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    1. #11
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      Moderation Toolkit

      Thanks TMH!!!

    2. #12
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      Okay, this week I've discovered a new-for-me moderation technique.... eating dinner early! This says a lot for us, since we already used to eat before 6, but now since we are needing to be af for my husband's surgery, we are starting to get dinner ready before 5. Whew! As my husband says, we are eating dinner with the blue-hairs.

    3. #13
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      I'm actually reviving this thread, I hope no one minds... :-) For the most part, my modding has been good. I have a few slip here and there, but the reason I am looking to revive this thread is I want to expand my toolkit and re-read the great suggestions.

      Briefly, I was out with a girl last night and I drank more than I would've liked. I felt fine that night, I have recollection of everything, we had fun time, but as we all know, we hate that feeling the next day. I am not doing terrible, just more like...Ehh, did I really have to have those glasses of wine with her at the end.

      Here's what happened.... I played squash first. I was going to meet her at 8:30, I was done around 7:00p,. I have been pretty good about not drinking at my club (unless with a female), but for some reason I wanted beer after my match. I had three light beers...a.) I had time to kill and b.) I figured it would make me drink less when I met her.... looking back, I see what a dumb move that was.

      We meet at this place, kind of like a dim sum place, order some apps and over I think a 2 hour period have three margaritas a piece...good news, they weren't that big, nor do I think they were that strong.

      We decide to stop by one more place before walking her home. We each have three glasses of rose. Like I said, I felt fine and I was having a good time.... then we went her separate way home...retrospect, I should've just had a beer.

      Looking at all that, I'm like damn! What was I thinking!

      There is some good news. Last girl I went out with, before this one, we were drinking white wine - I've come to realize now, unfortunately, white wine makes me very sick - emotionally, physically and mentally. I've been avoiding that. Anything more than a glass or two, can be disastrous to me - doesn't matter good wine or cheap white wine-definitely cheap. The rose we drank, did not have this effect on me in the morning...just feeling that sluggish...why did I do that feeling...

      As someone of you know I done some hypnotherapy which worked wonders. My hypno-therapist got a bad flu and has been incognito...I think I need to bother her though. Those sessions have me feeling refreshed and energized, focused on making good decisions.

      I need to work with this woman problem...and it always happens when I like the girl, because, well, we're obviously having a good time...too easy to get caught up in it....

      I know there are some apps on the phone that may help...

      My plan for today is to leave work early and go to Rhode Island...I need to relax, I think I deserve it.

      I think if we all have an organized toolkit instead of always "counting" drinks...I think it will help us all.

    4. #14
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      Get a Hypnosis recording from your therapist, then you can do it at home. There is a good iPhone hypnosis app called "quit drinking". PM me and I can send you a different one for free if you like.

    5. #15
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      Hmmmm... just remembered this. Long ago a friend who was quitting smoking told me that her therapist told her to have a ciggy, but to FIRST brush her teeth. And then brush them again afterwards. I actually have used this technique when I really wanted a drink and wanted to delay it as much as possible. Guess it could be added to the toolkit.

      Mostly it is the mind-set, though, isn't it? For moderators, we can set ourselves up to succeed or set ourselves up to fail, just by how we attend to the first drink. As I have said before, Moderating is not drinking every night. It is not drinking more than you have decided ahead of time. It is not being af all week and then bingeing on the weekend. It is not gulping the first drink so that you can sip the second, pretending it is the first. It is not sneaking drinks when no one else is looking, as if that made them not count.

      As the Abstainers love to tell us, if we came to a site like this, it ain't 'cause we like too much dessert. If we are here, it is because we know we have a problem controlling how much we drink. Moderation is hard work. For many people, it is easier to not drink at all. If we choose to moderate, we really have to work on the mind-set, keep ourselves strong, and be honest with ourselves.

      Have a wonderful weekend, my friends. Stay strong.

    6. #16
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      Great post, NNG! Last night was prime example of what I shouldn't do. Dinner was 2/$30 and a bottle of wine for $15. We got the wine. When waiter came to take dessert order, I opted instead for another chardonnay. Ugh!

      Can't change yesterday, can today!

      TMH

    7. #17
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      We went to dinner last night, and had a glass of wine each, then split a martini between us. That was it for the day, and actually for the whole week for me. BN mindful, and not having more than the two you've allotted yourself, you find it doesnt made a hoot of difference if you have more than two, as you'd just feel crappy as a result.

      It goes back to what seems the best tool of all, asking yourself what are you possibly gaining by drinking too much. Anymore, I just can't come up with any possible reason to over drink at all. I can come up a gazillion reasons not to

      Most days, if you really think about it , what is the reason to drink at all?

      Trust me, I used to find a reason to drink every Effin day.

    8. #18
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      Hey guapo, I have downloaded some hypnosis recordings for various things. I do have a control drinking one too. But yeah, I'll PM you and take you up on that.

      Just to follow up , I actually felt fine , mentally, the rest of the day. I think I was thinning to myself more, "damn I got my 730 and under miles back, I don't want to ruin it!" I also had late night pizza after that something I never do.

      But yes, I am thinking about my image. I'm at my marina right now , we had homemade pizza and made a bunch of clams. I went fishing earlier also. Thought the entire day, say from 2 or 230 on I had three beers. It's not ten to right and my last beer was probably at 5 or 530.

      Really not feeling the urge for any. If anything I feel way too full from the food I ate. I definitely got to running tomorrow.

      J.

      Too much fun with women I know is something I've always had to watch

    9. #19
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      My most important tools for moderation are:

      AF days every week;

      If I'm drinking with dinner don't start mid-afternoon. Procrastinate, have a non-Al drink or two, find a way to unwind after work without a glass of wine in my hand. For me, this is crucial!

      If I'm drinking with dinner, stop when the food stops and have something sweet. Then - brush my teeth (thanks NNGirl!)

    10. #20
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      Hi gang, Great thread here. One of the most important things I have learned that I want to share is BE CAREFUL with servers at restaurant that top off your glass. We went out to dinner to one of our favorite restaurants last Sat. and we LOVE the waiter. We always bring small gifts from various travels and crack jokes, etc. So, he brings a BIG glass of wine (which had to be double the size!). Then as we are chatting away with our guests, he keeps topping off our glasses and slowly I am getting drunker and drunker without realizing it. The end of the evening was not very pleasant as my cognitive functions were greatly impaired and there are parts of the evening I do not remember. Black outs are NOT a good thing, especially in the moderation world where one wants to believe they can drink "normally" and the shut off valve for "one too many" works. So, I am definitely re-evaluating my mod plan.

      Have had 1 drink this week. Did have dinner with a friend last night and felt that 2 was one too many when I needed to drive home. With eating and spending time to chat, the alcohol pretty much wore off by driving time. So, the binge episode was disappointing and one that I am going to work hard to NOT repeat or I will be faced with the ultimatim of saying moderation just doesn't work for me.
      Hanging in there...for now...

      p.s. Being honest here to help my friends who are moderating or checking our site out. Moderation is difficult, and we fall too, just like those trying to abstain do. But if we can be honest with ourselves and those we are trying to help, then to me, that is half the battle.
      :l
      Eve11

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