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  • Page 601 of 701 FirstFirst ... 101501551591599600601602603611651 ... LastLast
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    1. #6001
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      BK - my mum once said to me (we were sitting in a restaurant/cafe), after I had made a derogatory comment about my looks - "WHO in here would you rather look like?" I looked around - and there was NO-ONE ! As I get older and more wrinkly and - well just OLD, I realise that it doesn't matter what we look like ! I was only in my 20's when my mum asked me that and even though I didn't like my looks- there was no-one else that I would have chosen to look like ! I have seen your picture - I think you are pretty - for what MY opinion is worth! I think it really is what is inside that shines out from us - no matter what we look like. So, please stop worrying about your looks - when you are my age, you will be grateful for looking the way that you do now !!

      Yes, I am comfortable with who I am - after all, I can't be anyone else !! I love me and know that I am a good person - which is the most important thing, I think. YOU are a lovely person - and that is what counts! Looks do not matter - truly !! It is what we have inside - and that is what has made me the person I am today.

      Regarding the drinking .... I talked with my therapist yesterday and had a wonderful appt., but we talked about the drinking - and any step forward is good - I think it is great that you are aware of it and trying .... it took a long time for us to get where we are - so it is like I think dieting must be - don't expect overnight miracles ! I feel with me that it is one step forward and two steps back sometimes. But I have Faith that I will get there in the end.

      Houtx - so sorry about the scottish chap ...... but you sound as if you are better off without him.

      Dizzy - your Max sounds wonderful - we have a Max too - gave birth to him 18 years ago! (well I didn't personally - LOL - but we had his mum). Your Max sounds lovely, but it would be one heck of a journey for him !!!! I had Winston, whom we had from 3 months old and he would go under my daughters bed whenever I went to UK - only coming out for food and the lit tray - then when I got home, he would sit with his back to me !!! When I had chemo, and was bald, he would sleep on my head - after all, I had lost my 'fur' and needed to be kept warm - he was MY cat !! Lived til he was 18 ..... and I was devastated, but it wasn't fair to him to keep him alive. You could get another cat - it wouldn't be the same - but I think the having of a pet is very good for us emotionally. There are SO many at the animal shelters!

      Oh - re the Vitamin D - every time I go for my cancer check up they check my Vit D and I am always around 23-25 - TOO LOW ! I try to remember to take one each week - but always forget - my oncologist suggested ONE 50,000 IU tab once a week. he gave me an RX but I get them on-line as it is cheaper.

      Meggie - I will Pm you about my job as I don't want to put it out here where everyone and anyone can see it !! Most of the folk on here know what I do, but will PM you....

      Have to go and feed the dogs - it is 5.00 and they are all sitting here staring at me - LOL

      love and hugs, Sun XXX

    2. #6002
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Sun- that is AWESOME that your mum said that. Really puts things into perspective. I really do not worry about looks that much. I just sometimes have a bad day. I cut all my hair off and dyed in brown so it was a little shocking for me. HA! I still look hot for almost 45 yrs. :happy:HA! I have put on a bit of weight and my 15 yr. old. told me big butts are in style.:yes2: I love that kid. Plus the husband loves me no matter what I look like. He is really the only one I like to impress once in awhile. He is adorable so I like to match him. At least I am not in these yet...:grannypants: :H

      I like the relation between drinking and dieting. It is a good way to look at it. Sometimes when my dark cloud is looming over me I get really down but then I come here and talk with people and realize I am just normal as the rest of you.

      Dizzy- I am sorry I did not read more carefully. I am sorry your fur friend isnt with you. That stinks. Maybe like Sun said... a visit to the rescue is in order. I hope you are doing well.

      I am having a good day. Excited for a Xmas party sorta... I am anxious to see where I land because my craving to drink isnt really there. It always seems to creep up in the afternoons. booooooooo

      I am looking forward to fixing myself up and seeing what my new hair looks like with some make up.
      Good day to all.
      XO

    3. #6003
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hi there from snowy here ..... LOL. I have already been out running errands and am back in for the day now. The roads were not too bad - they are pretty good at clearing them. The dogs love the snow and it is such a treat to watch them play in it. They are all flaked out now - exhausted !!

      BK - YOU cut your hair off? Go you !! Can you send me a pic of the 'new you' ? I would love to see it !

      I love that you and your hubs have such a great relationship - it is rare these days. I too am very lucky with my hubs - I cannot imagine my life without him.

      I laughed at you being as normal as the rest of us - I sometimes wonder 'what is normal?' but then laugh it off - it matters not as long as I am happy - right ?

      WHO are you to mock granny panties? ROTFLMBO !!! Actually I cannot imagine wearing those ..... even though I am a granny !

      How did your Xmas party go - and the drinking ? Please let us know .....

      Hope everyone else is doing well - come and post !

      love and hugs,

      sun XXX

    4. #6004
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Morning everyone ...... gosh it echoes in here ........

