time in the future....not NOW.

      I believe that if you are dependent on AL, you are best served to abstain. The quantity is irrelvant. I didn't start out drinking a bottle and half of wine, my tolerance increased over time. I started out drinking only occasionally. Then more occasionally. Then daily. The more daily. I knew I had a problem at two drinks a day. It's only a matter of semantics, I was an alcoholic (or problem drinker) from the beginning (and I knew it). I think we all know in our hearts of hearts what our truth is. Normal drinkers don't give AL a second thought. They can quit with NO problem at all, they can take it or leave it....they don't keep track of how long it's been since they drank, it's just a NON thing. I am very aware of my last drink. I'm aware of what others drink. I do not have control when it comes to AL. I am an alcoholic. My best strategy is to avoid it at all costs. Moderate drinking is considered 7 units (drinks) per week for a female. I blew past that in my late twenties.
      If you are happier not drinking, then don't drink. That's what I'm doing, so far, so good. 3197 AF days...and counting! Hugs to all, Byrdie
      Last edited by Byrdlady; October 21st, 2019 at 10:35 AM.
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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    16. #78950
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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Pauly, just thinking out loud. I don't always word things well. I haven't drank, but have thought about it more than I used to. A person made one comment concerning me belonging here and my alcohol voice took it and ran with it. The voice was just waiting in the darkness for a crack, and that comment, as benign as it was meant, was a crack that the voice totally took advantage of and it told me, "See! You really could be a drinker... " I did not drink - but I have not completely sealed that crack off yet, so it lurks in the shadows and regularly tells me lies like, "You weren't as bad as many alcoholics," or "You don't really fit, so you might as well drink". The crazy thing is that I KNOW that wasn't even the point of the comment, and I really respect those it came from - I just let it get into my head. Further evidence that it is just waiting for a green light of any kind to weasel its way back into my head.

      Since then, I have had that little voice sitting on my shoulder whispering to me from time to time, saying "You're not really an alcoholic... your life wouldn't really fall apart if you drank," just like that cliche of a devil on one shoulder. Good thing is that on the other shoulder the other side is saying, "Your life is so much better," and "you hated being a drinker," and "You know better than that other AV voice". When I first quit drinking, I fought that voice all the time - but the pain I felt from drinking was much more recent. NOW, 22 months since my last drink, I haven't spent enough time remembering the reasons I quit, in painful detail.

      Sorry to post so long, but it has been a problem with me since this summer. I had sealed that voice off - and now it lurks. That's all. And I think what I have to do is go back and maybe read old posts and try to remember all the reasons I quit. It's like I KNOW in my brain that I hated drinking, but I don't FEEL how much it sucked. I need to FEEL how awful it was and shut that stupid alcohol voice up again.

      I apologize for calling that comment out again, but I've not been able to figure out how to totally deal with it so I'm just being honest. It is my OWN thinking about it, and I recognize that. Thank you all for being so supportive. I could not do this without you!
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

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