Moderation Toolkit

[DancingGirl]

My apologies to those with more wisdom than I, if there is already something like this way down the Mod Board, but I wondered if we might want to share our modding tools like the abstainers do. Many of them work for both of us, but there are some differences.

So - for me:

Make sure to go AF at least once a week. Even one AF day decreases my tolerance, which is crucial to being moderate when I do choose to drink. Two-three AF days are better than one.

Keep track of what I drink when I do. DrinkAware is my new favourite drink tracker, but I used the one on this site for a long time too.

Be honest with myself about moderation. "Binge" drinking once a week is not moderation. Drinking every day when I come home from work is not moderation.

Be kind to myself if it doesn't work out, but be honest if it is constantly not working out (see above).

I have all kinds of other tricks, but am more interested in seeing what the rest of you think and do.

[DancingGirl]

Oh, and one further thing I find crucial:

Have non-alcoholic drinks that I enjoy available. Aim to create new 'rituals' with these drinks (e.g. tea-time rather than happy hour).

[ToMyHealth]

DancG, great idea. A Moderation Toolbox.

My initial contribution would be having limes on hand. My nonalcoholic drink is often Diet Tonic with lime, Low salt V8 with lime, or ODouls with lime. My drink order out on AF days is either club soda with lime or with cranberry juice.

TMH

[I'm Strong and in Control]

AF FREE DRINKS

I had a hard time with this, as my drink of choice is red wine. I don't like anything cold, fizzy, acidic or lots of caffeine and calories. Quite a transition for me.

I've learned to enjoy lemonade (in small doses), iced tea, Arnold Palmer's (mix of iced tea and lemonade - cuts the acid), and alcohol-removed wine. I have the AF free wine at home, particularly when we have company and I don't want to explain why I'm not drinking. I put it in an empty, regular bottle of wine (with a slight mark on the label) and hubby and I refill my glass from a different bottle.

There are also just times when I want to sit and read, or look out the window and relax with a glass of wine. The habit I'm trying to break is drinking at home, particularly on weekdays and this has been a great substitute.

Hope this helps.

[nonamegirl]

Dancing Girl, I read on another thread that you thought there wasn't much interest in this... I am sorry. Perhaps it is because we all felt that we didn't have much to add?

Anyway, one tool I use that you haven't mentioned is knitting. I cannot knit if I've even had a half glass of wine... though that seems to be when I want to knit the most. I always have to rip out if I indulge while knitting. SO, progress on the current yarn-based project means progress on the moderation front.

[DancingGirl]

Hi NNG,

No need to apologise at all! I'm not upset or anything near that. I had thought a couple of times to mention that I find it interesting or curious that we're not sharing our techniques, but then thought a) that I didn't want to sound like everyone OUGHT to do that, or that I had some kind of a peeve going on; and b) like you say, these exchanges perhaps have been done before.

Also, one size doesn't fit all ... at all.

So no worries.

I like the example of knitting - if I play the piano when drinking it's probably worse, but there's no evidence.

[DancingGirl]

I just decided to update this with a couple of things I've learned (probably obvious, but helpful for me).

1) Use small glasses, or measure a small portion (125 mL or 5 oz) into a glass with a logo or picture. My favourite glass, from a upper NY state winery, has a flying bird on it. To the tip of the right wing is 5 oz.

2) Choose lower alcohol brands. I found out that B&G Partager white is only 11% but is really quite lovely

3) Drink less and your tolerance goes up. Having three glasses (even three small glasses of lower ABV) now has quite an effect!

Finally, whenever I'm having that little (stop now, no have one more) argument with myself, I remember that I never regretted stopping.

Love to all.

[Eve11]

This is a great thread DancingGirl. I posted a thread about Temptation quite a while ago and will cut and paste it here as it is a bit of a toolkit for moderators. Here goes:

This is designed for moderators so for those of you who are AF, please disregard the statements that apply to occasional drinking.

1. Make your plan
We all know how important this is. Make a plan if you are planning on drinking. If you take supps take them on planned drinking occasions. Many studies have shown that L-glut (especially) can reduce cravings.

2. Start with a non - al beverage (especially if it's going to be a long night). At a party I hosted recently I didn't allow myself to have a glass of wine until the food was served. In the past I would have been sipping the minute the guests arrived. We've all heard to drink slow- have a non-al beverage in between. Be prepared for non-al beverages (especially if you are going to someone else's home) as they may not think to offer water/ seltzers etc. in between drinks.

3. Be careful of what images of drinking you allow yourself to see before you take that first or next drink. Rather than picturing the relaxed nice buzz feeling image - concentrate on how you feel the next day - imagine how you look with blood shot eyes or puffy or tired eyes from too little sleep. Remember how you feel, anxious, depressed, possibly humiliated or remorseful.

4. Learn to procrastinate. If you have the urge for that 1st drink and don't want it or the drink that should be your last one and you want another - think to yourself "I'll just sip some water/seltzer, etc. and wait 15 min. Keep trying to wait it out until the urge passes.

5. Use distraction. Get busy with a task, physical activity, or some type of mental pursuit that gets your mind off of drinking. Turn to someone for help! Come to MWO - go to the chat room, call an understanding friend.

6. Picture yourself with a caption underneath your name. I like to put the caption of what an Uncle said to my husband about me once "She should hear herself on a tape recorder when she's been drinking". Not nice - but could work from preventing that first or last drink I shouldn't have.

7. Substitute an image other than alcohol. Picture yourself with a tall glass of seltzer with grenadine and a lime twist.

8. Figure out your triggers and avoid them when able. My trigger is drinking at home. Not a good idea for me to open a bottle of wine thinking I'll have only one or two at the most as in the past I have failed doing that. I can go out (hubby drives) and have one or two and be fine but the bottle at home doesn't work for me. Record when things haven't worked for you and don't repeat the behavior.

9. Use the ignoring technique. Just as you ignore a child having a temper tantrum so you're not rewarding the bad behavior by giving it attention (even negative attention) ignore the thoughts of having a first or last drink but just repeating ignore, ignore or just say STOP!

10. Learn meditation which can help you control your thoughts. Use a mantra that helps you. AA has some good ones and encourages members to use: "One day at a time" "This too shall pass", "Easy does it", etc.

If all else fails, remember the negative consequences script. This is the one where you must replay in your head those memories of when you yelled at the kids because you were drunk or hungover and wouldn't have done that if you had remained sober, the time you had a fight with your S.O. because alcohol was involved, the time you woke up and couldn't remember what you had done the night before and were embarrassed by what you had said or done to someone, something you did wrong morally because your inhibitions were lowered. Really give yourself the memories before you take that first or last drink and say to yourself Is it worth it?


:l
Eve11

[-143]

This is a great thread!!!!Thanks!!!! Eve....what is L-glut?

[ToMyHealth]

-143 L-Glutamine. It's an amino acid supplement available at Health Food Stores. I buy mine at GNC. I can't say as I have ever got in the habit of using it, but some people swear by it. You can find out more in the Holistic threads I think.

TMH