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  1. #1
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    For the animal lovers-cats, dogs and birds

    WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
    Excerpt from a Dog's Diary........



    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

    Day 983 of my captivity....

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
    dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
    some sort of dry nuggets.

    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
    I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. In an
    attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
    had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
    comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
    in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
    hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
    due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to
    use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
    again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
    to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
    guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
    have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
    safe. For now.

    :H:H:H:H DLA

  2. #2
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    11th August, 2009.
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    For the animal lovers-cats, dogs and birds

    Thanks, I needed a laugh.

  3. #3
    Registered User.

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    12th July, 2009.
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    For the animal lovers-cats, dogs and birds

    Oh yeah, that is a cat!
    That was good!
    Chook

  4. #4
    Registered User. startingover's Avatar

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    16th July, 2008.
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    For the animal lovers-cats, dogs and birds

    Brilliant!

  5. #5
    Registered User. Gold's Avatar

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    21st July, 2009.
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    For the animal lovers-cats, dogs and birds

    That's great!

  6. #6
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    13th February, 2009.
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    For the animal lovers-cats, dogs and birds

    That's why we have two dogs & a bird
    NO CATS, they scare me!!!!!

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