What was your rock bottom

[LillyE]

bump

[bettygirl]

ending up in the er from withdrawals and having to tell the nurse and dr what was causing my high blood pressure and faintness in front of my kid and husband.

[mario]

We all have hit rock bottom...

[morrison]

My rock bottom?

I once scissor kicked Angela Lansbury.

[Arthurcank]

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[DreamThinkDo]

Ignore Arthurspammerboy, but this thread deserves a bump.

[dill]

Agreed, DTD! Thanks for the bump.

[Pie]

byebyebridgetjones;n1519261 wrote:
I just woke up one morning and could not think of a single thing that I wanted to do, not a person that I wanted to see, no place that I wanted to go nor any experience that I wanted to have. Nothing. Empty.

Reading through some old posts this morning, I came across these words from Bridget. This is how it was for me too. I remember thinking that I was just waiting to die. Not in a suicidal way, I just wanted to expire. I just wanted it to be over.

Now, AF for 73 days, I don't feel this way anymore. Thank you, MWO friends, for helping me feel happy to be alive again!

Pie :h

[NoSugar]

This is a great thread, Pie - Thanks for the bump! I listened to a talk about the biology of addiction yesterday (I've listened to a similar one by this speaker before but seem to learn something new when I'm ready to "hear" it - http://dawnfarm.org/event/dawn-farm-...addiction-101/). Anyway, he commented that addicts don't need to hit a rock bottom - they live on the bottom, hating their lives. That was my experience anyway. No day was better or worse than another, they just all were devoid of meaning, like Bridget so heartbreakingly expressed.

[Healthybutempty]

I have had a few rock bottoms, but the one that sticks out most in my mind is when My ex-boyfriend kicked me out of our appartment 5 years ago (because of drinking, of course) so I went to stay with a friend of mine and his girlfriend. The first night I was there after I moved in I was so depressed I drank about 1/2 of a 66er of vodka over the course of a few hours. I don't remember much after that but my friend told me I threw up a few times, then fell down and hit my head and couldnt get back up, and he then carried me to bed. I woke up the next morning covered in puke (i had thrown up in my sleep. good thing i was on my side or i could have died!) and feeling like I was dying. That is when I first really started being scared and knew I needed serious help.
The insane part is that I still drank as soon as i got up and showered, and continued to drink.....and the next year I got hooked on opiates. The drinking and drugs went on for several more years before I physically could not do it anymore! I didn't care about anything. I hardly showered, I didn't eat, I couldnt work. I didnt want to wake up most days. I wanted to die! I even tried to kill myself a few times! I would wake up and couldn't even get out of bed without reaching for the bottle on my night stand. It was a pitiful existence. Any time I start struggling or romanticizing al in my head again I just think about how I got here and where it would lead me. I have been clean for 2 years and sober for 343 days and I do not ever want to go back there again!
Grateful to be alive.