So now I know i am an Alcoholic.. :(

[levislover]

I am 24 years old. Started drinking 2 years before. I never even had a beer before in my life. These 2 years have been full of alcohol. I tend to drink without eating and wake up vomiting, mouth stinking like shit and with bad hangover.
Last night i was at my cousin's marriage and was pretty drunk. Took out my car and went on to get something. It was a blackout until i hit the road divider and tyre burst out making the immovable. Nobody knows about this incident. My parents don't even know that i drink and i know that i am an alcoholic. It is eating me from inside. I try to manage to quit for a week and then forget everything and starts drinking again.
I hate my life

[caper564]

Hi Levis,
OH please please don't hate your life. we only get one, hate the alcohol, hate the disease. I mean HATE it, with everything, hate what it does to you, hate what you become when you drink it, hate the after effects, just hate it so much that you never want to see it, smell it, drink it again. the worst thing that can happen to you is not your own death but living with the thought of killing someone else, perhaps a family, children, someones mom or dad. are you in school? talk to the counsellor at school. trust me they have heard it all. the first step was posting here, i know thats hard. to actually see it in print. but you on the path, stay on it.

we are here for you
caper

[levislover]

My parents don't know about my drinking problem. If i stay at home with my parents i go 10-15 days without drinking but when i go out of city to my friends, i do drink and drink a lot. I just want alcohol out of my life. I don't want my parents to find out about it ( that i ever drank ) but right now i am standing over a very thin line which will lead to disaster if they ever get to know.

[caper564]

is there someone you can talk to? a counsellor will keep everything private. do you have a health plan at work? if your in canada i can help you find someone for no cost. You can PM me if you need anything or just wnat to chat.

caper

[Cinders]

levislover,

I went through a period of time where I didn't express my knowledge that I was an alcoholic to anyone but those here on MWO. At least I had MWO to vent but the hiding and the fear was horrible.

In my case, things finally got so bad that everyone knew. Then the game was on!! It has taken me years and years to get to the point where I want to be sober. Not that I know I should be sober but that I WANT to be sober.

I hope you can achieve the want sooner than later.

Be grateful it was just a barrier you hit and not another car or a person. That is something to truly be grateful for. I know about the blackout driving. That is one of the reasons we should never ever pick up a drink again in our lives.

and I hope you find a way to get to sobriety soon.

Cindi

[Lost Soul]

Sorry you are struggling Levi :l

I'm 26 - It's hard being young and alot of social outings revolve around drinking. I think I can get how you feel.

You've taken the first step and recognised you have a problem, many who struggle with drinking never admit they do - it helps to be honest with yourself

From your posts you seem desperate for a way out and perhaps don't know how. Reaching out for help here is great - knowing you are not in this alone makes you feel less isolated and there is much good advice here.

I don't know your background - but have you contemplated telling your parents? I know that may sound horrendous - but if you have good parents who love you - they will want to help and support you.

[levislover]

Lost Soul;1257089 wrote: Sorry you are struggling Levi :l

I'm 26 - It's hard being young and alot of social outings revolve around drinking. I think I can get how you feel.

You've taken the first step and recognised you have a problem, many who struggle with drinking never admit they do - it helps to be honest with yourself

From your posts you seem desperate for a way out and perhaps don't know how. Reaching out for help here is great - knowing you are not in this alone makes you feel less isolated and there is much good advice here.

I don't know your background - but have you contemplated telling your parents? I know that may sound horrendous - but if you have good parents who love you - they will want to help and support you.

Yes i don't know how. I can go cold turkey i know that but how do i just keep going. I would go on for around 10 days without drinking and then all of a sudden would get a phone call from friends for a meet-up. And then everything collapses. I just forget everything and start drinking until the time i puke.

[redwinedrinker]

Hey buddy. No need to hate your life, cause many of us in here are in the same boat. Honestly bro, if you trust yourself, you can do it. I just started to quit drinking…. So far, today is my day 7 ! I don’t know how long I can last, but every time I want to drink now, I will remind myself the hangover feeling and the time wasted. Hope you can do it !!!

[MWOLady]

Levis you may have to neglect your friends for some time until you can figure out how to get some help for yourself. Can't you come up with some excuses for not going out? You could have the flu? or A cold? Or something like that? If these are only drinking friends are they really friends?

It sounds like you have some serious thinking to do about what you want to do with the next few months while you get an idea of what your life is all about: are you going to drink yourself into the grave? Or are you going to get this problem fixed so you can live a happy, productive life? As you are a young person NOW is your time!!!!!!

Can you go to the doctor and confide in him? Can you take something to help you stay sober? Please keep posting so we can support you!!

[levislover]

MWOLady;1257602 wrote: Levis you may have to neglect your friends for some time until you can figure out how to get some help for yourself. Can't you come up with some excuses for not going out? You could have the flu? or A cold? Or something like that? If these are only drinking friends are they really friends?

It sounds like you have some serious thinking to do about what you want to do with the next few months while you get an idea of what your life is all about: are you going to drink yourself into the grave? Or are you going to get this problem fixed so you can live a happy, productive life? As you are a young person NOW is your time!!!!!!

Can you go to the doctor and confide in him? Can you take something to help you stay sober? Please keep posting so we can support you!!

Yes they are real friends but whenever we get together we party. I am the biggest drunk of all of them and they look upon me that i will say "Let's party". Whenever i try to abstain from drinking they kinda start saying what should we do ? Like asking me let's party.
I am a religious person and i thinking of taking an oath for some time and also tell my friends that i am under an oath, so i cannot drink.