Brand new noob

[Sparky12]

Just starting out.
Never drank (regularly) super high amounts but drank very consistently for decades. My wife got very ill 7 years ago at age 49 and I was thrown into the role of primary caregiver. Seemed to be easier when drunk. Never got in trouble, never really affected anything but me. she passed 4 years ago but the drinking didn't. Im on week three of a slow taper. Down to about 75 ml of 90 proof bourbon daily from 500ml. Cant seem to kick the last 75 ml. Im a little weird as in I only drink very small amounts (on the taper) but all day starting first thing in the morning, ive found, for me drinking the same volume but watering it down with the help of hydrometer to now 30 proof or 15% has worked up to now. she had severe seizures as part of her illness and Im very afraid of cutting out the last bit. Any advice appreciated.
TIA

[mollyka]

Hi Sparky -- just saying welcome to you - I've never tried tapering as I'm an all or nothing person -- even a hint of alcohol would have maintained the longing for me - so it was cold turkey -- so I'm not much use to you.. but 75ml -- that's like two small measures over here in Ireland I think... but not sure about the % proof -- I would just drink alcohol in anyway shape or form back in the day so never studied strengths or anything --
the point I'm making is it doesn't sound like a lot of alcohol to me - I can't imagine that it would cause anything like seizures to eliminate fairly promptly... but perhaps speak to a professional medic about it - you may have other conditions you haven't mentioned.. okay -- just googled spirit strength here -- it's about 40% - so I'm thinking what you are having is about 4 measures -- would it be possible to wean off on a weaker type of drink -- beer or wine?

Anyway -- just saying welcome to you -- my drinking escalated in a major way around the time my mother was dying and family problems that surrounded that time - so really understand where you are coming from

Stick around --- many more much wiser people will answer soon I'm sure

[available]

Sparky

Welcome to MWO and your success in tapering down. Maybe you are scared just to give up al, i know i was petrified to think i could never drink again.
As Molly said, if you feel comfortable seeing you doctor then that may be the best way to go.
I was an all or nothing person. I gave up cold turkey 8 years ago and took Valium for a few days, now its just a distant memory and i have no regrets giving up drinking at all.
Life is much better and happier.
Head over to the newbies nest and say hello, a great place to get to know others. Also have a look around at different threads and posts. We are all at some stage of sobriety and understand about alcohol.

[Mulburry]

Just starting out.
Never drank (regularly) super high amounts but drank very consistently for decades. My wife got very ill 7 years ago at age 49 and I was thrown into the role of primary caregiver. Seemed to be easier when drunk. Never got in trouble, never really affected anything but me. she passed 4 years ago but the drinking didn't. Im on week three of a slow taper. Down to about 75 ml of 90 proof bourbon daily from 500ml. Cant seem to kick the last 75 ml. Im a little weird as in I only drink very small amounts (on the taper) but all day starting first thing in the morning, ive found, for me drinking the same volume but watering it down with the help of hydrometer to now 30 proof or 15% has worked up to now. she had severe seizures as part of her illness and Im very afraid of cutting out the last bit. Any advice appreciated.TIA

Congrats! Going down from 500ml to 75ml is a monumental task, you've basically done it! I tried to taper down and had an incredibly hard time getting over the first third, even over months, so at least from my experience, you've done the hardest part. As mentioned, if you're still worried about withdrawal symptoms, having some medication on hand for piece of mind is a good idea, but you might not even need it.

[Sparky12]

I’m going to take the last step Monday and see if I can do 24 hours completely alcohol free. We shall see how it goes.

[available]

You can do more than 24 hours Sparky, have some faith.

[JackieClaire]

Welcome to you @Sparky12
So sorry for your loss.
If you haven't done so already go say hello in the Newbies Nest..................I think the majority of us started out there.
Newbies Nest
I was lucky and had a doctor who understood alcoholism and once I was sober he organized a great counselor.

And a welcome to you @Mulburry

Ooops forgot the Tool Box ..................Tool box nothing else it gives your something to do when a craving hits.

[Pavati]

Checking in, Sparky.

Welcome and have a wonderful SOBER day today. I know you can do it.

This is from another all or nothing person - I had to accept that I had to quit for good in order for it to work.

You have all these people behind you. Check into the "Newbies Nest" or the Army or another active thread and you'll get more timely support.

Have a great day!

Pavati

[Slo]

Welcome, Sparky.
I can sure see why that situation escalated your drinking, and you drank to cope.
I hope your first AF day is going pretty well, and will be followed by many more.
We’re rooting for you!

[Sparky12]

Status update: I seem to be happy at my current level of intake, gonna sit here for awhile. After reviewing a few facts from the CDC 14 drinks per week is not and issue. at my current intake of 90 ml / 33 ml per oz = roughly 3 oz per day or 2 full 1.5 oz drinks of full 80 proof drinks a day. I still do not like the feeling of having to have even my watered down shot glass full of 30 proof crappy whiskey 6 times a day, but that seems more like mental issue vs. a physical one. My goal is when i drop the last bit to go 30 days. My background is in Mathematics so rationalizing this to myself seems to help. Thanx for listening.