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    1. #1
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      January Mod Thread

      Well, this makes plenty of sense to me. His blog is certainly worth a visit.

      Moderation Manifesto: Appetites

      You and your appetites can live together as long as it’s clear who’s in charge. Your love for each other is unquestioned, but at the same time there need to be rules and routines, places where certain behavior is okay, and others where it is not. Keeping your appetite on a leash when you leave the house is a good way to stay out of trouble. Some house training is in order as well.
      Remember, you have an obligation to pay attention to these appetites. Neglect them and eventually they will erupt in a frustrated destructive fury. (I could belabor the metaphor to the breaking point by suggesting that checking into a rehab center is like sending them to the kennel–eventually they come home after being cooped up, but I’ll think stop with a mere mention of that.)
      So, if you’re trying to reform your drinking, think of it as training something that you love, rather than fighting something that is your enemy.

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    3. #2
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      I like that guapo, I love it when someone asks me if I'd like a drink and I can say no thanks it's a bit early for me.

      Once upon a time like you all I'd have bitten his hand off, it's good to change!
      It's not what you drink, it's how much!

    4. #3
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      HI, All!
      Guapo, I also like that quote. Makes perfect sense to me - and most of the time I feel as if I am keeping my little critter under control quite well.

      Sorry that I have been gone from the community for so long. It is not that I don't love all of you - I really do. We are family, in a very weird and wonderful way. But, I did just need a little break, I guess as all families do from time to time.

      I am doing well, after the holidays. It was a beautiful and lovely, restful season here, with plenty of snow and both of us healthy. All is well in the north woods.

      Take care, my friends. I'll check back.

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    6. #4
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      Hi Nonamegirl,

      Good to hear from you and like me it's good to be in control. I haven't had what I call a blowout for about 3-4 months WOW. Just need to keep my foot on the pedal, for some reason I forget from time to time but it seems to be disappearing.

      100 mph winds up in Shetland, my sister has lost power and phone so I'm taking bookings and relaying to her mobile. Thought I was on a day off but never mind.

      Wife is fine, Jobs going well, GH is ticking over and my wee dog is getting better.

      He cant quite jump into the back of my car yet so I have to lift him in but he's trying, wee man.

      Lash
      It's not what you drink, it's how much!

    7. #5
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      Hi everyone,
      I'm not really sure where to post the question: "what are the rules to successfully moderate?" I know that there are many stories on here of people who have tried and failed to moderate, and they ultimately decide to not drink anymore, BUT....

      I am thinking about drinking. I was not in a "bad place" when I stopped, but I had a young niece that was going through detox and I felt like she needed an AF relative for support. At the same time, my dad was living his final days, and frankly, I had no desire to drink.

      I posted this question in one of the Newbies threads and was basically TOLD that there is "no such thing as successful moderation, as proof by the lack of activity in this part of the forum." Perhaps this is true, but the other reason may be that people that are successful at moderating don't feel the need to raise their hand and check in every day.
      Perhaps there is less dialog because it's not needed?

      If you are successful moderating, will you share your best practices?

      Thanks in advance.
      "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
      so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."

    8. #6
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      Here's a start

      ** Moderated drinking is not for everyone. Some will find the counting intolerable, and the constant attention it requires can become emotionally draining to the best of us. Many prefer pure abstinence for its grace and simplicity. But for those who’ve struggled with bad habits, wrestling them back under control is about so much more than “getting to drink.” It’s an exercise in self-control, an affirmation of our sovereignty over ourselves, and it can exert a profoundly positive influence on seemingly unrelated areas of our lives. We eventually discover that our reduced numbers actually bring us more pleasure and satisfaction than our previous consumption patterns ever did. For those willing to accept the task, the count becomes a record of achievement, marking the path away from the mechanical habits of the past and towards a mindful, responsible, and healthier future." **

      The moderation manifesto is a fantastic insightful blog about moderation.

      Members of the MWO forum trumpet their satisfaction with being alcohol free, count the days they are alcohol free, and are absolutely certain there is absolutely no other way to deal with previous over drinking. Much like AA.

      That's fine, if you believe that, and want to spend the rest of your life getting through each day, and counting the days you are free of the prison of alcohol.

      Moderation is certainly possible, I've been doing it for over a year, have not been over the legal limit, and can see that drinking for its own sake, accomplishes nothing, , but in certain occasions like dinner, or holidays, Is fine.

      There is a website, moderation management, that Deals with this issue.

      Have a visit there, and see what you think, it sounds like you know The views of the abstinence crowd.
      Last edited by guapo; January 12th, 2015 at 07:02 AM.

