Totally discouraged

[luvmypups]

This is my third try on Topamax, trying to quit drinking. I checked and noticed that I first came on here in 2007, which just depresses me even more...it's like a never-ending circle. Anyway, I started again Monday and have not quit yet, even though every morning I say to myself this is the day. I don't really have a physical craving...it's just something I feel I deserve at the end of the day...a lift-me-up, a pat-on-the-back you made it through another day kind of thing. Last night I was completely bombed by my third beer (I assume the Topa causes that?), but I HAD to go ahead and finish the darn 6 pack, of course.

I am even buying canned beer in the hopes that I will get they yucky can taste thing going. See, aren't I a good girl? It is very sad that a 60 year old woman is still acting as impulsive as when she was 16

Just venting here...and checking in....hoping I don't come back in another 3 years and see that nothing happened!

[K9Lover]

Hi Luv and welcome back!
I know how difficult this seems. I was a huge beer drinker myself, you said you had a six pack last night, that would have just been the beginning for me. The good news is that this horrible cycle CAN be broken. Keep reading and posting here so that we can continue to get to know you better. I'm glad you came back!
K9

[mama bear]

welcome luv....I love my beer too.......nut like my sweet friend K9 says..you can do this, but your head HAS to be in the right place....

[Guest]

I drank on Topa when I tried it too, and it gave me some very interesting and scary experiences.

In the end I got sober without Topa, or any other medication - so it's still possible for you.

[rebirth]

luvmypups I know that feeling of groundhog day. It's hard to break old habits. Just grit your teeth and take it one day at a time. x

[Dewdrop]

Hi luv,

Good to meet you, and just take it one day at a time you can do it and remember each day sober is a step further away from alcohol and the hold it has. It's not easy but really so worth fighting for.

Dewdrop :h

[Kimberley]

Hi Luv,

It may be that Topa just isn't for you - everyone is different. I am not taking any supplements at all - I have found that it is my MINDSET that needs to change rather than my biochemical make-up. That said, they do help some people, and different things work differently for everyone. Others take, Campral, Kudzu, Baclofen etc.

Don't give up! You just have to find a way that works for you. Any other things you 'deserve' at the end of the day instead of beer? A nice bubble bath, a walk, a gourmet meal maybe? - all come with the added benefit of a healthy liver and no hangover too

K x

[jodiex]

Hi Luv
I cant comment on Topa or any other meds, I went it solo, its day 15 for me and the support from the people here has been great, good luck on "our" journey to a better life. I could drink yesterday and today if i wanted to my kids (adults) are in Spain on holidays and no-one would know, except me, i worked 8-8 today and im home alone,if i can do it AF anyone can

[Sunnyvalenting]

check out the threads in the topa, bac and med section. They may hold some insight for you. Keep trying until it works. I finally got instant relief on baclofen.
Glad you came back rather than staying stuck out there.
Sunny

[Juju]

Thank you, all...it must have done me some good to voice it because tonight I did not feel any need to drink. My husband (who is supposed to be helping me haha) went out and I stayed home, normally my excuse to drink alone, but I decided to have a good supper and play some computer games. I am also very sleepy (Topa) and will probably have a hot bath and turn in early...so one day down...thanks.