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  1. #1
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    Second first day- feel like poo

    :yuk: oh boy do I feel so very ill.

    I had been A/F from the 4/6/09-12/6/09 but went on a weekend break, I took and read the book that supports this site and I am ashamed to say that I broke my A/F

    Why did i do that? I felt so strong and so well - better than I have felt in a long time (I mean years!!!) I feel so very very very very ill today, do I feel so ill because my body had started to dettox?? I don't know

    I feel so dissapointed in myself, what should I do? I don't know if I need medication, I have only seen my GP about this once - feel scared to go again. Topiramate was listed in the book, has anyone had any experience taking this please? Feel like hitting my head against a wall - I mean I have two beautiful children, a lovely hubby and a wonderful Mum, my Mum is the only one who knows the way i trully feel (I keep it way away from the kiddies - they are the light of my life).

    feelin very scared very alone very weak very sad very stupid - i need to stop i am going to lose my job and then what will i do?? :confused

    i am thinkin i should go to the shop and get a beer (as i am workin from home) to make me feel less ill - how does my brain think that that wil help???

  2. #2
    Registered User. DeeBee's Avatar

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    Second first day- feel like poo

    Hi Hdb,
    It's not funny, but I loved your title -- feeling like poo!

    Firstly, you aren't alone -- we are here for you.

    I personally needed the Topa to help re-wire my brain. I took it for 6 weeks and it really helped me to change my habits. I did also take almost all of the supps recommended in the book.
    You need to arm yourself with every available tool.

    Hdb, don't go and buy that beer -- get yourself a cuppa of something healthy and stay close.

  3. #3
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    Second first day- feel like poo

    Hi hdb

    Don't get that beer. Drink lots of water (with fresh lemon in it if you have any).

    Stop beating yourself up. Changing such long established habit is difficult. No-one can take your AF days away, you did them and know how good you felt. You can do them again. Start today again. Think about what triggered this, what set you off with the first drink, work out a plan of how you are going to avoid the trigger next time. Write down how you feel now, it will help in moments of weakness.

    Have you got any suppliments. If not go to Holland and Barrat today (instead of the offie) and get Kudzo and L-glutimate. They are not expensive and I think they are making a difference to me. I understand about not wanting to go to the GP. I feel the same way, don't want that on my records.

    Sorry if you think I'm bossy! You sound so miserable but I want you to know you are not alone. Sadly, many of us know exactly how you are feeling today. The good thing is that you can change the future.

  4. #4
    Registered User. Tulipe's Avatar

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    Second first day- feel like poo

    Better a second first than only a first first...

    Hello,
    I think you are beating yourself up too much. Try to let go of this and get back up again. Of course, I'm no expert being only on my first day myself. Do you think in 2 days your body got completely addicted all over again? Hang on, pull yourself together, and give yourself a hug for trying.
    - Tulipe

  5. #5
    Forum Subscriber. dill's Avatar

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    Second first day- feel like poo

    Ditto what Blue said! Dust off! Here's a hand to pull you back up on the wagon!

  6. #6
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    Second first day- feel like poo

    HDB, Ick, sorry. I know how that feels. B beer won't make you feel better, well it might for the moment, but it will only prolong this. Besides, if you are anything like me, one beer will just be the beginning of another story. And then you get to do this yet ANOTHER time. Buck up, drink up (water) and get it over with. Eat healthy and often. Keep at it!

  7. #7
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    Second first day- feel like poo

    Thanks all for your wonderful advice- I just took myself outside and gave myself a good talkin to whilst I hung the washin out to dry (should bloomin hang myself out there to dry out to!) even though it looks like its going to throw it down. I am going to H&B today to buy myself the supps and a great big can of whoop ass! Its the same old problem that kicked it off - I think I have this demon under control and think that I can have one drink and that will be it! and before I know it it continues for the whole of the weekend!! I am abstaining now for 30days (cuppa in hand now - thanks DeeBee). I don't want to give up fully but if I have to I will.

    Did you get any side effects with the Topa Dee? It says that your hair might thin or fall out - thats quite scary isn't it? mind you so is where I am now!

  8. #8
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    Second first day- feel like poo

    Hey there, hdb. First off, congrats on going AF from the 4th to the 12th. That's a great accomplishment - and if you did it once, you can do it again.

    I wouldn't say you're going through withdrawals/detoxing, but rather have a heck of a hangover (which I suppose is like a detox, isn't it). If you went those 8 days AF, I think you would have done your withdrawal and detox at that time, but then I don't really know - I can only go by how my body works.

    I have heard that after going AF, the hangover or withdrawal from the next binge can be worse.

    That said, I agree with the above posters - don't get any beer at this point, but instead tough out the hangover and come out the other side. You can do it. Have lots of warm/hot lemon water, some tea (I'm enjoying chamomile - it's very relaxing), get out for a walk around the block, take a hot bath/shower, etc.

    You can make this a good week.

    ..... Edit -- Didn't see your post above mine ... sounds like you have a plan in order ... Way to take control !!

  9. #9
    Registered User. DeeBee's Avatar

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    Second first day- feel like poo

    YAY! Great job Hdb!
    I just love your sense of humour -- shows character.
    As for the Topa, the only real side effect I had was the Topa Dopa which really was more of a giggle than anything else.
    I only took the Topa for 6 weeks because .... well because I ran out of money and my med aid doesn't cover it. But funny enough only after I stopped taking the Topa I did 60 days AF so I think, for me, it just helped me get into a new, healthier habit of NOT drinking. It did also make the wine taste "off" and on many occassions I would pour myself a glass of wine, only to FORGET to drink it -- so yes, I think Topa is a wonderful tool.

  10. #10
    Registered User. Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)'s Avatar

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    Second first day- feel like poo

    Hi hdb, not much to add to the above posters good advice. I dont take topa so cant answer that question but I am sure that someone will. Its great you have decided to go for 30 days AF. Take it one day at a time and keep close to here. You have proven to yourself that you can do 8 so onwards and upwards, you can do it.
    Keep safe
    KTAB

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