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Thread: Newbies Nest

  1. #84201
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Good evening Nesters,

    Boy are we ever getting a soaking out there. Over 2” & it’s still pouring. That’s what happens after several days of 70% humidity, ugh.
    I’m just hoping the chickens decided to go inside, haha.

    Hyper, great job on 7 days! Keep up the good work, you’ll have no regrets. I have to say family can really be good friends or they can be the enemy. Our families have pretty much split & gone their own way. After the parents die off the ‘kids’ just don’t seem to care anymore. I find myself telling my grandkids things about growing up with 3 brothers & they don’t even know these people & never will. It’s a shame but it’s what they have chosen. Hang in with us - we are better family here in my opinion

    G, thanks but I definitely enjoy cooler outdoor activities haha. I seriously have little to no tolerance for heat anymore. Hope your weekend is good!

    Belle, like you i am sick to death of figuring out what to eat for dinner. A while ago I told my husband to decide what he wants or I’m not cooking Lol. Works out most days.

    Slo, you’re making new traditions this year, you decide how holidays will go. Frankly I grew tired of always being the one to invite people over & doing all the work. Fun for everyone else I guess but not so much for me. Covid pretty much ended all that heavy work on the holidays for me & I’m OK with that. I have also been waking at first light lately. Reminds me of working nights & feeling so grateful when the sky would begin to light up, Lol. Sounds like it’s time to have a window shade installed

    LC, hope you had a good day!

    Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  3. #84202
    Registered User. Guitarista's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hope you have a peaceful July 4 weekend Slo. Be gentle on yourself my friend. I have to be mindful of where my mental focus is going on such occasions, and redirect if necessary.

    Glad u got through Belle. The resurrection of the dinner plan in sync with the resurrection of Belle the warrior goddess who has taken back control of her precious life. No matter what no matter who. Take no prisoners. Your time is now (said in Sean Connery voice fro Highlander movie).

    Hiya LC! Have a great weekend.

    This sobriety lark really is such a head game. I can't always control my environment. Sometimes i need to create my own happy environment in my mind to operate from despite external issues, Victor Frankl style. It's up to me to focus on my bliss, the good stuff i want in my life, and to do something i love each day even for 5 minutes. Helps me keep relatively sane, hence sober and thriving.

    Big waves to evabody. Surf's up!
    Last edited by Guitarista; July 2nd, 2022 at 06:59 PM.

    'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

    Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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  5. #84203
    Registered User. wagmor's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi all, so glad to see so many people checking in sober, even when tempted or challenged. That's how we roll here in the nest: one day or hour or dinner at a time.

    Had a rough few days here in Wagland. Our pup woke up in the middle of the night last Tue or Wed trying to hack up a big wad of phlegm. She has a chronic condition that contributes to this but I've also done a ton of research to learn how to prevent and manage it about 99%. Unfortunately, that 1% rolls around a few times every year. The coughing isn't a real issue -- it's that she might instinctively inhale before the phlegm clears, and then aspirate it into her airway or lungs. We've been through at least 4 bouts of pneumonia in the past 5 years. So no more sleep for Wags that night, and pretty disrupted sleep ever since.

    I also think my dad is in the early stages of dying. He's almost 92 and has deteriorated quite a bit over the past 2+ years. But I've seen major changes in just the past 2 months and even more so in the past 2 weeks. I'm ok, but I know it'll be hard. In a lot of ways losing him will open up the wells of grief over losing my mom at a much younger age. I know that ALL of the "stuff" that has to be done or dealt with after a person passes will fall on my shoulders. I'm hoping to have a good few convos with my dad over the next few days to help get some additional paperwork in place and ducks in a row. I know that won't be easy for him, but hopefully he'll understand how much harder things will be for me if we don't tend to a few key things now. I'm planning to leverage the, "make sure your wishes and preferences are followed" angle.

    In spite of it all -- still Sober AF!

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  7. #84204
    Registered User. lifechange's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi Nesters!

    another quick accountability check in for me..
    we're off with bikes to the lake this morning.. there's a lot i want to respond to and will do so this evening..
    i will be on my own, and though i have absolutely no desire to drink right now, i will be careful and aware later on..! i know what my triggers have been in the past and a Sunday evening on my own, after a busy weekend and before a busy week is one i keep my eye on!
    @Hypernova, well done on coming here as often as need be to write and work through the difficult times! yaayyy to day 8! @Belle, day 11!!! will tell you later about my confrontation yesterday with my youngest!
    i'm really happy to have both of you here.. in these early days we need as much support as possible and it's great that we can be here working through things together..

    wishing everyone a nice Sunday and see you later..xx

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  9. #84205
    Forum Subscriber. Slo's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Happy Summer Sunday morning!

