Feb Mod Thread

[Stewarts]

Wow, this place has really died. Well, I have derailed. I'm ok, not in a ditch anywhere, just being foolish and I pay for it with anxiety and depression. I did not like turning 40 and I have been really stressed at work. The work stress is actually good stress. The turning 40 and making my mind race, coupled with the work stress is a bad thing...I'll have to admit, it actually does make me want to drink. I actually had a nice date last night, but definitely drank too much wine, I can feel it.

I have been skiing a lot and will going to Mont Tremblant this weekend. I always say this with ski vacas and fail, but I am telling myself not drink... my moods are all over the place lately and it really messes with my psyche. I did go to the gym running and that helped. All and all, I really shouldn't complain that much, things are definitely better than say a year or two ago. I remember then, if I'd have this type of slip ups I'd be almost suicidal... I definitely DO NOT feel like that. I just feel like I want to veg out and not deal with people. The girl I've been dating (not from last night) I've been ignoring lately...I just don't want to deal with her. She's actually very sweet, doesn't drink, but she's way too into me...I just can't deal with that right now... I want to be alone.

I might text her or call her in a day so...even just to say I was having a little bit of a rough time after the birthday. She knows I wasn't looking forward to it. She is an uber positive person and was talking like me turning 40 is the best thing ever...not from my POV.

Anyway, I wish you were all back. Just writing a little hear is making me feel better.

You know, every decade or so, I think a bout my routines and what I do usually alter them. For example, when I was around 27 I recall realizing the days of partying to 4, 5 in the morning and then having little sleep and going to work were over. I think at 30 I realized vere away from shots, only drink beer. Now that I am forty, I think I need to think about keeping myself in routine or something like that... when my mind is racing a lot, that is usually when I derail... anyway...I hope all are well...

j.

[ducky]

Hey Stewarts it sure is quiet around here. I remember the turning 40 thing. It was tough for me as well because i was not where i wanted to be in my life. Things improved later that year so hoping that is the case for you as well! And 50s are more relaxed I think...Hope you have a nice ski trip and hope some of the other posters show up!

[Stewarts]

Thanks...it's still weird and I am having ups and downs. As far as the drinking part, it's been ok..same thing, on track some times, some times not, but the "some times not" only last a day, literally. Things can be worse I guess. And yes, it's a shame things have died around here.