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  1. #21
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    Your thoughts on resentment.

    Doggygirl. Thanks. Weird look from my partner as I laughed out loud there. "Whats so funny?-doesnt matter darling" Anyway laughing aside I took a second look at what you wrote and yeah I know what you mean. It sounds so silly when you put it like that. Sometimes I give myself a real stern talking to. " Its only a bloody substance-stop boo-hooing." It usuallly works then sooner or later I boo-hoo again. I am 5 weeks sober now and I have ordered a back up supply of antabuse because Im scared witless that one of my boo-hoo days will derail me. The main goal is to stop having them in the first place so thats why I am really trying to work on my thinking. I will think of your peanut eating comedian the next time I get into that awful toxic state of mind. Thanks. Ps I think I should have called this thread your thoughts on self pity. Its maybe a bit of both. Anyway I hate when I get days like that. They really frighten me cos I know where they have led me to in the past and it aint anywhere good! Whoa! I just missed your other reply on the 22nd. I have just spotted it. I have got to go and think about that one for a while.

  2. #22
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    Your thoughts on resentment.

    "Local pub culture" I believe would qualify as a resentment to be listed and subsequently dealt with.


    Hmm. Staring long and hard at that one. I think there is a bit of a bullseye there. When everyone else heads down to the pub at the weekend I sometimes feel like the little girl on the outside with her nose pressed against the window. It starts off a cascade inside my mind. sad=self pity=resentment=fear because that cascade has led to so many relapses it just isnt funny. You mention serenity. Some days Im so good at the whole serenity thing that it feels like a walk in the park. I feel like I could stay sober for ever. Then its creak,crack and suddenly Im fighting for my life just to make it through the night. Thats why prn antabuse helps I think.(and possibly Baclofen but maybe more about that another time. I know we have a meds section. I want to keep this one about emotions.) Anyway I will give it a go. The next time I feel terrible about not being able to go to the pub I will try firmly saying to myself." This is a resentment and it just has to be dealt with" Ok Im nearly looking forward to my next "wanna go to the pub night" so I can try it out. Thanks again.

  3. #23
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    Your thoughts on resentment.

    Yes I read that jerlin. Its very good. I love your name by the way. I thought the replies on this thread were excellent.They have helped me beyond words. I was in a situation yesterday(st paddys day) where all my friends went to the pub and I had to go home. I had a bad 5 mins then shook it off. I am in a totally different place now from when I first posted it.Thanks to all who tried to help me. You really did create a change in my mindset and things are a bit easier now 50+ days AF now

  4. #24
    Registered User. Bruunhilde's Avatar

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    Your thoughts on resentment.

    Doggygirl;1064635 wrote:
    I have learned that the reason for the resentment doesn't matter. A "justified" resentment (i.e. someone has "done me wrong" and I have "every right" to be mad) is JUST as dangerous for me as a silly or unfounded resentment.
    DG
    This is very potent stuff, this thread, thanks Coalfire.

    Resentments are hazardous and part of my daily diatribe (internal rantings) that I'm trying to fix. The fact that Life Is Not Fair seems to be just another thing to resent, versus a fix to my resenting others. Why should I work like a dog and be financially strapped when all around me my friends just married and are wealthy and two haven't worked since they were 35? NOT FAIR. Etc. So I'm not just howling at the moon, I'm barking up all sorts of trees, and it's only making me miserable and sick, drinking the poison and hoping someone else dies from it as Mario said. I may be AF but I'm still drinking poison, and always have been.

    So I'm struggling too, and I can see that the Pub thing would be difficult: In particular, with such saturation ("everyone" goes to the pubs esp in Ireland on St Pats), that leaves you out of the social scene completely, which of course you'd resent. But you don't have to resent that all those people are pickling their livers and in twenty years you'll look great and they'll look like shit. Improving my health and my looks is a big part of my current motivation to be AF. Gratitude work leaves me flat, although I do try to do it and to look at the good sides and stop my negativity.

    Good for you that you didn't go home and drink alone, which would be a bigger danger for me after your experience on St Patricks. :man: Of course, I'd prefer that to the Pub after the first hour there!

    I'm thankful there are so many wonderful, caring and giving people willing to share their love and experience here at MWO.

  5. #25
    Registered User. Wildflowers's Avatar

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    Your thoughts on resentment.

    :hxo:l

  6. #26
    Registered User. Wildflowers's Avatar

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    10th February, 2012.
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    Your thoughts on resentment.

    :h:hxoxo:l:l

  7. #27
    Registered User. mario's Avatar

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    Just reading back on this thread, Resentments, I posted above that I don't think I had any, that my thoughts were on myself, they probably were at that time, But looking back and getting to know myself better.

    I had quite a few resentments, mostly of jealousy & fear, self pitying & comparing myself always to others in what they had & not realising what I had... Got over that now & did write a list of all my resentment's and did make amends where possible.

    It feels great. Now I deal with resentments as they pop up daily or weekly and deal with them, it sure helps me in my continuing battle in which I am winning.


    Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

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