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    1. #1
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      Unhappy New here and scared

      I am new here, and want to be sober. I was only a social drinker, but about five years ago, things were horrible at work so I would come home and have a glass of wine. Gradually progressed to several, then a whole bottle. After a forced “retirement” three years ago, it just got worse. I drank every day, got drunk, passed out. Started avoiding socializing, so I could stay home and drink. There are lots of other things that are upsetting. For decades, I have been the outcast of my family. For decades, my daughter either treats me like crap or ignores despite the fact I raised her by myself and did everything for her. She is very successful and seems to forget how much I sacrificed for her. This is so,hurtful. When I express my feelings, I am mocked. Some parts of my life are good, but mostly I am sad

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      Welcome to MWO @murph54! Your story sounds oh so familiar, but you have the opportunity to change how your story progresses from here. Most newcomers start out in the Newbie's Nest, but read around and join in wherever you feel comfortable. You have to change yourself first, and you'll be amazed how other's attitudes will change about you. And if they don't come around, it won't matter because you'll have a whole new attitude about them as well. Long term sobriety isn't easy, but it's so worth it! The help and support you receive can be a lifesaver, so be active here, take what helps you, and leave the rest. Congratulations for starting on a whole new life for yourself!
      Quitting and staying quit isn’t easy, it’s learning a whole new way of thinking. It’s accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
      Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
      Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

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    4. #3
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      Re: New here and scared

      Welcome, @murph54! Yes, those are definitely the things that we drink over, and that then puts us on the slippery slope. Congratulations on making the wise decision to get off the slippery slope now, rather than continuing on further only to crash at the bottom. We are happy to have you here in our like-minded company!
      Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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    6. #4
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      Re: New here and scared

      Welcome murph- asking for help and guidance from complete strangers is a huge step. Good thing is that you will find you are amongst strangers no more.
      Along the same lines as Cowboy stated- all the issues and problems you mentioned can be dealt with in due time. First thing first- don't drink no matter what and no matter what don't drink. As days turn into weeks you'll be amazed at the mental clarity gained in such a short time.
      2- stay connected to a support group, accountability, interact and share. I promise you your not an anomaly when it comes to Alcohol related issues.
      I spent many years abusing Alcohol and creating a path of destruction, so it takes time to mend and repair our people and or things.
      I never imagined a day or a life without Alcohol, now I can honestly say I can't imagine a day with it.
      To this day if the thought of drink comes to mind, I play that drink out in my head over the next 24-72 hours it always ends the same. It has become muscle memory for me to do this.
      Alcohol is poison, perfectly packaged poison.

      Stay Hard and keep coming back
      AF 08~05~2014

      The past has no power over the present moment.”

      There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! ~ Me

    7. #5
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      Re: New here and scared

      Hi Murph
      With a name like that there has to be an Irish connection ... ?
      All I can say is trust those who have posted here to help you ... they know what they are talking about. I know for a fact Cowboy would take you under his wing if you trust him and know what he says is true .... then you are alone no more.

      You will gain back self respect and that will have the knock on effect of others respecting you. No-one trusts an active alcoholic - they cannot be sure what we say is true or just shit talk and eventually stop listening to us.

      I too always "play that drink out in my head over the next 24-72 hours it always ends the same" and that one trick has helped me stay sober for 6 years. Because I KNOW one drink will never satisfy me - so why bother.
      Benji ....
      Doing it my way

      .... the joy of being sober never gets old !!

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    9. #6
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      Re: New here and scared

      Hi, Murph--

      Are you still around? I echo what everyone else says. Taking care of yourself will allow you to see and engage with everyone else with a clear head. What happened to me was that I was also able to see my part in scenarios that I had blamed others for - very humbling.

      I hope you're still committed to quitting - let us know how we can help.

      Pavati

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    11. #7
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      Re: New here and scared

      Thank you. I am going to start with the recommended Newbie Nest...hopefully I can figure out how to navigate this site.

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    13. #8
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      Re: New here and scared

      Thank you. Heading to the recommended Newbies Nest.

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    15. #9
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      Re: New here and scared

      Thank you. Exactly. I say I will have “just one” glass of wine and before I know it, the bottle is gone and the evening is shot. I need to be sober

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    17. #10
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      Re: New here and scared

      Quote Originally Posted by murph54 View Post
      Thank you. Exactly. I say I will have “just one” glass of wine and before I know it, the bottle is gone and the evening is shot. I need to be sober
      That’s exactly it!! And I used to think that a “WHOLE bottle” of wine was pretty big! They got pretty small to me by the end.
      Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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