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    10. #7
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      A few ideas (not all mine)

      1. Don’t drink on consecutive days—Essentially, this strategy keeps me from falling into any regular drinking routine. Moreover, it promotes better planning about when (and why) I’ll choose to drink. For example, as the weekend approaches, I need to consider if and when I will opt to drink. If something is happening on Sat night where I’ll want to drink, then I plan my Fri to not drink. Related sub-strategy: don’t drink on Sundays. Combining these two approaches ensures that I’ll never drink more than 3 days per week.

      2. Enjoy a drink for at least one hour—This helps keep my BAC lower, allowing me to sense and enjoy the benefits of a drink, without leading to impaired behavior and judgment. Plus, it’s hard to drink a helluva lot if you are only having one per hour.

      3. Always, always count drinks—The awareness associated with counting (and subsequently recording) my number of drinks undoubtedly promotes moderation. Related sub-strategy: set planned number of drinks for the day before drinking starts.

      4. No sneaking—Not surprisingly, sneaky drinking is bad drinking.

      5. Be done when changing venue—This approach helps me choose to not drink before going out, and keeps me from having a nightcap when I get home.

      6. Use only one type of alcohol during any drinking day—Beer while cooking, wine with dinner, after dinner whiskey…just a bad routine that inevitably leads to too many drinks.
      Would add:

      Listen to wife who asks how much I've had (while out). Don't get mad, just be honest.

      Never in car

      Nevet get BAC over legal limit

      Never to destress after work.

      NEVER alone

      NO shots, repeat, NO shots

      Never more than 3 in a day ( except Christmas or Thanksgiving)

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    12. #8
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      Never drink before 8pm seems to work for me but I think you've got the right ideas.

      I've been a moderate drinker for 12 years apart from a blip when my wife was ill or a special all day wedding etc.

      And if you fail always wake up the next day and say no I will not go back there.
      It's not what you drink, it's how much!

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    14. #9
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      Wow Lasha, that's great!.

      I've been moderating around a year, and it's my new normal.

      Did you say you were from Scotland? I was in Edinburgh, and down through Wales to London over a two-week period this summer. I moderated (maybe 8 drinks in 2 weeks), but had a glass of super good Scottish whiskey. Also tried some very good English and Scottish Ales and Ciders. No abstinence for me, no sir.

      Otherwise I wouldn't have enjoyed that taste treat.

      Watching everyone stand around outside the bars in London getting sloshed was a little repulsive though.

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    16. #10
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      Wow, those were a lot of posts. Oh, here's a book for you all to read, "Search Inside Yourself"

      I had one of my school weekends where we go away. This tend to be non-modding events. I was good Thursday night in that I got home at midnight, there was definitely some sh@# showness that went on into the wee hours. Friday Night however, got weird. Definitely drank too much, but think I got drugged. This was really upsetting to our Cohort. Apparently, someone from the other Cohort either got his young slutty girlfriend, or she was a flat out prostitute to try and engage one of the girls in our cohorts to take a "drink of this." Now this is up in Westchester, all Fordham grad students, you don't think anything bad can happen. I really didn't know what was going on. I remember seeing the slutty looking girl at the bar, talking to her, I didn't think much of it. She said she was meeting family. She was then hanging out with us in a conference room in the hotel we took over for a party. I still didn't think much of it and she was talking to one of my friend/girls. when she had the "Drink" I said, "I'll take a sip of that" and did, just a little sip, like Guapo said, I steer away from shots also. It was kind of sweet. Apparently one of our other buddies like chugged half of it!

      I am not going to get into detail, but apparently, a guy in the other Cohort was trying to get this girl to drug one of our girls and bring her back to his room. My friend, thankfully never drank it, but her and few others went to confront this guy, where they found this girl there in her bra and panties and all hell broke loose (I wasn't there). My friend that drank half of whatever, was starting to feel really woozy and had hard time standing, and his ex military.

      We all didn't get the whole story afterwards, and as for me, I was fine, but felt a little jittery and anxious. My one friend asked me I needed to tell her, a secret apparently, that conversation I have no recollection of. I asked her I was acting, and she said fine, normal, you had nothing to worry about you seemed like X, just having fun.

      I don't know what the truth is or was. If this is true, it makes me sick and it made me sick (mentally) all day Sunday. I took it easy Saturday. It makes me not want to see anyone anymore. When I got back to NYC, I went for a walk with a girl I guess I am now kind of dating. I told her about it, it felt good.

      I am, we all are, just relieved nothing bad happened to the girl in our cohort. Honestly, I felt guilty because I feel I should've been able to pick up what was going on.... I was just so oblivious, like I said, I think all of our guards were done considering the people around and the location. :/

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