July Mod Squad

[Stewarts]

Eve, it was so great to see your message this morning, it brought many things to light for me, I think. I have not been modding well at all as of lately. As I stated before, it's not like I'm going out and getting crazy and bad things are happening, it's just when I do, I am drinking way over what I call my mod limit and staying out too late. Last night was one of these nights. Now, I get up and go to work and I'm a somewhat productive citizen, but feel crappy about it as we can all relate to.

I think you hit with the summer and vacation. . . .it tends to be, well, let's admit it, fun. I was at a work event Downtown, then left with some colleagues for a drink and my boss and I headed back uptown and stopped by a place near us that was JUMPING! It reminded me, well, both of us, what it was like when we were in our twenties, it was that type of place. We leave, but I decide to stay out at a place near me for two more beers.

I had a LONG week. I;m exhausted, both from work and recreation, I'm like what am I doing to myself?!?! I was telling myself on my commute over that I've become this real piece of sh#$ person and a lowlife. I think I'm being too hard on myself, but I think I need a vacation from myself.

I kind of reconnected with an old girlfriend and she's in town and wants to go to lunch today. I havent heard from her yet, honestly, part of me just wants to take care of whatever things I need to do in the morning and just drive to my summer place in New England and veg out.

I was initially planning on posting here begging for help, but Eve, your post put things into perspective...I'm not a bad person, I'm just stressed, maybe even slightly depressed, and looking for some release, however, I DEFINITELY would appreciate some tips on getting back to my mod place. I am currently taking no supplements or anything like that.

Thank you all.

j.

[nonamegirl]

Hey, Stewarts. Good to hear from you. I love reading your posts about New York, as it brings back so many good memories from when I was there for the 2010 NYC Marathon. I love the energy of that place! We are actually coming back the end of this month for a week...don't know if we'll get into the city. You sound like life is pretty tiring right now, and I can really relate. I struggled with depression all winter and spring, even though I was keeping up on the exercise. The one thing that has REALLY really helped my depression, and it surprised me that it was such a dramatic help, was acupuncture. Might be worth a try. My acupuncturist is also helping me work on my modding - (not her fault that I slipped the other night) and it is a relief to have someone offer some help.

Eve, it is lovely to hear from you again. We miss you! I so much appreciate your supporting comments that maybe I am not the only one who is struggling. You, who have such success, also still work the program. Thanks for telling me that. If you can do this thing, I can do it.

So, this is the beginning of the big weekend. Tomorrow I have a 5k race, then the half marathon on Sunday. Luckily the weather seems to be cooperating with somewhat lower temps. I certainly don't expect to break any speed records, but if I shave a minute or two off last year's time, I'll be thrilled. Slow and steady for this ol' girl.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!:alf::alf::alf:

[Stewarts]

nonamegirl, 2010 NYC marathon was my best one. I finished in 3:47:33. I am training for 2013, have my long run tommorrow. Good luck with your races, impressive, a 5K then a 1/2....

And yes, thank you, that's all it's really been for me,a tiring week. I worked a lot and went out a lot, and perhaps I'm paying for it a little. In all reality, this past week was kind of like what my days were like in my twenties, that's all....no harm, no foul. I think most of us are in this situation, because we just don't like the sick and tired feeling anymore, so when it happen, at least for me, we feel bad about it.

I told this old fling that I really need to get out of town, if I meet her for lunch, I'd have to leave tonight because of traffic, and he knows when she can meet for lunch, she has a lot of work meetings. I'd be boring company now anyway. She's really sweet and will understand, it be much better if we planned a weekend together anyway.

I just need to get back on track. I told my therapist once before, this is why I lock myself and my apartment and don't do anything some times, to protect myself, from myself.. LOL. I also saw a lot of old friends in my business I haven't seen in awhile, so perhaps I was in a giddy mood and we were all reminising.

Acupuncture sounds interesting, I'll have to look into it....anyone ever do any hypnotherapy?

j.

[nancy]

nostalgia for partying

Stewart,

You say you are going back to your 20s. How old are you now? If it's not that much age-appropriate anymore anyway that's a great excuse to avoid it. I would avoid happy hours and any other event where people are drinking early and where booze is cheap. That includes boating.

If you were to go out at 8 and drink one drink an hour with food you'd probably be o.k. if you left early enough.

Getting older is a great natural way to drop bad old habits. I think there are internal things that are triggers but there are also just bad environments that encourage over-drinking.

I don't know if it's possible for you to cut all this out. I wonder do you have more mature friends who drink responsibly, with meals, but don't go out bar hopping anymore?

Think about the positives you want out of this, not the deprivation.

Maybe a stable relationship with someone who doesn't drink that much would also help.