    Hyper, you have a lot of workdays coming up! I hope workdays are easier AF days for you, rather than more triggering.

    LC, you’re being very careful and aware. That’s the way! Bike rides…a great way to enhance your health & wellbeing…a great substitute for drinking as a way to “feel better”.

    Yes, G; Belle has two resurrections going on! Ha! Resurrecting the dinner menu plan will eliminate decision fatigue at a vulnerable time of day.

    Hope your feet & legs are feeling better, Lav, and ready for more soon with granddaughter’s turn! Maybe tour Hershey Park with her?

    I’m actually doing fine on this holiday weekend at home; the reason being that ex-HB only has half of the daughters & grandkids Up North with him, and I have the other half here! D3 & her HB (& her bun in the oven) are here visiting to attend her best friend’s family’s big summer party. And D2 couldn’t go up there this year because of her new infant. In the future they will all be up there without me over July 4th weekend, but I’m grateful that this first year didn’t end up that way. And
    I agree, Lav: I couldn’t totally enjoy those Up North weekends anyways because they would end up being a lot of work for me.

    So now I’m off for a bike ride soon, then over to see new baby Huxley!
    Last edited by Slo; July 3rd, 2022 at 07:03 AM.
    Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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  11. #84206
    Registered User. lifechange's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    hi Nesters!!

    "" I can't always control my environment. Sometimes i need to create my own happy environment in my mind to operate from despite external issues.."" love this Gman!

    i was thinking about what NS wrote the other day and what Belle reiterated a post or two back.. i also put up with an enormous amount of crap 'cause i felt so bad about drinking..from my partners in the past, some "friends", my daughters to some degree.. i somehow wanted to make up for the failure i felt i was and for mistakes i was making.. i remember thinking i couldn't trust myself as far as i could throw the lump i was.. i didn't dare ask for anything, i couldn't remember what i'd said or what others had told me.. i never knew in the morning what the girls' plans for the day were and basically said yes to everything.. they didn't like the situation and would have much preferred to have me sober.. BUT if a person keeps going back on their promises, is not remembering things you told them AND you're stuck living with them, you might start to take a bit of advantage of the situation.. i know i did with my mom back in the day! so it's taking some getting used to for us to find new ground but we're getting there. i think my youngest is beginning to believe that i'm really serious this time and is showing more love and trust.. gosh, i don't want to fuck up again! i'm not sure if there's more i can be doing to ensure that? i have been following my plan, have started to exercise regularly again, am checking in here a lot, am avoiding stressful situations, am getting enough sleep most of the time.. i hope that i'm creating new habits and that when the time comes that i feel pressure, for whatever reason, to drink, that i'll first of all automatically say, NO, then come directly here cause that's what i've been practicing.. use the tools i have to get through the moments or minutes or however long it takes to pass.. i feel great now, but i'm a bit afraid anyway.

    Slo, it sounds like you're having a nice weekend.. bike rides and a new baby.. can't beat that!

    Wags, i'm very sorry to hear about your doggie.. i hope she'll be better soon.. and your dad.. tough times for you and your wife.. you're in my thoughts..

    i'm thinking of you all.. as Wags reminded me/us above, one day or hour or dinner at a time, we work through the challenges and temptations.. what was the saying that Byrdie or Gman or both always said?? something about having to go through it to get to the other side? we have to go through..xxxx
    Last edited by lifechange; July 3rd, 2022 at 02:37 PM.

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  13. #84207
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Greetings Nesters,

    Well the sun arrived this afternoon after yesterday’s epic rainfall. Geez. So much of the west coast is in drought conditions & here on the east coast we’re soggy as hell, Lol
    Didn’t bother making any weekend plans & that’s fine with me. I could get used to relaxing if I really tried

    G, it’s so true that this is a head game. Over the years I have realized keeping everyone else out of my head to be very helpful. I know what I want & I’m not letting anyone interfere this time around

    Wags, sorry you’re sleep deprived & hope your pup is OK. I know it’s not easy.
    Having been executor for my parents, I know the headaches & it really does help a lot to have a lawyer & or accountant nearby to help get things ‘ready’. I still had to fight off my 3 brothers, despite a will that clearly stated my Dad’s wishes. They wanted what they wanted but they eventually settled down. I wish you good luck with all that. Sounds like your Dad has had a pretty good long life, he deserves a peaceful rest

    Slo, hope you enjoyed your bike ride & new baby today. My two younger grandkids are 11 already, seems like it’s been so long since they were newbies.
    Speaking of Hershey Park, we could be there in a couple of hours but maybe it would be better in cooler weather. I’m a wimp in the heat anymore. I have to think of somewhere shadier haha!

