Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. #1
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    1st June, 2018.
    Location;
    USA.
    Posts;
    7.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Not new; trying again

    I've been here before and am (yet again) trying to moderate. I really don't want to drink tonight. Not sure the last time I haven't had at least one drink.

  2. Likes Lavande, Pavati liked this post
  3. #2
    Forum Subscriber. mollyka's Avatar

    Join Date;
    2nd March, 2009.
    Location;
    Ireland.
    Posts;
    3,155.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Not much of a moderating community left here I'm afraid...most of us know it doesn't work despite wasting years imposing rules on ourselves...good luck anyway and if you fancy just biting the bullet and taking the far easier option of quitting altogether there'll be plenty of support around the boards!!
    Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
    contentedly NF since 8/04/14

  4. Thanks NolaLola thanked for this post
    Likes Lavande, Pavati liked this post
  5. #3
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

    Join Date;
    13th February, 2009.
    Posts;
    23,054.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Hi NolaLola!

    Glad you decided to come back.
    I joined in earl 2009 with the intention lof learning to moderate. What I learned was moderating is virtually impossible once you have crossed over to being a problem drinker. Some people will still try & actaully have some success when taking medication & getting counseling.
    I was challenged with getting 30 AF days under my belt, then see if I still wanted to try to moderate. By the time I got thru the first two weeks I just knew deep down that quitting all together would be best for me. Accepting I had a hard time with AL & probably always will I decided to save myself & what was left of my sanity. You can do it too with a good plan & support. I urge you to drop in the newbies Nest for all the support you could want
    Like Molly said - it’s easier to quit completely then make a great life for yourself!

    Wishing you the very best!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  6. Likes Pavati, satz123 liked this post
  7. #4
    Registered User. Pavati's Avatar

    Join Date;
    3rd November, 2013.
    Posts;
    4,903.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Hi,

    I'm another one who came here with the intention of moderating. I agree with Lav, although I do know some find success. As Byrdie says, once you google "problem" and "alcohol" and find yourself here, maybe moderation won't do the trick. That acceptance that Lav talks about was key for me. I couldn't have alcohol in my life AND have the life I want - they were incompatible. I was SO AFRAID of what that meant and what my life would be like, and now I realize I actually found freedom and peace. I shouldn't have been afraid at all!

    Many chose the 30 day challenge just to clear the pipes as it were. See how you feel and genuinely look at alcohol in your life with a clear head.

    Welcome - we're here for you.

    Pav

  8. Likes Lavande, satz123 liked this post
  9. #5
    Forum Subscriber. satz123's Avatar

    Join Date;
    6th May, 2009.
    Location;
    IRELAND.
    Posts;
    17,980.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    June 2018
    Welcome, NolaLola
    You're lucky to be realizing you need to quit before your life has gone completely off the rails. Unfortunately, the moderation section of this forum isn't very active anymore. However, a good first step for someone who plans to drink moderately in the future is to abstain for 30 days and see how you feel at that point. People who really can drink moderately won't find the 30 days to be a huge problem. After that amount of time alcohol-free, you'll be in a better position to clearly assess your situation.
    The toolbox is full of ideas to make not drinking easier and you're welcome to ask any questions here. Many of us have been through 30 days or more and might be able to help.

    Take care and all the best to you, NS
    Above is the advice given to you 2 years ago by a wise member here on MWO @NoSugar. How have you coped in those intervening years @NolaLola ?
    Have to managed to moderate ?

    Like others I came here to 'moderate' my drinking. To me 'moderate' meant changing my drinking habits - lessening the amount I drank. The goal was to cut out drinking during the week - I thought that would be it.
    After a while of fits & starts it dawned on me that I preferred my life without alcohol - so I picked my quit date & kept going.
    It didn't happen over night - I was gentle with myself

    Don't say 'NEVER again' yet ..... too scary at first - read & post daily ..... then when you are ready just try one day without alcohol and see how you feel?
    Then post here & tell us how you feel ....
    Last edited by satz123; August 6th, 2020 at 02:57 AM.
    Benji ....
    Doing it my way


    .... the joy of being sober never gets old !!

  10. #6
    Forum Subscriber. satz123's Avatar

    Join Date;
    6th May, 2009.
    Location;
    IRELAND.
    Posts;
    17,980.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Does anyone else get sick & tired of posting to no feedback ?
    I am dangerously close to quitting trying to help others to quit !
    Benji ....
    Doing it my way


    .... the joy of being sober never gets old !!

  11. #7
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    12th October, 2008.
    Posts;
    1,305.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Hi Nola - I'm with you - I've had a hard time with alcohol for years and years. I've had ups and downs with moderation and just came back to MWO yesterday due to the downs I've been having. Like you, I couldn't remember the last time I hadn't had at least one drink - definitely not since COVID and probably for quite awhile before that too. That's not moderation! So, I'm back here and I'm on Day 6 today. I'm not sure what I want to do...try to moderate again or finally bite the bullet and quit AL entirely? But even to try moderation I know that I need a good number of AL free days to break my drinking habit. So that's my goal right now. I'm trying to break the habit, and then will decide later if I'm going to try moderation. I did it with success for a long time years ago, then my mother passed away and I got back into my old habits of drinking too much and every day. Then I came back here (yes I've been coming around here for YEARS...what does that tell me? You'd think I would learn wouldn't you?!). Anyway, things got out of hand again. So here I am again.

    How are you doing? Do you have a plan? Hope things are going ok!

  12. Likes Slo liked this post
  13. #8
    Forum Subscriber. Slo's Avatar

    Join Date;
    22nd June, 2013.
    Location;
    Midwest USA.
    Posts;
    2,000.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Welcome back, Frances! I know what you mean: I escalated when my dad died in 2011. That ushered in my first quit in 2012. Death & grief is always a tough one. Then I had a few months AF in in 2016, and lost it at my young sis-in-law’s drink-y “celebration of life” when she died of breast cancer. Now I have been sober for 2 years, so was able to weather my brother’s suicide this year without going back to drinking.

    I’m glad you’re back, and I’m pulling for you!
    Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

  14. #9
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    12th October, 2008.
    Posts;
    1,305.
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Thanks so much Slo! I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and really glad that you have been able to stay AF through that. That must be so hard but drinking would do absolutely nothing at all to make it better. Congratulations on 2 years sober! I'm back for the first time in a couple of years and I'm so amazed at everyone's success. This community is absolutely fantastic!

  15. Thanks Slo thanked for this post
  16. #10
    Anjicia
    Guest

    Re: Not new; trying again

    Hi all not new here either i was here before about 2 years or so but kept relapsing so could not see the point in staying and i did not be posting failures too often. With covid19 and phase3 lockdown here i decided to give it another try at least to communicate i mean i have all the onfo on staying off drink but putting in to practice is very hard for me. I am a serial relapser binge drinker whatever but moderation is a no no been there too. I am an all or nothing drinker. Well see it goes this time around x

  17. Likes Maple liked this post

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •