Newbies Nest

Julia - CONGRATULATIONS!!! Sending you best wishes as you begin your second sober circuit around the sun.

Pav - I have seen My Octopus Teacher and I absolutely loved it. Anyone here if you haven't seen it, do it! There is so much in there. I'll keep you posted on the "hang out with dolphins" job search :D


I've been thinking a bit more about my relationship with al. I realized that the theme running through all of the chapters is not being happy with reality. What I mean is, when I drank, it was usually an effort to try to change reality in some way: to soften the harsh edges, to feel more comfortable in settings where I otherwise didn't feel like I fit in, or to literally not feel whatever was really going on at the time. Then, when I first tried to quit, I had an eye on moderation instead of abstinence. I denied what my reality of drinking really looked like, and I tried to fool myself into thinking I could moderate, or that my drinking wasn't that bad, or whatever. Again, a disconnect from reality.

What has come from this reflection is the acknowledgement that sometimes reality sucks. And that that's part of being human. And although there are some things we cannot necessarily change, there are others we can, including how we react to things and what we learn from them.

So my new mantra for 2021 is going to be something about acknowledging reality in the moment, and then finding at least one positive morsel to focus on. Instead of trying so hard to deny or escape it, I'm going to work on fully being present and also still trying to frame the parts of it that are under my control.

I'll keep you posted on how that goes. Happy first full week of 2021 everyone!

Thanks all, I will check in from time to time. I have never drank vodka and never in the mornings and only sometimes during the week. I just want to use the day count on this site so I can track my days off cause I feel better when I am AF. That's all. Have a good new year and I'll pop in from time to time.

Evening nesters

Congrats Julia on your anniversary, job well done and keep up the great work.

I finally worked up the courage to go to the dentist. It was doable with sedation and valium. Now my wallet and mouth hurt but both will recover.

Glad everyone made it through New Years sober and happy. I have another week off work and am wondering where the time went and why did i not start doing what i wanted to do earlier. Oh well, next holidays maybe ha ha.

Nar when do you start work?

Kensho, yes appreciate your daughter now, before you know it she will be 33 and you will get a text message or phone call and visits on occasion. I never thought i would have any peace and quiet and now some times i wish they were young again but god they were full on lol. Maybe hide in the toilet, surely she would not stick her fingers under the door at her age!

take care xx

Good Morning, All:

CONGRATULATIONS, Julia! Glad you're feeling so great.

I, too, tried moderation. My mantra was "I have to learn how do drink more so I don't have to quit forever." Even when I first came here my though was 90 days sober and then I'd be "cured." Of course I didn't say that because I knew everyone here would tell me how moderation didn't work for them, and I WAS DIFFERENT by golly. I was going to figure this one out. We'll, that set me back about a month, and I came back with my tail between my legs. Acceptance was freedom to me - I couldn't drink and have the life I want. I hope you find what you need, 3BOW, and I'm here to tell you that sobriety is not nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be - it is freedom.

Wags, I think I discovered that I'm an extroverted introvert or something. I realized when I quit drinking and after all this time that social situations are actually hard for me, when I thought they were easy (a little booze made them so...). I have figured out how to navigate sober, and now I don't have to be the last one standing on the dance floor - I can go home when I want!

Good luck with the new job, Nar. Hope it goes well!

Happy Sober Monday - back to work and here's to a good new year.

Pav

Julia, BIG hugs for your soberversary!!! WOO HOO! Another spirit saved and allowed to flourish. I agree with you, no point in going back now, life is SO much better!

Wags and Pav, we saw Octopus teacher. It about killed me to see an octopus in the fish section of Whole Foods this past weekend! Made me consider being vegan! HA!

Byrdie, it was hard to wrap my brain around there being something I couldn’t figure out or control or make right… but that’s what addiction does.

LAV, my heart really wasn’t in the holidays either… from Halloween, on, life just feels so different.

Wags, I love your thoughts on escaping reality. I think the secret to happiness is being able to find the positive in any situation - or at least be able to tolerate and appreciate it, as a normal part of life that strengthens us, stretches us and allows us to grow.

Awesome 3BOW. Glad you are feeling better.

AVA, oh yes, they stick their fingers under the door! But I hear what you are saying and will continue to love on them - I just need to ask for a little closed door time. :)

PAV, acceptance was hard for me too. I could have argued to the others in my life for a long time that I didn’t have a big enough problem to quit - because no one saw me drink more than a couple drinks. But when I was honest with myself, which is all that matters, I knew what alcohol was doing to me. And I knew it would never be different. It is something special, to decide to take care of oneself, regardless of what others think, and make necessary changes.

