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Thread: Newbies Nest

  1. #82511
    Forum Subscriber. Slo's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    You all are right in that I need to up the gratitude for my quit. It is dangerous to slide into deprivation mode. I must remember that alcohol is NOT my friend at all -even if everyone else is drinking it and talking it up! And part of it, like Byrdie was saying, is adjusting to and getting back into the swing of socializing and attending large gatherings again, now that restrictions are easing. I hope I might get to the point of enjoying social occasions AF. My social anxiety problems do tend to get in the way of that. After all, that’s mostly why I drank in the first place.

    Lav’s is the place to be in June, with fresh strawberries then blueberries ripe for the picking!

    You get a double win out of your study course, Wags: better able to understand your students, and qualifying to teach something else! Plus keeping that brain dense and sharp.
    Your hot weather is coming our way next: it’s supposed to be 90 degrees on Saturday for daughter’s high school graduation party. But that’s ok because at least there’s no rain in the forecast. I need to stay focused and get this thing planned and launched.

    Thinking of you all with wishes for a good AF day for us all around!
    Last edited by Slo; June 2nd, 2021 at 08:18 AM.
    Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

  2. #82512
    Forum Subscriber. NoSugar's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Wow, I'm really impressed that you are going through this voluntarily, Wags!! I figured it was required continuing education or for a license. When I retire, I would like to take art courses at our community college, learn new skills, and just enjoy the process.

    I was so achievement/grade-oriented during my 20-some years of education, I didn't really enjoy the experience at all. The author of the book I told you about, The Valedictorian of Being Dead, so clearly describes how toxic it is to constantly be driven to be "the best". Our son was pretty achievement-oriented, too, and I was really relieved one day in high school when he told me he had decided to be a 94% (low A), instead of 100%, student. I wish I had had that much insight! Might have prevented some problems that appeared years later...

    Have a good day, Nesters!


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  4. #82513
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    Re: Newbies Nest

    LAV, those must be SOME storms to knock out your power! My son is eating the house too… I think he is growing because he tells me he is hungry at 10pm. He’s tired, so that’s not boredom eating! He is the tallest in our family of shorter people.

    Narily, I read a big article about the history of alcohol use in the USA. I guess we have always drank too much, compared to other cultures. It was called “America Has a Drinking Problem”. I found the stats that validated me, but did see a little too much that made me want to drink too. So I quit reading it.

    NS! Are you headed toward us? You will LOVE a getaway. Just pack sweaters! We are trying to get our kids to CARE about school. We are pushing them - but ask that they just get C’s and above. D’s show a lack of effort, and lazy is also not the way to go.

    Byrdie, thanks for the vivid reminder about how awful it was to hide and crave and gulp…

    Wags, 1.5 miles is great! Your wife is making progress! A farmer’s market and gardens sounds lovely. I LOVE both of those things - they make me happy!

    AVA, your soup sounds good! Sorry your neck is hurting on the other side. Neck pain is terrible because it is affected by seemingly every movement we make. Mine has all but gone away, since I quit gluten and corn. Isn’t it funny when our pups give us attitude? Sorry you had to go to work, but glad you’re getting vaxxed. Gratitude is the key to unlimited happiness.

    PAV, there is nothing better than clean sheets. After a shower. Truly.

    SLO, you are so much better off than drinkers. There is NO SAFE LEVEL of alcohol to consume. I’m hearing that more and more now. Glad you had some fun and NO hangover!

    We camped this past weekend - and it rained most of the time. Lucky we have a small pop-up. My husband had a large confrontation with his dad and mom, who were up there for part of the time. He said he couldn’t be around the dysfunction any more. They are classically “stuck” people - co-dependent, abuser and enabler. It’s sad. I started out like that with my husband, until I stopped drinking - then everything changed. He now knows he will lose me if he acts like his dad - and he’s actively working to reverse conditioning.

    I miss you all. Trying to get up earlier now that it’s summer to read and post. We head to CA to visit BIL in a week or so, and they are all drinkers (and he said he bought edibles, which make me uncomfortable) - so best to stay connected! Hugs to you all!
    Last edited by KENSHO; June 2nd, 2021 at 08:56 AM.
    Kensho

    Done. Moving on to life.

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  6. #82514
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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Happy Un Hung Wednesday!