      Hugs, sun XX

    5. #6005
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Okay ..... WHERE is everyone ??

      hugs, sun XX

    6. #6006
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Maybe everyone is busy shopping or getting ready for the holidays. Very strange and quiet here.

    7. #6007
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      :wavin:Good morning-

      I'm lurking around. I think everyone is preoccupied with holiday stuff.

      I am hoping all are finding support in the holidays and feeling loved:threekisses:

      I am cruising along. Some family drama popped up but I didn't feel like climbing in the bottle yet. As the holidays creep closer I am feeling my usual stress. My husband's family plans all their activities that I will not be participating in .
      I wonder if I'm jealous of the fact that my family is so torn apart that we no longer communicate. His family wasn't very accepting of me when we got married & plain wasn't very nice to me at times and now I have hardened my heart toward them.
      After 15 years of marriage they gave decided that I'm ok I guess. His Italian grandmother was such a stinker to me to put it mildly & now that she is getting old she is nice to me. WTF!

      My husband think I should just bury my feelings because they have changed up their ways and accept them. I just don't work that fast or like that. I have something inside me that once I get close to someone and they hurt me- that is it. I'm done no second chances.
      I am entitled to my feelings but sometimes I think it would do me good to be able to let go of some of the hurt feelings I harbor. My husband said I wear my feelings on my sleeve- he had a lot to drink but it still made me think- do I?
      It's interesting talking to my husband when he is drunk & I am sober. Drunk people say what they mean I feel - sort of a truth serum. I don't want to take on all his words because I don't believe he knows everything he is talking about. I think he likes to call me out once in a while because I often do it to him. Marriage- adore him one day & want to scratch his eyes out the next. We are still growing as a couple.:durn:

      I woke up and started thinking about drinking- not this am but wondering if I will drink tonight? I am doubting it. I haven't drank since Friday in which I control drank and stayed at about 6 drinks unheard of for me. Makes me happy. I am loving the Nal.:wave:
      I am feeling like less of a slave to the bottle and it is liberating. I feel I can drink but I don't have to get snot slinging drunk to enjoy my evening- what a concept.

      Be checking in- I like to stay close the boards as it provides security & comfort.:l

    8. #6008
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hi there - just a swift post - BK - SO sorry about your uncle. My thoughts are with you and your family - it must be really hard for your mum/dad - I don't know whose brother he was. I have never lost a brother or sister but cannot imagine it .....

      Just hang in there okay? We are here for you.

      Also - sorry about your hubs family feeling that way - but you are showing them that you are a wonderful person - 15 years of marriage is not to be sniffed at. You obviously have a good one.

      I have e-mailed you about the rest of it - which you know but didn't want folk reading, to think I am ignoring it !!

      Love and hugs to you,

      sun XX

    9. #6009
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hi all!!

      I am posting what I posted on another thread here because it's an update to how I am.

      Hi Sun- thanks for always being here. I have been low that past couple days.
      Trying to evaluate my feelings so I don't slip to far down.


      I have drank the past 2 days
      Tuesday night I had approximately 10 and last night-Wednesday 7-8. Diligently taking my Nal and I haven't been getting drunk per say. It's progress I think.
      Something disturbed the positive feelings I was feeling toward my journey with alcohol. Maybe the death of my uncle bothered me enough to make me feel like I am regressing a little. That kind of feeling of slipping back into that dark black hole I was starting to climb out of. This doesn't feel very good. I find myself beating myself up and thinking "you are so weak you can't let a death bother you and ruin what you have been striving to do." That is not healthy self talk... This is... "It's a sad thing that happen, it's ok to feel sad". Take time to feel my emotions and let them be.
      I am a master at the "got my shit together facade" but on the inside I struggle tremendously & struggle to reach out to those that love me when I need them. I come here where it is safe because I have tag name to hide behind. I have got to open up and let people love me.
      I went out to dinner with a friend of mine last night & put my "totally got my shit together" face on. We talk about life and things and I can feel I have my game face on. I am not going to tear up or show that I am bothered. I am trying to be more expressive thru email & text although I know it isn't as personal as a phone call or face to face but it's a start to letting my guard down. I have plans to meet another friend of mine tonight for dinner but I am thinking I will cancel- I want to be home with my family but I will be honest I do feel like drinking- right now. I haven't taken my Nal yet and sometimes I think maybe I should put off taking it because I won't drink if I don't take it because I don't feel safe without- so just maybe I wouldn't drink if I didn't take it. I don't trust myself very much and will probably end up taking it soon.
      My husband and I have been working hard on our relationship. It's been going good but I am starting to revert back to some old insecurities just very recently that I don't quite understand.

      Wishing all a wonderful holiday:coolsanta:

    10. #6010
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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hi there Bk - I feel bad for not responding to your post - where is everyone else ?? I am absolutely shattered ! Did an 11 hour day and it was a very heavy day ! I am too tired to even think straight. Came home and sank down on the sofa with a Guinness - then showered and am off to bed now. Too tired to post properly - I am SO sorry !! I will reply in the AM.

      Love and hugs, Sun XXX

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