Here we are on Monday… I really have to get my work to-do list in order and begin. Not feeling motivated at ALL, but time off always ends. Have a great day everyone!

Happy Un Hung Monday everyone.

Nice to hear from you Julia, so happy you are doing well.

Now my job starts next week, one more week off, yippee!
Thanks for the good wishes.

We had 8 politicians who left the country over the holidays while we were told not to travel or visit relatives etc. People here are just livid and are asking the Premier to resign. I am really pissed that these entitled people travelled when we are all being told to stay home, its B.S. One of the politicians that left was the one in charge of emergency management and the roll out of vaccines. We are behind in the roll out and there was a lag period in distribution while she was out of the country. WTF! We are in a pandemic!

I go to the dentist tomorrow Ava, its not my favourite place to go but I love my dentist and actually like seeing him so that makes it easier. Hope you do ok today.

Moderation, I agree with you Pav, "sobriety is not as scary as I thought it was going to be". It is so nice not to worry about trying to moderate. "I will only have 1 drink, 2 drinks...what's the point? I will just keep drinking."

Have a good one evabody. I woke up at 7am this morning with no hangover, its a new year and its going to be good.

Don't drink today.

I started watching the Octopus Teacher with my husband and he fell asleep so I didn't finish it. It is really good though and I will finish it when he goes back to work.

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see a little sunshine in my neck of the woods today. Too many dark days in a row leaves me feeling blah.
Still haven’t turned on my work brain yet although I am getting requests so I’d better get myself in gear soon :)

Wags, your description of using AL to escape the reality of what was going on at the time sounds exactly like my situation. I didn’t like the way my life plan wasn’t working out & was helpless to do anything to change it at the time. So the next best thing to do was to go numb & just wait it out. Sounds stupid now but that’s what I did for about 10 years. I’m lucky to to alive, honestly!

Ava, glad you saw the dentist. Self care is vital for us :hug:

Hello to 3BoW, Pav, Kensho, Narilly & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

Ava - good job on getting yourself to the dentist. As challenging as that was, I think you probably saved yourself from something worse down the road if you had let things go much longer.

Pav - yes, an extroverted introvert sounds just like me! I always test right on the cusp of those two on personality tests, with a very slight leaning toward extrovert but I honestly think I've shifted somewhat more toward introvert as I've gotten older. They say that doesn't happen, that people don't change in that way, but I disagree to a certain extent. I definitely get energy from being around other people -- I just don't always want to actually interact/talk with them!

Nar - we've had some politicians here do the same thing. And then of course we have the pols who just treat it all as a hoax and flaunt their maskless travels as "being patriots." I wish covid and karma could get together just for a day. That's terrible to say and I hate feeling that way, but I just wish the people taking all the risks were the ones suffering the consequences instead of innocent others. Hope all goes well at the dentist for you tomorrow!

Lav - glad you were able to turn things around on drinking. Reality sometimes isn't a barrel of monkeys but it beats the alternative of not "being" at all!

Kensho - that movie taught me a lot about octopi that I never knew before, and it sure showed how complex they are as creatures. I would be very sad to see one in a seafood market!

Hellos and waves to 3BoW and everyone else stopping by the nest. Have wonderful days and eves!

Hi, All:

Wags, this made me laugh.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wagmor

I definitely get energy from being around other people -- I just don't always want to actually interact/talk with them!

---

That about sums it up. I love love being with other people, but I also love love being alone - I need both.

Nar - that's outrageous. As you all know, our Cheeto is trying to steal an election. I don't think he'll be successful, but it has me full of anxiety wondering what stunt he's going to pull and which a'holes are going to support him. The Georgia Sec. of State is NOTORIOUS when it comes to voter suppression and even he knows it is outrageous. As I just read - being human is hard... How'd the job go?

Hope the rest of you have good sober days.

Pav

Happy Un Hung Tuesday everyone.

Well, I start my new job on the 11th now which is fine. Another week off, woohoo!

I have been watching the news about your election in Georgia, it is really interesting and scary at the same time. I wonder what is going to happen over the next 2 days.

Wags, that is true about not wanting to talk to other people but just being around them is enough. I still have to watch the Octopus Teacher, maybe tonight.

Well, off to the dentist now with my momma. Talk later.