    I have a day off today, woohoo!!! I also have an interview with the Health Region I am working for so hopefully that goes well. It would be SO good to be able to get out of oil and gas AND maybe get a company pension.

    It is going to be HOT here today +31C which is around 92F. We get all kinds of weather here which is great.

    Hope your neck pain gets better Ava, I was going to make a joke about a 'pain in the neck' but can't think of one right now. I know that it really sucks to go to work when you don't feel well xx.

    Byrdie, you make such nice treats. I think you should go into business!

    I changed my sheets last night, aaaah...nothing better than that. It is the small things in life. Eating fresh strawberries from Lav's garden along with Byrdie's chocolate and having clean sheets while beiing sober-sounds very nice!

    Gratitude SLO, I am grateful to be sober everyday xo.

    You are sounding great Ken. Yes, all these dysfunctional family relationships are strange and it is so hard to change patterns.

    Have a beautiful day everyone and Don't drink today.
    Narilly

    "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
    "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

    AF April 12, 2014

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  8. #82515
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Good evening Nesters,

    Kinda cloudy most of the day & now the sun arrives, haha!
    Sounds like a super damp day tomorrow so inside projects it will be for me

    Wags, so you are challenging yourself, no one else involved? Good for you!! It is good to be able to relate to your students. I was always an anxious test taker but survived. The worst was sitting for exams for 2 days in our state capitol to get my nursing license. You can bet your a$$ I protected that license with my life during my career, haha!

    Kensho, good to see you. I know my kids are happy their kids school year is ending soon, Lol. Of course then there’s the problem of filling up all that free time with something worthwhile over the summer. Good luck! I’m pretty sure all 3 of my grandkids are going to be taller than me. I’m 5’6” & the 12 yr old is already taller, haha!

    Slo, you did great so be proud of yourself. All these social things get easier with time, I promise.
    Gratitude has been my most powerful tool & feels like a trusted close friend. Stay grateful

    NS, I’ve taken a few online classes with our community college since I retired. Good to keep the cobwebs out & fun too

    Narilly, it would be great to start a new career post pandemic, good for you! I hope it works out.

    Ava hope your neck is better, I know the pain.

    Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  10. #82516
    Registered User. available's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    morning nesters

    quick check in as working but having a read while drinking my coffee.

    Wags, much admiration, i was never any good at sitting exams. i feel i must have had anxiety at an early age as they petrified me. Good luck.

    Pav, the government was slow of course. I went with my daughter to get tested yesterday as she is still working and has cold symptoms. im hopeful to still get surgery next week though we are in lock down again for another week.

    Kensho, we used to always camp with our kids as could not afford anything else and they still talk about the great time they had, so many stories and good times. lots of rain too on occasion.

    Nar, good luck with your interview, is it doing the same work you are doing now? oh i put clean flannelette sheets on the other day and they were divine but since i get hot flushes, they are on and then they are off. its getting cold here but beautiful days. 31 is hot, your temps are weird.

    Lav my neck starts off fine and then diminishes through the day, i would love to retire but not for another 40 years ha ha.

    Slo, i hope your daughters graduation goes well for her. I hope your sister is doing better and trying to not drink. its very sad to see that person and realise that was your life also and just how good her life could be if she stopped. half the battle is stopping, the other half is staying stopped.

    take care xxx
    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2020 - 7 years of living and it just keeps getting better

    Ava is a SHPFFFDU ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder) - thank you NS

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  12. #82517
    Registered User. wagmor's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Ava - I can really understand the neck pain and headaches you're talking about. Ever since my car accident I've had trouble with both and it's almost always my neck as the root cause, even when my head is the thing hurting the most. I hope you're able to get your surgery next week. And thanks for asking about our pup. She's doing very well these days. We can definitely tell she's aging (11 or 12, not totally sure since she was a rescue) but her pneumonia has totally cleared and she's been very stable for the past few months.

    Kensho - you sound great! Glad you were able to go camping, even with the rain. Where are your favorite places to go? I've done a fair amount of backpacking, climbing, and camping in Colorado and hope to get back there soon for some more adventuring.

