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    1. #1
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      A question about drinking patterns-

      For years- including now- on my days off, I start drinking in the mornings. I do not get ripped- just a slight buzz to take care of anxiety. I have never driven after having any al, nor have I ever gone to work. I have also never called in sick because of al.

      But, it's destroying my life. I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed something fully.

      Did anyone else ever do the "slow drinking" through the day- not drunk, just energy and happiness sapping?

      I am reading the toolbox right now- and making a plan.

    2. #2
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      Quote Originally Posted by tryingtoohard View Post
      For years- including now- on my days off, I start drinking in the mornings. I do not get ripped- just a slight buzz to take care of anxiety. I have never driven after having any al, nor have I ever gone to work. I have also never called in sick because of al.

      But, it's destroying my life. I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed something fully.

      Did anyone else ever do the "slow drinking" through the day- not drunk, just energy and happiness sapping?

      I am reading the toolbox right now- and making a plan.
      Tryingtohard.

      Yes I ended up doing that kind of drinking. I remember looking at the clock about 10 am and saying WOW I am having
      a drink already. By about 3 pm I would have a good buzz going and would usually fall asleep on the couch for an
      hour or two. Then I would wake up and start drinking again until I would pass out around ten pm.

      Not a very productive way to spend the day but that is where my drinking got me to.

      I hope you find something helpful in the tool box if you are looking to be alcohol free. I have 15 days so I
      am not an expert on being alcohol free. But I have lots of experience with drinking.

      Keep hanging around, Go to the newbies nest . There are a bunch of people over there with many many alcohol free days and are extremely helpful.
      All things in time if I am Alcohol free

    3. #3
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      Thanks! Like I wrote, this isn't "getting ripped." This is slow drinking to the point of naptime- then the day is gone. It's killing me. I just got back from walking the dog, and was enjoying the neighbor's yards....etc....now, am home, and want a drink. I am so tired of living like this.

    4. #4
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      Tryingtoohard

      Yes I can relate. I got so sick of living like that. Alcohol controlled my life. You are
      at the right place if you want to quit. I have 15 days Af And I am feeling so much better.
      I won't say it is easy but it is possible. Hang in there.
      All things in time if I am Alcohol free

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    6. #5
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      Hi Trying, yes I did that. It's a terribly sad and suffocating way to exist. Getting alcohol completely out of my life was the solution. I really relate to your post. I was always pretty responsible (although not always with increasing frequency as I kept at it). It was the sadness of my life that was really pulling me apart. Now I am so grateful that I could feel that pain because it helped me out of that hole.

      Have you tried 30 days AF? I spent years drinking but when I couldn't drink for a day or two for some reason my mind was furious. Hmmm....
      "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
      AF 11/12/11

    7. #6
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      Hi Trying,
      I can relate. It helps me to remember my drinking patterns to figure out when I'm craving. It's weird I can be completely fine, like you say... When you walked the dog... Probably felt fine, got home and wanted a drink. There are a lot of reasons why we want the drink, physically, emotionally, you name it. It can be quite a pull. Your drinking pattern seams to be enabling you to function as a responsible person, but as you say.,, killing you. One of the many reasons I quit was because of how empty my soul was feeling. Just felt like I was on a merry go round drinking my life away.
      AF January 7, 2018

    8. #7
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      Thank you for that- and you are correct. I want to go visit my grandfather today- a two hour trip. While my husband will drive, I am burned up that I'll have to give up my al, my buzz, and my naps. It's ridiculous. I want to read this thread every single day. There is not one person at work that suspects this about me- none. I just pass it off as "I don't like to travel." Bull. It's I don't like to leave the house, and my friend- the bottle.

    9. #8
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      I have had two small drinks already this morning. I am so deep in this hole that I feel like I need to clean the dining room before I work on my plan from the toolbox. I hate this. Hate it. Thank you for answering, you don't know how much it means to be able to just write the truth.

    10. #9
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      No, please don't edit anything I came clean with my husband last night. I said flat out, "I don't deserve this, you don't deserve this." Yes- I need to make my plan. The first thing I am giving up is the lies. That's number one- I am not going to hide my drinking this morning at all. Hubby knows now. Want to hear something "funny?" I only drink in the mornings- before lunch. Last night? New Years Eve? ONE watered down cocktail with dinner- zero al after 6:00PM. Yes- I thought about it, but since I had enjoyed the day buzzed, wasn't really that important.

      What the heck is it with mornings off? I leave for work at 5:50 AM- so, no drinking during work days. It's holidays, Saturdays and Sundays.

    11. #10
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      Thank you! And yes, I have had two ounces (I am measuring at this point- kid you not)- my plan for today is to "make my plan" using the toolbox. You would laugh if you could see me. I look like a successful yuppie. This started at a point in grad school- I wish I had known about imposters syndrome when I started. Before that? My undergrad? I didn't drink.

      There is something about facing a holiday, or weekend day that is my trigger.

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