[Eve11]

Stewarts,

My huge post just got deleted so can't repeat it at this time. Just want to say that I was glad to see your post and glad you felt my post helped. I loved what Nancy had to say. She has such great insight. Big hello to nonamegirl and to everyone else who posts here or lurks. Hugs to all.

:l
Eve11

p.s. will post more when able but too late now and so disappointed that I lost such a long post. Don't have word on the vaca computer and didn't think I timed out so just typed and typed and suddenly it was gone! Too tired to repeat it.

[nonamegirl]

Howdy, folks!
A beautiful weekend! I thoroughly enjoyed both my races, though didn't go any faster than last year. But oh, my was it fun. Running into the sunrise is such a glorious way to celebrate being alive! If you ever have a chance to come to western Montana, you certainly should do so. This is just about the best place to visit, to live, to enjoy. As the race started at 6:00 am yesterday, a great blue heron flew just over our heads. I took it as his blessing - though probably he was upset that we were temporarily taking over his space. In any case, what a glorious day.

Hope your week is beautiful, my friends.

[Lila]

Stewarts, I have done hypnotherapy. What I know is it works for some people (people with great imagination, i think) and not so much for others. I did it to lose weight after a pregnancy. It worked great!

NNG, I wish summer just went on forever! Sounds like a wonderful day.

[nonamegirl]

Hey, all. Must be slow summer days, or something that not many folks are posting. That's okay.... when the time is right, we'll hear from everyone.

I am dealing with the typical blues after a big event. You work towards something for months, go through it just fine enjoying all the excitement, and then.... wow, there's nothing to work for or towards or .... Nah. I'm fine. Just tired and a bit blue. Going to sign up for some more races today, so I can once again look down the road to a goal.

Take care, everyone. Keep cool, if the heat is upon you. Stay away from the flames if you are in forest fire areas. Enjoy the sun but not too much, and remember, moderation in all things.

:h

[Stewarts]

Hi all! And Nancy thanks for your post (and Eve) I know exactly what you mean. First, nonamgirl, yes, I know what you mean about those blues after a big race...it's worse after a marathon.

Nancy, I am 38. You hit a lot of the nails on the head. Last night is a perfecrt example. Iny my business, there tends to be a lot of free booze, last night, no exception, especially in the summer, when people like to have events. I was good at this one, I even had a date later...then I had a few beers...I then met my date, who was out before as well. We had a nice time, but then had some perseco and wine. Still ok, then went to a place near me and had some weird bubbly red wine I never had before. The point, it was a fun night, we had a good time, and I think I like this girl, but yes, I would've much rather spent it the way you said....your ideal night...go out at 8, dinner and a drink, is my ideal night. So, again, I thought I was getting back on my mod track, but it is causing some difficulty.

Not to make excuses, summer has something to with it, letting loose, and I was check my schedule to see what I have the next day, mainly the morning, to not be irressponsible.

Nancy, you're next great point, the relationship notion. Ironically, when I am in a relationship, and it's going well, I tend to be at my best in all aspect of my life...more ironic that I am divorced, but, that relationship unfortunately fell apart.

So, I hear what you're saying. I even told my therapist, I think I am just lonely right now, and when I start having fun or feeling good, I want to keep that feeling..... It's a little frustrating for me right now. In the past, I'm usually good at monitoring this. Now, it's like an every other day or week thing with me. It's weird, a lot of guys would dream of my situation, I am honestly happy with the alternative.... (sigh)... what to do... I think frustrated is really what I feel now... it's not like I am waking up on street corners, beat up or in weird places....I just don't like the bloated sick and tired feeling as you pointed out... Damn, I'm frustrated..

later.

j.


P.S. Hahaha, outside of my parents, no, I have no mature friends that you made reference too...sucks...wish I did. You are the only people that know what I'm going through (and my parents), my friends have no idea..

[Stewarts]

I thought I'd re-post. I got through the day fine. I did go on my other date and I didn't drink. She actually had a dinner to go to after, which I was kind of glad, I just really want to meet and chat for a bit. It was at the tap room at my club, I drank two cranberry and club sodas (no AL), and she just had water. I got home, had a late-ish dinner, watched a little TV and had a good night sleep.

The previous date must've went well because she wants to see me again, although, we both agreed to do something a little more relaxing. She's 31 (I'm 38), I was even thinking back to when I was 31 (which I would've been, not married yet, but very much so exculsively with my ex-wife, she's a few years younger), if we ever had nights like that, and we did - I'm sure this woman still may be in that phase of her life, somewhat, I'm sure she saw not as much of a big deal as I was. I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just trying to keep things into persepctive, that I'm a little hard on myself. This doesn't mean that I want to go back to the ways of my youth, I very much want to get back on the new track I've developed as of lately...I'm just getting a little perspective.

Thanks for listening.

j.