    NS, Lav and others - yes, I'm taking the test solely on my own motivation. The possibility of teaching it in the future is a good carrot, but it's mostly that I want to have very fresh memories of what my students are likely going through and I want it based on my own experiential learning. I think it helps me empathize and sympathize, but it also gives me very practical first-hand knowledge of things like what it's like to take an exam through remote proctoring for example. Before COVID, most of these big tests were given a handful of times a year at test centers or universities or in hotel banquet rooms etc. With Covid they have almost all adjusted their platforms to administer the tests online, but they also have a remote proctor AKA "somebody watching the test taker through their web cam" to ensure no cheating is taking place. I want to really be able to speak to what that experience might be like and how to best prepare self/home/office/etc in order to minimize the stress and chances of snafus.

    Nar - good luck with your interview! What is the job?

    Slo - happy graduation to your daughter and I hope the celebration goes well this weekend!


    So happy it's going to be cooler here tomorrow. We have no AC (most homes here don't) and anything above 85 F starts to inch toward unbearable.

    I'm a day or two late but Happy June everyone! It's PRIDE month in the LGBTQ+ community, and it's awesome to see how much things have changed in the past 10 years or so. Lots of work left to do of course, but day by day and inch by inch LOVE IS WINNING.

  13. #82518
    Registered User. Pavati's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi, All:

    Wags, you must be such a great teacher - to want to empathize, and to put yourself in that situation to help them. That's awesome. I will be able to retire from my long education career in the not too distant future and have thought a lot about what is next. I've always been drawn to nursing, so there's that. I also write some, so I have thought about doing that more formally. Or a MFTT? Theater? Art? There are so many things I want to learn about. I think ultimately I'll settle into art classes at the community college. Lav, I went back to school to get my Masters degree when my kids were fairly young - 11 and 8 - and we made it through. I spent one weekend day studying and many nights (after dinner). It was challenging but ultimately I thought it was good for them to see me work hard towards a goal and make priorities to get there. I don't think they missed me too much - I missed some little league games, but they didn't know I wasn't in the bleachers, and honestly - I didn't mind...Of course, a doctorate is a long longer process.

    Nar, good luck on the job. It would be good for you to be paying into a pension system, for sure. You sound great.

    Sorry about your neck, Ava. Hope it heals quickly.

    Kensho, glad to have you check in. This pandemic has been so hard on kids and some are just losing all motivation. My niece is in the same boat. I'm not 100% sure she's going to pass chemistry. Of course, I see that she can take it again and it will all be ok, but she is struggling. My just post high school son is struggling also. It is hard to watch. Because he's an adult I don't have a lot of control over it - which is hard for this control freak.

    I'm off. Happy SOBER Thursday Lav, NS, Slo, and everyone else I didn't mention. I am grateful to you all...

    Pav

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  15. #82519
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Greetings Nesters,

    A big storm just moved in so we’ll see how bad it gets. There’s a tornado warning 2 counties south of here, that’s concerning.
    I spent this afternoon going thru my fabric stash looking for materials to make 6 large dog crate beds for the Relief Crafters Group I joined a few years ago. I need 100% polyester fabrics (such as polar fleece) so these things are easily washed & dried. I have enough for 3 beds so far so that will keep me busy for a day or two. Keeps me out of trouble haha!

    Ava, I really hope your surgery isn’t postponed. I know you’re psyched & ready to go! Of course we don’t have any control over these pandemic related things, do we?
    There’s no way I could tolerate flannel sheets, ugh. These days I am sleeping much cooler on bamboo sheets, they’re all the rage

    Wags, your students are lucky to have such a caring & concerned teacher. I give you much credit friend
    Happy Pride month, big celebrations going on the the Philly area!

    Pav, I really don’t care what my DIL chooses to do, it’s her choice. She got her BS & Masters just recently & is barely using those degrees to teach part time. She’s got health issues she needs to be paying attention to right now in addition to the boys but it’s her choice. Taking care of her health has to be priority so she can do the rest.

    Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  17. #82520
    Registered User. wagmor's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Pav - those post-retirement options all sound interesting! I'll look forward to hearing what you end up doing. How many more years do you have before retirement?

    Lav - hope you stayed safe from the storms in your area. That's fantastic that you're able to help out with dog beds through the Relief Crafters Group. Sounds like a great way to use your skills and interests to help others.


    Happy Freakin' (almost-)Friday everyone!!!

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