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  1. #1
    Registered User. lil.michelle's Avatar

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    Really bad day well month

    You know what, i'm having a really bloody tough couple of weeks,a lot of stuff on my plate and i'm dealing with it all, maybe not so well but without drinking.
    Knowing this, my mum called up this morning and i could tell she wasn't happy and she complete ripped everything out of me. The hospital called this morning and said that they had noticemy pre op had run out so i needed to come down to the hospital on thursday and get it all redone. Fine but the hospital is in London and i'm not. It'll take me1 hour and 30 mins to get there by train and underground so that just added to my stress. My mum then screams at me that i never plan these things out and am not organised which is rubbish as i am as organised as people come. She was basically pissed off and took it out on me in anyway she could including slagging my hubby off. She knows i'm off the drink yet she does this and pushed me... she'll phone up later and ask if i've had a drink or beein drinking as she knows she pushed me right to the edge... she does this alot.

    The fact is yes, after all this time, i fancy a drink. I haven't thought about AL for so long and i've done so well but today has just pushed me. WILL I DRINK, NO but she doesn't know that. I just wished people gava a damn about me.
    Sorry.

  2. #2
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    Really bad day well month

    Michelle, I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

    When I get like that, I try to step back and take a look from a different perspective. You mother and your hospital issue may be instrumental in helping you solidify your boundaries and your resolve. You say you are not like what your mother describes.... then don't own it. It may just be her own "stuff" she's projecting onto you. You just mind your business and stick to your sobriety plan. You have lots to attend to. Try to relax a little and go with a flow. I often have to just trust that things are working out as they are supposed to even when they appear negative to me on the surface. You're doing very well... keep that up!! :l

  3. #3
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    Really bad day well month

    Sorry you are going through this rough time Michelle. It's hard when you are pushed to the limit as you were, you deserve a huge pat on the back. I know about thinking about drinking how it would make it easier for the moment, but remember - and it sounds like you are not wanting to drink - why you quit. It takes awhile for those around us to realize that we have really quit, especially in the early stages.

    Keep strong and maybe have a talk with your mother to explain how stressful her outburst was.

    :l

  4. #4
    Registered User. Gaia's Avatar

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    Really bad day well month

    Hi Michelle,

    Just sending some gentle support to you. It takes a while for other people to realize that our changes are real. Try to be patient, in the face of all this stress. It WILL get better.

  5. #5
    Registered User. Choochie's Avatar

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    Really bad day well month

    Michelle, even though my mother loved me very much, she really knew how to push my buttons. Here is a post by Sheri that might help.



    Do you ever feel like you give other people too much power over what you think and feel? Does how your mate/child/employer treats you make or break your day? Do you find yourself feeling immobilized by other people's expectations and demands? Maybe the people in your life have been telling you to back off and let them be who they are, or you're just a little too invested in what your loved ones do and say, as if it somehow reflects on you. These are the classic signs of codependence and the only solution to codependence is to embrace detachment.

    Through the meditations you will become keenly attuned to the difference between influence and control, a distinction that will help you determine which behaviors trap you and which ones set you free. This seeming paradox--embracing (bringing near us) detachment (separation)--holds the key to our inner peace and that of those around us as well.


    In her introduction, the author lists the following principles that have helped her to get a grip on the meaning of detachment which will be highlighted in the meditations along with many, many more:

    • Wherever we are, God is present.
    • Whoever comes our way is part of our learning curve.
    • We have the power to change how we think.
    • Appreciating the journey of everyone else is what gives my own journey purpose.
    • Peaceful feelings follow peaceful actions.
    • The chaos of others need not attract us.
    • No argument demands our participation.Acting, rather than reacting, is blissful.To witness another's journey is all we are ever called to do.Our teachers are everywhere.Silence may be the best response we can make in myriad situations.There are two kinds of business: your business and none of your business.Taking no hostages is the surest way to peace.

  6. #6
    Registered User. Wagoneer's Avatar

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    Really bad day well month

    Michelle - so sorry that your Mom is doing that to you. Mom's are great that way sometimes. I had an ex that did that stuff to me. You are a strong woman - and should be proud of yourself. Just keep thinking about your kids and what a sober mom means to them. I could say "don't listen to her" but we all know how hard that is. I wish you strength and hope that you resolve this with her. It's possible she has some issues herself and maybe your new found sobriety is bothering her? Maybe you are getting stronger and not needing her as much? I don't know - I could be way off base, so forgive me. Anyway, we are here for you - you are a great woman, friend and a great Mom. Remember that. It will get better.

  7. #7
    Registered User. mylife's Avatar

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    Really bad day well month

    Hi Guys,

    Michelle, I'm also having a rotten day. Luckily it hasn't been 2 weeks, but yes, I understand people who "push buttons" and how they can ruin your day.

    Choochie, thanks for the post. It helped me put things back in perspective. I have to say having a drink would not make me feel better today -- it would only take away the one thing that's going right in my life right now!

    Have a good evening all, and hope things go better for you tomorrow Michelle.

  8. #8
    Registered User. Choochie's Avatar

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    Really bad day well month

    ML - sending you big hugs - I know you're having a rotten day - I too am having a challenge, but we're going to be strong, right?! Your thinking sounds good - hold onto it.

    xx,
    Choochie

  9. #9
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    Really bad day well month

    Hi LM, I am sorry you have had such a bad day/ month. It sure sounds like your mother is really adding to your anxiety. You should be proud of yourself, that you did not go back to drinking - that most likely would have made things worse.

    It is strange how life goes, sometimes it seems to pile a whole lot on our plates at once. Hang in there, you can do it.
    Hill

  10. #10
    Registered User. lil.michelle's Avatar

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    Really bad day well month

    Yeah life has piled loads on at once HOWEVER, it's all coming together...
    We have found we can buy a new build and they will deal with the deposit.
    I've been thinking about my mum, and it seems the longer i'm sober, the stronger i am, the less i 'need' her. I think she sees that and pushes me without realising.

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