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    1. #1
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      I have been sober before, 8 years to be exact. But that was in my youthful years. As I fast forward to the age of 44 with an 8 year daughter, I realize that life is very different. I spend most days frustrated, angry and just wishing for the clock to turn to 8pm so I can have that drink. The drink that makes me temporarily forget about the laundry, the bills, the stupid mess the dog made etc etc!

      I have been thinking and talking about quitting for a few years now (at least). And have had a few failed attempts. My mom..my very best friend, died 2.5 years ago. I have been living in a suspended state ever since. I'm short tempered with my daughter and my husband because they just won't behave the way I "think" they should. Then I feel sorry for myself that I have to cope with all their crap. LOL!

      I've spent a lot of time thinking "if only xxxx - then I wouldn't drink so much". Dawned on me this morning that this perfect household, perfect child, perfect finances, perfect pets etc just doesn't exists and never will. And that I somehow much learn to cope with life without the bottle. Someone told me a few weeks back that I need to make friends with the universe. After finding out that I needed 1300 done to my car, 2 dogs in the vet with issues, bills up the ying yang etc etc - a bird took a big crap right on me! LOL! I guess my friend was right, I need to make friends with the universe.

      Anyway - It's Friday and I'm wondering why I picked a Thursday to quit!?!? But I know the answer...there is always going to be a Friday, a party, a holiday, a vacation. But my liver has had it with me. So, here's to day 2!! Coping with whatever comes my way. I pray for strength and no bird poop!!

    2. #2
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      K9Lover's Avatar

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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      Hi Sake!

      I completely understand where you're coming from. I used to survive each day looking forward to the short time that alcohol made me "forget". I was usually good at about 3-4 beers, but being an alcoholic I never quit there, I'd drink 10 and then panic that I only had 2 left so I'd drive to the store for more...stupid and dangerous! Then I'd wake up hungover and just thankful that I'd made it home. And whatever I was trying to forget was still there, but now I'd have to deal with it along with a pounding head and nausea. The cycle is vicious! You're right, nothing is ever going to be perfect, so there's no perfect day to quit. I quit on a Friday...I figured I'd get the first weekend and the first 3 days over with in one swoop! You can do this. Stick close to us and keep posting. Have a great poop-free weekend! LOL

      K9

    3. #3
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      K9 - As I sit here looking at my messy house...I am thankful to be looking at it without the hangover. I plan to stick close. I have so much pride and that has kept me from actually reaching out for help. My time in AA made me somewhat leery. But I realize now that, that in itself is just another excuse. I know that other people, such as yourself have been able to achieve sobriety. And have poked around on this forum just enough to know that there are people here who have what I want.
      Thanks for responding. And congrats on your sobriety!!

    4. #4
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      Thank you Sake! I am not Superwoman, so believe me when I say that if I can do it, you can do it too! All it takes is a committment that you will not drink again "no matter what, no matter who" as our Beloved Byrdie says!

      And you know what, a messy house is not the end of the world! You'll get it cleaned eventually, in the meantime, don't stress over it! Focus on how you are not going to drink today.

      Do something nice for yourself this weekend...something just for you! I promise that in 2-3 days you'll be feeling a lot better and stronger. And please stick close to us!

    5. #5
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      Good advice...I will try to find something nice to do. I think I hear a facial calling me!
      Hope you have a wonderful weekend as well. Thanks again.

    6. #6
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      Ok now I'm jealous! LOL

      My "treat" for myself will probably be browsing around the thrift store...I find it so therapeutic, and I get so EXCITED when I find cute stuff for such a bargain! I'm guess I'm pretty simple. HA

    7. #7
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      Hi Sake123,

      Welcome back. I can identify with so much in your post, especially the anger and frustration and waiting to get to happy hour. Your post is so honest. That's a wonderful thing because we need to be honest to beat this thing. I have always wanted things to be a certain "way" too and I'm quickly angered if they are not. That's one of the things I'm trying to work on now.

      I was like that when I was drinking. I'm still like that but the difference now is that I can start to chip away at MY problem, not the world's. This was never possible when I was drinking, I just kept going around and around. The bird poop will always be there, figuratively speaking.

      I admire you for quitting on a Thursday, that takes guts! I'm glad you're with us.

    8. #8
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      K9 - me and a good friend love to go thrift shopping. It's always so fun to find a good deal. I found a beautiful quilt from pottery barn for my daughters room. Paid like 6 bucks! :-) I wish you luck!

      Pinecone - I'm not sure that it's guts...might be stupidity! LOL! Seriously, thank you for responding. It's good to know that there are others that have struggled with the same control or lack thereof issues. I'm also hopeful to hear that you are making some headway. I hope the same for myself. Thanks!

    9. #9
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      Sake I understand all about anger and frustration. I drank at them for years. They didn't go away. I just became an ugly drunk. I'm still angry and frustrated a lot, but now I can reason with myself about why and how to deal with it. I planted an anger garden this summer. It's beautiful. Every time I look at it I smile instead of gnashing my teeth.
      Stick with us. You might find something to laugh at occasionally.

    10. #10
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      Drinking to cope...quiting to cope

      Sake.. I really enjoyed reading your post, am on 6(am starting to lose count).
      Anger was a reason to make me drink, but am chillin out a bit now, I realise how silly the issues are to get all hot headed about.

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