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Thread: Making a baby

  1. #1
    Registered User. MDBiker's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    *
    MAKING A BABY...


    ****
    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
    surrogate father to start their family.


    On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his
    wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; the man
    should be here soon."

    Half an hour later, just by chance,
    a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell,
    hopingto make a sale.
    Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''

    Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
    embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

    "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
    know babies are my specialty?"

    "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.

    Please come in and have a seat"

    After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

    "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
    bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
    sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out
    there."

    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry
    and me!"

    "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But
    if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
    angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

    "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

    "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to
    be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed
    with that."

    "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio
    of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

    "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you
    consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

    "Yes, I'm afraid so, I finally had to take her to the park to get
    the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to
    get a good look."

    "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

    "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours,
    too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could
    hardlyconcentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my
    shots.

    Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
    had to pack it all in."

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on
    your, uh...equipment?"

    "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my
    tripod and we can get to work right away."

    "Tripod?"

    "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
    much too big to be held in the hand very long."

    Mrs. Smith fainted.........

  2. #2
    Registered User. southernbelle47's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    Oh!!!!!!!!!!! That's too funny!
    Gotta share that one!
    Nancy

  3. #3
    Registered User. irishlady's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    MD, in future I must remember NOT to take a mouthful of tea when reading one of your jokes, that was the best...

    Louise xx






  4. #4
    Registered User. betty boop's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    LOL xxx really funny

  5. #5
    Registered User. Saint Jude's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    :H Good one!

    I'd even answer the door for him!

  6. #6
    Registered User. DidItForMe's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    Too funny!!

  7. #7
    Registered User. MonaCat's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    Hilarious!

  8. #8
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    Making a baby

    can't type 4 laffing !!!!

  9. #9
    Registered User. Flip's Avatar

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    Making a baby

    You're just jealous MD..............what size is your tripod????

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