    LC, you’re doing great, don’t be fearful. I know what you mean but think of your quit as a commitment you’ve made to yourself & you don’t want to do anything to throw yourself off track. That was my thinking early on because I was so tired of disappointing myself. It makes a big difference when you acknowledge that YOU are in charge of your life

    Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  15. #84208
    Registered User. BelleGirl's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi Nesters,

    Sunday evening check-in. Hubs and son went to some family friends' house to watch a movie. Even though the wife is a friend of mine, daughter and I were not included. I guess this was a boys night thing. And I am really happy about that!!! I can think of nothing better this evening than taking doggie for short walk and then myself for a longer walk. Daughter went to a sleepover last night so I think she can use the extra rest.

    GMan, you reminded me of something my dad used to say. "My fun is in my own head". Keeping the mind in a good frame is so important, especially in these early stages of sobriety (with my pals Hypernova and LC). And always...to get through this thing called life. My dad was pretty happy most of his life, until his physical conditions kept him from doing things like puttering around the house, etc.

    Wags, sending healing vibes to your pup. They are like our children. We lose sleep over them and they make our hair go grey! But we love them so.

    I bought a bunch of options for meals at the store today. Just have to put that menu schedule together and this warrior goddess of menu planning (and sobriety) will be conquering!

    Slo I love a good bike ride. I need to pump up the tires on my son's bike (it's a nice one!) and get out on the bike paths when it is not like 90+ degrees.

    LC I love what you wrote about being the one that can't remember and breaks promises (or feels so guilty says "yes" to everything). Kids will take advantage of the fact they think you are not remembering things. I have seen it first hand from my daughter.

    and Lav, I though that rain was coming my way so I did not water my flowers...and it missed us all but like 10 drops. We even had flood watches in place, etc. What the heck?

    See y'all tomorrow.
    BelleGirl

    Alcohol does me no favors.

    Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

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  17. #84209
    Registered User. lifechange's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Morning Nesters!

    i'm pretty happy (though i seem to have picked up a bit of a headache during the night) to have 30 AF days today!! i haven't had 30 days (or anything very close) for the past 1.5 years.. then i had 35 days and was feeling great, quite happy.. and i stopped and thought before i drank, just one beer on a first date.. NO!!! but then changed my mind.. just one small beer.. that was a stupid decision and not one to repeat. somehow it's taken this long for me to get to the point where i could/wanted to really put my foot down and STOP the nonsense. i really don't have time for such shit.. i can't have the life i want AND drink (as Pav always says) and I CHOOSE LIFE! i've been putting in the work so i'm going to try not to be afraid of f****** up.. i've made a commitment to myself and i have control over whether or not i pour poison down my throat.. (thanks Lav!) that is one thing that is ENTIRELY my choice.. something to be celebrated each and every day, really, as there are so many things we don't have control over, right? i guess that's daily gratitude in sobriety..

    anyway, i'm so grateful for all of you in this Nest.. you've welcomed me back soooo many times and supported me and shown me love.. and i was really scared to sign on 30 days ago.. i didn't know if i could quit, i didn't know what you thought of me, i didn't want to admit that i'd "failed" yet again, i didn't know if i could commit to doing the work, to starting over from the beginning.. and you ALL took me under your wings once again and convinced me that i was worth it and that some day it would stick if i didn't give up.. now i know it's still early days.. but the fact that i've been enjoying most days (since around the middle of the 2nd week) and not "just getting through" and the fact that i'm truly looking forward to tomorrow and the next day and the next shows me that i'm on the right path..

    big hugs all around..xx
    Last edited by lifechange; July 4th, 2022 at 12:17 AM.

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  19. #84210
    Registered User. BelleGirl's Avatar

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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Good Morning Nestlings,

    Happy July 4th to the US people. It is quite stupid as it is just an excuse to blow things up. Last night my neighborhood sounded like Vietnam in the 70s. Constant explosions and smoke everywhere. I yelled out "hey people, it is only July 3rd" but of course nobody could hear me above the din.

    In all that racket I took doggie for a walk. She is afraid of almost everything but fireworks and thunder (big triggers for most dogs) don't phase her. Go figure. Then I dropped her off and took a nice solo walk while everything quieted down.

    During my walk I started thinking about July 4, last year. Husband was out of town with relatives, and I had to stay home with the kids. Because son was 21, he could buy fireworks and they were blowing them up right and left. AND I was DRUNK. Lord help me if I had to take anyone to the ER due to blowing off a finger. Stupid is not even a strong enough word. I ended up going to bed while they were still doing this nonsense, and honestly don't remember much.

    There will be no repeat of that this year. Perhaps I'll just get out my knitting or my book and sit in a quiet basement. Have to work tomorrow and as I have found out in the past year or so, there is nothing worse than having to go to work with a hangover.

    Lucky Day 13 here! Let's keep it up Hyper and LC!
    BelleGirl

    Alcohol does me no favors.

    Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

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