August Mod Squad

[Stewarts]

I agree WR, If I abbed, which I do think of from time to time, I would not go on the ab boards I'd stay here. Something weird happened to me last night, not weird, but I should've seen this coming... I was at my therapist yesterday morning, feeling kind of blah, I had a late hockey game, but truth be told, I felt the depression kicking in. My day was fine, I then decided to go to the roof of my club to have a glass of wine, which I probably shouldn't have done. I really just wanted one, or two and look over the Park. Anyway, I started feeling bad about myself, even had thoughts about jumping off the top into Central Park. I bumped into one friend, but stayed to myself and had like 304glasses of wine. The last one, I didn't even finish, I don't think I got half way through it even, I decided it was time to pick up food and go home.

On the way back, I stopped into the place I used to meet my ex, why, I don't know. I ordered another glass of wine and talked to some nice guy and the bartender. Then some crazy (in a good way) old woman sat next to me and chatted me up. The good news, I wasn't feeling bad anymore, she made me laugh, asked me why I was single and then tried to set me up with the hostess when I went to the bathroom, I bought her a drink. I then ordered one more, again, didn't finish it as I decided it was time for me to leave. I left my AMEX card there, which is not a big deal...a place like that will hold on to it and I can pick it up on the way home.

I woke up fine today..yeah, I know I broke a lot of my rules, and felt a little edgy initially when I woke up, but nothing terrible and its gone. I just hated feeling so lonely at one of my favorite places, that being my club, I didn't make an effort to talk to anyone; the one person I knew was having girls chat with another, which I respect. I think that is why I stopped in the place I used to meet Dana all the time, her place, it's on my home. OH, I didn't go in hoping to see her, I made sure she wasn't there before I went in... Anyway... it was just a weird feeling...part of me was like I should've went home, part was like, it's good you enjoyed some of the weather (I went running earlier also).

Oh, on my way to work, walking to the subway I did see Dana across the street. I'm not sure if she saw me or not, my feeling, she probably did, she's quite observant and perceptive, she plays like she doesn't know what's going on; anyway, I think I might have just gave her a nod, I don't really remember, after that I put some music on and didn't look back...

I remember saying to myself, what happened to all the club soda and cranberry I got in the habit of drinking at the club... LOL

[guapo]

Moderation continues well through week 2 of vacation. It's all or nothing on the abstinent boards, and God forbid you're not all.

What seems paradoxical to me, is that the thrust of abstinence is to count EVERY SINGLE DAY.. That's pretty stressful. I prefer to acknowledge my habits and view them in a healthful, and not destructive way, and just leave it at that.

[Stewarts]

Excellently Said

guapo;1698749 wrote: Moderation continues well through week 2 of vacation. It's all or nothing on the abstinent boards, and God forbid you're not all.

What seems paradoxical to me, is that the thrust of abstinence is to count EVERY SINGLE DAY.. That's pretty stressful. I prefer to acknowledge my habits and view them in a healthful, and not destructive way, and just leave it at that.

Yes Gaupo, as always, very perceptive. I also think some of them, abbers, deep down, are jealous because they can't drink, they don't have that self-control....everything is all or nothing...either I'm going to drink my face off or not at all...anyway...I'm starting to wonder if I should've waited for Dana to cross the street and talk to her...actually, I was probably better off what I did, putting the music on and not looking back.

j.

[guapo]

Is Dana an ex ?

[nonamegirl]

Guapo, I agree with you. Having a healthy life-style, exercising, loving life, enjoying waking up each morning with a plan, that's what I like about this. I am doing well with it at the moment and love coming here to read how you all are doing, too.

Stewarts, you know what I am going to say. I TOTALLY think you did the right thing by not waiting to talk to Dana. She doesn't deserve you at all, at all. You'll always have blue days, always have better days. And soon (I feel it in my bones) there is going to come the just right girl for you. I did chuckle, though, over your typo. I bet you meant 3 or 4 glasses, not 304. Freudian slip, no?

Have a great end of the week, everyone!

[nonamegirl]

Hey, all my lovely moderating friends.
As you know, I don't tend to spend a lot of time on the other boards, for reasons of which we are all too aware. However, I did happen to see the board "Updates from RJ" this morning, and read through the whole thing. I suggest we all do.

I think that we, as a moderating group, should also donate as we can, to this lovely site. I'd hate to lose track of all of you, and I have gotten some wonderful help and support here over the years.

Let's pitch in. I wish we could all gather up physically, put on some over-alls and volunteer, like they do here to build a play-ground, but that isn't what is needed here. I'm putting mine in today.

[Lasha]

Why do I do it

Hi All,

The problem with moderating is you must keep your foot on the pedal at all times. After working hard on my GH and at my job I rewarded myself by going for a leaving drink with some workmates for a young engineer going off to another job.

I asked my wife if she minded and she said no problem have a good time. She doesn't drink at all now and even went to the wedding in Aberdeen where everyone was drinking and she still abstained. I thought she was supposed to be the mad one!

Cut to the chase I went early so started drinking before everyone else and ended up drinking about 6 pints of cider and a bottle of wine. Next day I was still a bit drunk and we went down the market for mussels so I had to buy a bottle of wine for the sauce. DISASTER..............
Sunday had the shakes and the sweats and depression, kept thinking of Bryan Ferry's words "We live we die we know not why"

Today I'm determined to get back on my bike and behave myself.
Why did I do it?
I just don't know.

Lash

[Lasha]

Sorry to rant,

It's not a pint of cider/bottle of wine.

It's a pint of depression
It's a pint of anxiety
It's a pint of panic attacks
It's a pint of sweats
It's a pint of shakes

Just got to get this through my thick skull.

L

[nonamegirl]

AH, Lash. Dang it! Hope today is better. You'll get through this one, stronger than ever before. Good for you for coming back here and being honest. And have to say this again, I am so very glad you came back to our board! We miss you when you are gone.

Be gentle with yourself, treat yourself calmly. Actually, that is for all of us this week. Good luck, my friends.

[Lasha]

Hi NNG,

Missed you as well.

Had a bad day yesterday, so bad I phoned in sick today, first for a long time.

Thanks for the support, I will not go back to my old ways.

When that trigger goes I don't want to come back and that's what being an Alchie is all about I suppose. Back to basics, I actually thought I had it cracked but you cant let it slip as I've just realised.

Going to walk my cocker spaniel up in the forest and eat something tasty with some fruit juice.
Tomorrow is another day.

More confident Lash