Page 4 of 6 FirstFirst ... 23456 LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 55

Thread: July Mod Squad

  1. #31
    Registered User. Eve11's Avatar

    Join Date;
    29th March, 2007.
    Posts;
    1,529.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    DancingGirl;1680225 wrote: Good morning!

    I'm still nicely in moderation land with an AF day yesterday and either AF or one glass at dinner planned today. The OR is if my husband decides to have an AF day, I will too.

    Just a question for all or any of you - from a thread on one of the other boards:

    Could you just have one bite of a delicious dessert and then leave the rest for everyone else to eat? Could you enjoy that one bite and not crave more?

    It is a good question about moderation in general.
    This reminds me of a true story many years ago when a lovely (extremely overweight) friend and I were leaving a restaurant. Someone had left an uneaten dessert (with perhaps only a bite taken) and the other person had left a half glass of wine. Simultaneously she and I looked at each other and said..."how could they leave that...
    "uneaten dessert" (her) "almost full glass of wine" (me). So true, so true, and this is why moderation is difficult and does not work for most people.

    :l
    Eve11

  2. #32
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    7th July, 2009.
    Posts;
    255.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    Eve11;1685919 wrote: This reminds me of a true story many years ago when a lovely (extremely overweight) friend and I were leaving a restaurant. Someone had left an uneaten dessert (with perhaps only a bite taken) and the other person had left a half glass of wine. Simultaneously she and I looked at each other and said..."how could they leave that...
    "uneaten dessert" (her) "almost full glass of wine" (me). So true, so true, and this is why moderation is difficult and does not work for most people.

    :l
    Eve11
    Hi Eve11 !!

    Halfway through your story, I thought - I hope the ending is not that one person finished the wine and the other the dessert! :H

    But more seriously, seeing friends and family drink very moderately - leaving a half glass of wine or pouring it out because it was time to leave, or they just realized that they'd had enough - that made me think more seriously about my drinking.

  3. #33
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    13th September, 2012.
    Posts;
    460.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    Happy Monday, all!
    So, we must be in the summer doldrums. Where is everyone? Emmy? Lasha?

    We had a brief respite from the heat on Saturday, and now it is ramping up again. But honestly, can't complain too much as long as the forest fires stay away. Poor California!

    I will be away from my computer for several days again, so I wish everyone a happy week and a good end to July. See you all soon!

  4. #34
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    26th May, 2014.
    Posts;
    183.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    Good weather, good behavior, no work this week.

    All good !!

  5. #35
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    7th July, 2009.
    Posts;
    255.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    I'll not drink today

    I won't drink today, because I need to do two AF days in a row.

    (I'm re-appropriating the "I will not drink today because" thread from the Monthly Moderation board. It seems to have been colonized. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not comfortable posting there).

  6. #36
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    26th May, 2014.
    Posts;
    183.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    I won't either, but it's mainly because it's midweek, and there's no reason to.

  7. #37
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    7th July, 2009.
    Posts;
    255.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    For me it's that old "habit" thing. I don't drink copiously, but I do have to fight the habit of enjoying a glass of wine on the patio almost every day after work. So. I won't drink today!!

  8. #38
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    18th April, 2012.
    Location;
    New York City.
    Posts;
    485.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    I wont drink today because I was out with a train wreck last night (her not me), and it made me drink more than I wanted to! LOL :-)

    (it's going to be one of those days...I think...)

  9. #39
    Forum Subscriber. satz123's Avatar

    Join Date;
    6th May, 2009.
    Location;
    IRELAND.
    Posts;
    18,109.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    Hi there.
    I interested in how moderation works for folks on here.
    Does it work for you ?

    I have fought with my weight for decades and to me moderation of alcohol seems the same and just as painful.
    I can have that - but I can't have that - even though everyone else is having that

    It's soooo tiresome
    I'm all for an easy life

    The last time I 'allowed' myself drink - after the initial buzz I really didn't want to do it to myself then because I knew the outcome if I were to try 'keep up' with others.
    But I did do it and it took me a week to get back to the nice , normal feeling of being AF.
    I felt so bad I documented it to always remind myself that I do not want that feeling again.

    I think now that drinking alcohol is abnormal. Specifically for 'us' because we know we have a problem with al - after all that is what brought us & keeps us here ?

  10. #40
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    18th April, 2012.
    Location;
    New York City.
    Posts;
    485.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July Mod Squad

    HI Satz, well is not easy. You got me on a good day, because I had one of those tiresome nights last night. I think the scary thing is, when you slip-up, NOT knowing why. That is what used to scare the crap out of me. I would be good for a long time, and then something would happen, and I have no idea why. An abstainer friend actually put it into perspective, she said, "it's your goto." Like all of us.

