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  1. #1
    Registered User. littlepinkcat's Avatar

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    I will not drink tonight

    I will not drink tonight as i was on a downward spiral, on the outside no one can tell, i have an excellent job, and a beautiful girlfriend, everything i want, yet i continue to drink, i am not alcohol dependent physically, its mentally, and even though if i did drink tpnight it would only be a few cans its what happens later on that is messed up, every couple of months i have massive binges, so its not the few drinks on a night that are the problem but the massive binges that happen very regular every couple of months, that embarrass me , i will not drink tonight as the look on my girlfriends face when she seen me on a binge was horriffic, i had wet my self, had bruises all over my face, got brought home by a stranger, thank god he wasn't a weirdo, and nearly lost my job as i didnt turn into work on time, and she was so terriffied as she had never seen me like that before, i tend to hide it well, i will not drink tonight as if i do i start the spiral again......

    good luck to everyone who is starting out

  2. #2
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    I will not drink tonight

    Hi littlepinkcat (we better call you cat) welcome!! You are certainly making the right decision. I'm wondering if you are right in saying that you do not have a physical dependency on alcohol? If you drink regularly and often that can set up a dependency even though you don't often go crazy with quantity. I very seldom drank more than 2 glasses of wine, but could NEVER do without. So I consider that a physical and mental dependency.

    But I guess you know yourself better than anyone, and it doesn't really matter. The reason I bring it up is I wonder what tools you have in place when the craving comes over you. Do you have any medication like Naltrexone, or Topamax or Campral, or Baclofen? Do you plan to take any supplements?

    We're so glad you're here! We're all in the same boat, even though the boats look different from the outside....hang around and do a lot of reading. And don't drink tonight!!!!

  3. #3
    Registered User. littlepinkcat's Avatar

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    I will not drink tonight

    Maybe I am alcohol dependent in a physical sense,i'm not sure, I don't have any physical withdrawl symptoms when i stop drinking, but lots of mental craving. I am not taking any medication, i might think about it, its one step at at a time here, and congrats on ur 7 days of AF.

  4. #4
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    I will not drink tonight

    Hey Cat

    Keep hanging in there. I used to tell myself that I didn't have a physical dependence going on. LOL. The signs can be subtle but I would say that with the drinking you are describing there would be some symptoms.
    But as MWOLady said it doesn't matter. What matters is that you have faced this reality and you know that if you start drinking you MIGHT have one or two, but then again you might have WAY more with bad bad consequences.
    Just writing that made me remember going out and thinking that I would certainly not get really drunk and get home safe and get to work the next day. At the end the good scenario played out less and less. This is the way it is- progressive to the end. Let the end me of your choosing-not the result of continued drinking. THAT end could be just about anything.
    Too scary to think about.
    Sorry to ramble, and I am being selfish. This is therapeutic for ma and I would like to be helpful for you too. We are very similar and I know where you're coming from.
    It is the worst feeling to have someone look at you,absolutely appalled and say "DO you remember what you DID?" I can't think of a lot of things that are worse to wake up to.
    Stay strong and hang out here.

  5. #5
    Registered User. littlepinkcat's Avatar

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    I will not drink tonight

    Hey Ann221, you were not being selfish, its good to know i'm not the only one who has done some embarrassing things, congrats on u being AF

  6. #6
    Registered User. littlepinkcat's Avatar

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    I will not drink tonight

    just thought id say i was invited to the pub tonight and i declined, all ur suppprt kept me strong, this is a great site, oh nd sorry if im repeating my self as i also posted the invite to the pub on the general discussion. I also posted it on here as i wanted to say thanks to the people who supported me in not drinking tonight, instaed ive washed my hair, watched casper the friendly ghost, lol and now doing my sociology essay

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