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  1. #1
    Registered User. oceansize's Avatar

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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Hi,

    I'm new here and have been snooping about for a few days.

    I've been addicted to alcohol and various drugs (weed, narcotics, opiates) on and off for 20 years. Alcohol has always been my go to drug of choice, and I have maintained a high functioning lifestyle that accommodates my hard drinking habit. It is not unusual for me to finish up 3 bottles of wine in a 24 hour period. At my worst, a few years ago when living in a rural area and suffering extreme depression, there could be up to 4 1/2 bottles over a full day. I'm not a large woman, 5'6, so that is a herculean feat to ingest that much booze and remain alive. I don't know how I do it, but I've been putting in a lot of effort over the past 2 years to understand why I do it.

    I recently bought some amino acid supps after researching their effect on recovering addicts and the results have been very impressive. Taking L-Glutamine, L-Tyrosine and GABA with Melatonin for sleep has enabled me to cut down considerably on my drinking days. I now drink only twice a week as compared to every day. I still can drink most men under the table (present company excluded :P), but when I do drink I don't get as "messy" and it is more out of habit or boredom than what used to feel like a daily necessity for the past 15 odd years. I really can feel a markable change in my attitude to drinking/drugging that has never been the case before.

    I have a long way to go, but I'm hoping to meet others here who are on the same path and might have some helpful advice for someone new to the possibility of living a moderated, or better yet, sober life.


  2. #2
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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Hello ocean...
    nice picture. Ah, when I'm on a roll I'll open a bottle of wine and continue through another open a third, and it maxes out at a 12 hr. episode. Interestingly I never appear to drink more then one glass an hour, but if starting at 5pm, and going to sleep (ok, passing out) at 5 am, that would be a 2.5 bottle night/morn. Can you imagine me trying to get to work by 9/10, coming up with an excuse! Amazing I have my job still...I'm on board with others to really make this the year. Sounds like you are getting better...

  3. #3
    Registered User. oceansize's Avatar

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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Hi Babysteps - I certainly can imagine getting up for a 9am start after a night on the tiles. I've done it far too many times myself! I can't count the days I've had off, or gone in late after pitiful excuses and been completely unproductive. Color me surprised for still managing to maintain my position also... it's all about that high-functioning addict mentality. I'm sure there's at least one or two close colleagues that are onto me, but they have their own crosses to bare and are too busy dealing with their own hang-ups to be concerned about mine.

    The supplements really do seem to help immensely, and I have some plans for 2011 also.
    * I recently deleted my Facebook account as there were a number of people from my past that I no longer need in my life associated with it. It always irked me that I had that tether to my past lurking about and it is a huge relief to let it go and move forward to a better future.
    * I have a supplement plan that has been working well for me so far and will become a daily routine.
    * I intend to allow myself only one drinking day a week and then move to no drinking days, allowing drinking only on very special occasions (if I even feel the need that is)
    * I will exercise and adopt a diet aimed at optimising my mental and physical health
    * Visiting the beach and getting into the water as often as possible
    *I'm learning to play the guitar, and I want to be able to play at least one song from my Led Zep tab book by mid year :P


    Best of luck to you

  4. #4
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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Hi Ocean and welcome to mwo! I too chose the supplement route to sobriety and I must say that it worked very well for me! I also incorporated, meditation and exercise and tons of reading. At first my goal was moderation. I did not honestly think that I truly wanted to life life without alcohol. It seemed miserable and perhaps not even possible for me. But I knew that I had to break free from the damage and unhappiness that alcohol was bringing to my life. After 28 days living alcohol free and feeling pretty good, I decided that I was ready to moderate......I was going to have one or two glasses of wine....(like ever before I had actually wanted only one or two glasses of wine!! NOT!) Well that first drink turned into 2 bottles, I felt horrible, the old demons returned....the next day, feeling sick and exhausted I came to the conclusion that moderation was not the way for me and I stopped drinking for good! This journey was not easy, it was a tons of work....but, today after 3 years of living without alcohol, I am extremely grateful and happy that I found my way out! Living without alcohol is so far from miserable, it is liberating! I cannot imagine wanting to live any other way!

    Best Wishes to You!
    KateH

  5. #5
    Registered User. brightlite's Avatar

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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Oceansize,

    It is great that you have a plan! I recently posted my plan and intend on moving forward with it. Keep coming back to post. Love the avatar!

  6. #6
    Registered User. paguy's Avatar

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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Hi Ocean and

    After abusing alcohol for 30+ years and making many attempts to moderate, I have thankfully been AF for 5 1/2 months now. Similar to what Kate expressed, my life has been liberating since I committed to becoming AF. Based on my personal experience, moderation was not for me. It was entirely too much work keeping track of how much I drank and I was always finding excuses to justify why I could have more to drink than I planned.

    For me, the key was to make a commitment and stick with it. And, I was doing this for myself - no one else.

    Best of luck to you. Stick with your plan and take advantage of this wonderful MWO community.

  7. #7
    Registered User. Wagoneer's Avatar

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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Oceansize - great post! Looks like you are well on your way. I wish I had had a real plan early on. I would be alot farther along than 2 months sober! I think I may steal a bit from your plan and incorporate it into mine. Although the ocean part will be hard. It's too far away from me And if I swim in the Delaware I may get tetanus...lol

    Good luck and Happy New Year!

  8. #8
    Registered User. mylife's Avatar

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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Welcome Ocean!

    I agree with the others that having a plan is a great way to start. Also, the idea of giving up AL completely is very daunting...so I understand your desire to moderate. I have told myself that I will give up AL completely for 6 months and then "reassess". My hope is that, like Kate, I will realize that my life without AL is more liberating and fun than it was with AL and I won't want to go back. But I'm taking "babysteps" in that direction by giving myself a shorter goal at the beginning.

    Good luck to you!

  9. #9
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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    MyLife, You have brought up a very interesting point regarding the point that we become "Mentally Liberated from AL".....this does not come overnight, nor is it always a consistant feeling. My six months or so AF....was like a roller coaster! I would go for days feeling absolutely solid and content with my sobriety, then suddenly out of no where, the thoughts and and urges to drink would become very strong....my "addict Mind" would begin to play tricks on me, telling me that I wasn't an alcoholic and that I could have a drink or two......at times this was extremely difficult to overcome. I would come here and go into chat or read posts and talk to others.....finally this would pass!! But it took work and comittment!

    So often I see people come to mwo and do very well for 30, 60 or more days and then suddenly post of "Slipping". I think all too often our expectations of being "cured" is not realistic and there for, we are unprepared for the bumpy ride and give in. My advice is to "Be Prepared", stay "On Guard" and KNOW that long term sobriety takes Life Style changes and requires changing our thinking patters, particularly developing new coping skills!

    Best Wishes,
    Kate

  10. #10
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    1001 reasons to drink or not to drink

    Welcome Oceansize,

    You've made a great decision to improve your life by quitting now! MWO provides great support & encouragement to help you.

    I agree 100% with Kate - life style change is a must! Nothing will change if you don't change your thinking. In my case I had gotten into my husband's habit of negative thinking. That led me to a lot of anxiety & depression & made worse by drinking. The road to sobriety is bumpy but you can reach your goal, I did!

    Wishing you the very best on your journey
    Lav

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