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  • Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
    Results 11 to 20 of 27
    1. #11
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      Byrdlady's Avatar

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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      From 9/26/2011

      BH, I went back and found your first post from almost exactly a year ago:

      Yet another monday

      --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      I am so sick of waking up hungover after a drunken weekend. Last night I drank a half a bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine and two small bottles of cider. The night before, two bottles of wine. The night before that, I can't even remember. I don't know what's wrong with me that I want to abuse myself so badly. I am not playing this game any more, I am so sick of it.

      I have a list I have taken from the toolbox thread and I am going to use this site as much as i can to help me. I have a full shift at work to get through feeling like this and I don't want to drink when I get back this evening, so I'll be logging in here. I am new but have been lurking for a while. If there is anyone out there who has logged in here feeling this way this morning please feel free to join me, I could do with some company.


      This was a cry for help....you desperately wanted out of this hell of alcoholism, and you are finding that way out. It is NOT always easy, but it is 1000 times better than the person who wrote this note nearly one year ago. You don't want to be the same person a year from now, right? You want to have moved on, to where life can be coped with on YOUR terms, not ALCOHOL'S. Learning to cope is one of the biggest obstacles we have in this journey! Would I love to say 'feck it all' sometimes and escape my own head? Sure I do...but I find other ways to DEAL with it. I take a walk or pet my dog...I go to the store and buy a some deli cookies....something, ANYTHING but turn back to the despair found in a bottle. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day, BH. Nothing is worth giving up your quit...NOTHING. Protect it with all you've got. Do NOT GIVE IN to the beast that is promising relief, he is a liar and a thief and he is out to kill us. Yes, it's hard, but it is worth it to get a normal life back where the first option of relief isn't the one that's going to take us down.

      You can do this....I believe in you. Byrdie

    2. #12
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      BHalo,

      You said in the nest that if you drank, you wouldn't want our sympathy - you would want your ass kicked.

      Well, you posted this message about 4 hours ago. If you drank since then, please head back to the nest and get the positive support you need.

      If you haven't, then consider yourself kicked. Don't do it! Don't cash in all the progress you've made in the last couple months that far eclipsed what you were able to do in the previous couple years. You know how much harder it is to start again. Go back and read your posts that you wrote to others with a sincere heart. Those are to you, too, from your happy, sober self. You are angry and sad and ready to give up now but you have got to listen to us and to the real you - the woman we have gotten to know here.

      If you're still awake, it would be great to hear how you are doing.

      NS

    3. #13
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      breathes....

      thank you so much everyone. I didn't drink. What's causing this? I wish I knew. I never want to go back to that, thank you all :l:l

    4. #14
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      BH, that is the POWER of addiction!!! It is the beast trying his damdest to LIVE! He is trying a last gasp to get you to cave! IT WILL PASS and you will be thrilled that you stayed the course!
      Do you know how to Skype? I'll give it a try if you need to talk to someone!! xo, b

    5. #15
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      Thank you for posting that you are ok!

      You used this place the way it must be used to succeed - you posted what you were thinking before you drank.

      Stay close, ok? And let us know if your mind goes where it shouldn't again.

      :l NS

    6. #16
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      Guitarista's Avatar

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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      broken halo;1553138 wrote: breathes....

      thank you so much everyone. I didn't drink. What's causing this? I wish I knew. I never want to go back to that, thank you all :l:l
      :l:l:h

    7. #17
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      I am so glad to hear you are doing at least a bit better. I think Byrdie said it all - it's that sneaky rat-bastard AL trying to seduce you with his lies again. Be proud - you gave him the boot. Stay close. Will be around for a while if you need to talk.

    8. #18
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      I'm so glad you posted and asked for help when you were feeling weak, Bhalo!
      That is EXACTLY what I hope I'll be able to do when that sneaky al tries to pull me back in.

    9. #19
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      Great job!

    10. #20
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      It's not f*cking easy, is it?

      BH,
      Glad you are fighting back!
      Whatever is going on to cause confusion won't be resolved by drinking.....but you already know that

      Keep up the good fight!!!

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