    I'm like you, I want an easy life. To the point, I've even said to myself, I like myself when I'm just boring.... LOL. My last slip up, bad one, kind of, was a about a month ago, which is when I got this advice. I was actually finally started to re-connect with some old friends and some new ones. I initially was having wine, because I wasn't planning on drinking really...long story short, I had too much....now nothing bad/embarrassing happened, I just felt like crap. I learned a few things...one, white wine makes me sick....like mentally and physically. Now, I like white wine, but need to watch it...is it worth it...no, of course not.

    Last night, I had a similar situation. This girl I'm dating, is very curious by nature, which is fine. However, I didn't realize, what she was digging into, I didn't want to talk about, that made me order another margarita. Now, I'm being self conscious...because she saying things like, "I think you're absolutely sexy, but I want to see if I really like you as a person." This is a third date, all previous ones have been good, even this one is good, but now I'm thinking, "oh, crap, I am coming off as the boring business guy now."

    So, we go to another place to eat where they know me, which was probably a mistake because they are heavy with the pours and service. Anyway, we order a bottle of perseco, I'm trying to show her a good time, which also leads me to bad jokes, which came into "you can pay for dinner." Which I absolutely did not expect her to. Anyway, this girl, just to sum it up quickly, to her own accord, comes from a white trash background, literally, women at 15 in her family having kids, and flipped!

    I had to console her outside, I obviously struck a cord. She was crying, saying how much she hates me, etc...I never had to work for anything..etc... I did calm her down and we had a nice dinner, but again, more booze.
    when
    She wanted me to go to her place, I did....ok there is a point to this story....when things got uncomfortable for me in this situation, and when I felt vulnerable or boring, the "goto" unfortunately kicked in. The good news, I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

    Now, let's call her N, texted me this morning, "X, you're a great guy, but this is just not going to work out." I texted back, "Too bad. Understood." Now, is AL the reason this relationship didn't go anywhere else? No. It probably wouldn't work out. Joke or not, her reaction was COMPLETELY over the top. She definitely has some issues to work out and I'm not going to apologize for being successful and having a "normal" upbringing.

    The good news. I know now, I need to be very conscious of this. I can't worry about people thinking I'm boring (I was a wild kid, that's why this stuff pains on me, the suit, is just a suit..LOL). If someone is pushing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about, for whatever reason, just say I don't want to talk about it, or make a comment like, "...best comes to those who wait." or something like that.

    So, I did feel crappy this morning. I went to my club to go for a run and lay down for a bit. I emailed my hypnotherapist, re-confirming we had a session, because as I said, truthfully, "I've had some personal stresses this week and need my "me" time."

    That's all it is/was.

    This morning I also thought about interactions I've had with people when I'm the most comfortable, outside of work, I actually found, I'm most comfortable when I have people over, which in NYC looks like a line for girl, but for me, it's really not....I'm not expecting sex or even trying. Even this last one, I had her over for dinner the second date and we had a great time... there was a few glasses of wine, or champagne, that's all, no big deal...I felt secure, that's all it was.

    I also feel secure when I am out with myself.

    I am pining on all this because I am hoping this helps you. Moderation is possible. When I mod, or have modded the best was when I was married and when I am in a relationship. Why? I felt secure.

    I am glad this happened with N. There's no ill will between us, there shouldn't be, she said how she felt and I acknowledged with no complaint. I either need to be stronger or, perhaps open up about these things I don't want to talk about, which is usually things I want to write about it...they are dark, I don't feel like discussing them...I don't feel like I am good at explaining them, verbally, ironically, writing them, easier.

    Another thing, write on here and talk to people.

    Keeping up with others...we can ALL relate. Let's face it, I'll say I don't like to drink, the reality is, I do. I just don't like what it does to me, and I think others here are the same. When you're entire adult and adolescent life it's been with you socially, it's hard to break. And let's not kid ourselves, some of my most fun as a kid and young man...the craziest, funniest stories, involved drugs and alcohol...but, also it was key in some of the worst.

    Take it one day at a time. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. And you know what, most people, or I should say a lot of people have problems with alcohol, they just don't see it and I'm not talking about alcoholics, their issues are much more dire - it's life and death.

    The good news for you Satz, is you want to do something about it. And you know what. You will.

    j.

Similar Threads

  1. July Mod Squad
    By nonamegirl in forum Long Term Moderators
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: July 29th, 2013, 09:01 AM
  2. July Mod Squad
    By ToMyHealth in forum Long Term Moderators
    Replies: 287
    Last Post: August 1st, 2012, 09:34 AM
  3. mod squad oh my! july!
    By letgolaughing in forum Long Term Moderators
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: August 3rd, 2010, 08:12 AM
  4. Mod Squad - July Thread!!!
    By vlad in forum Long Term Moderators
    Replies: 255
    Last Post: July 31st, 2009, 10:40 AM
  5. Mod Squad
    By goingtofeelgreat in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: April 30th, 2009, 12:14 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •